Confidence is something that is invaluable in my life and business. I was an eye surgeon and entrepreneur for a long time, though confidence, true core confidence and a healthy self-image was not something that I actually possessed despite outward appearances.
I had bought into the lie that if I worked really hard, ignored my needs and just pressed on into the world of academics and achievement that I would feel good about myself, have plenty of confidence and happiness and live happily ever after.
Well, apparently this fairy tale lives on as I look around me and see women knocking themselves out and getting sick physically and emotionally from burnout and stress. I know men do this also, yet I’m specifically addressing women here.
Now that I’ve taken the time to go inside and learn how to eliminate the blind spots that were distorting my own self-image and limiting my true potential for business success, happy relationships and good health, I can see more clearly how to acquire the vision for my life that I always hoped for.
Now don’t misunderstand me, business and professional success is quite important to me, but now that I “know who I am” instead of believing the media and societal nonsense that there is something wrong with me or that I am deficient in who I am in some way, I can relax and have more energy and space to be my authentic self.
This authentic self, I call it the “Magnificent Me”, is separate from the sense of “self” that we form in our brains, the mental construct of “who we think we are” – The Mental Me. Science is now finally beginning to venture into this murky territory. It is not a black and white conclusion if examined like a math formula, yet the more we come to understand how our brain/mind create these identity stories, the more empowered we can be especially as women.
I find that we as women carry an over abundance of self-deprecation. We are constantly self-rejecting, rejection others, comparing, judgment and over doing. Men have far more testosterone than we do and can get away with over working more easily. When we over indulge in work and then turn around and try to seek love and approval by pleasing everyone but ourselves, our sexy, playful parts get neglected and we turn into “dull girls” (no offense ladies, “dull women” is just fine also).
Staying healthy is not just about going to the gym. This helps, no doubt, yet if you are only focusing on your physical body and ignoring the power of your mind, you are not being as effective if you could be. Why? Dis-Ease starts in the mental and emotional realm.
You are a whole person, spirit, mind, emotions and physical. We all to often get stuck only on what our eyes can see right in front of us. If what you are focusing on is pulling your energy downward, you are potentially setting yourself up for ill health.
According to a study supported by the NIH, “Social Rejection Linked to Inflammation” which can be viewed online at MedPage Today (Click Here) there are some serious diseases associated with fear of rejection. The list is nothing to sneeze at: asthma, cardiovascular disease, depression and arthritis are named in the article.
Now here is a conclusion to think about – worrying about what others think of you, or fear of rejection is hazardous to your health. Yet, it is only hazardous if “thinking makes it so”. What do I mean? Just because someone rejects you, does not mean it has to matter to you. In fact, if you don’t mind, it does not matter!
This is the power of your thoughts, emotion (perception) and feelings. The same “fact”, that someone rejects you does not have to stir up negative emotion as you realize that their perception of you is just that –their perception. The negative feelings you have is harming your physiology and contributing to sickness. Acquiring years on the planet is not what is causing the disease.
It is HOW we manage our energy, our power, over time is what is creating all the ill health. Staying healthy is about waking up to this important and empowering idea. You have the power of “response – ability” to choose not to respond negatively. Here is the key: YOU must believe that you are good enough. YOU must believe that while you have “strengths and weaknesses” that there is no judgment for where you are.
You are where you are and everyone is doing the best that they are aware to do at the time. We are all in process, at different stages of growth. The need to judge self and others is just another conditioned behavior, like Pavlov’s dog, that keeps us stuck and playing small. When you start to love and accept yourself, recognizing yes, that here are behaviors and habits that no longer serve you and that it is good to grow and change, then you can do so easier and without the dread of being rejected for stepping out of your box.
I learned, the hard way, that fearing the opinions of others is a needless form of suffering. There can be many reasons that we fear other’s opinions, and here are three:
Staying healthy is not just about exercise and diet. In fact, breaking through fear is just as much about staying healthy as it is about personal growth. Why?
Fear, psychological fear is what I call Fictitious Evidence Affecting Reality, an acronym I created when I wrote my book,Empower Up and Play Big: Winning at Life from the Inside Out. When we focus on what we don’t want or want to avoid, it creates the stress response in our bodies.The brain and mind cannot tell the difference between facts in front of your eyes and mental movies in your mind with feelings attached.
I say “fictitious” because it is a story, it has not actually happened. It’s just your imagination running away and taking you to worry land. Negative self-talk has the same effect. If you think it is humble to beat yourself up, you are on the fast track to chronic health challenges.
Not to mention, damaging your self-image and confidence. One of the more ignorant socially conditioned beliefs we have is that putting ourselves down is admirable. It’s the old, “that’s just little ‘ole me”, and then we wonder why we feel so self-conscious and insecure when it comes to risk taking or speaking before a crowd.
Staying healthy is not just about going to the gym, eating right and taking vitamins. These things count, yet the root to health is actually mindset or the way you think and feel. If you live in fear or worry, which is actually faith for what you DON’T want, you are creating “dis-ease” in your body, and this will manifest as ill health in addition to the lack of ease, or lack of peace of mind.
How you feel does absolutely impact your health, and even if you try to deny and repress your feelings, if you are afraid to feel in repress your feelings, the “negative” energy will cause disease. This is the basis of stress. Stress is based in emotion; it is a psychological disease. What is stress?
Essentially it is provoke by fear that you are out of control, that those things in your life that you don’t want are coming and that you will not be able to be, do or have what you desire. Any of these things can provoke the survival response that releases chemicals in your body that are destructive.
Stress is now associated with everything from chronic colds to cancer. The good news is, that since it is based in perception and provoked by HOW you look at life, it can be reigned in and changed. CORE confidence, that comes from the inside out, comes from the inner Authentic Self of you, that part that is ultimately the source of personal power, wisdom and intuition that can lead you to a life that is empowered and fulfilling.
Empowerment and confidence is about choice. It’s about awareness at it’s foundation as if you are not aware that you have choice, you will not exercise your will and your will will become flabby.
While I think that we have natural gifts and talents and that we have a purpose that is unique to us, I believe that whether or not you live out your purpose or just your fate (meaning weaknesses, strengths, environmental and genetic tendencies) will be determined by how clear you are and how much courage you have. Courage and confidence does not mean you have no fear.
Fear is ubiquitous and is just a part of the human game. What will determine if you can feel the fearful feelings and proceed forward anyway is based upon how awake and aware you are about the options that you have. Do you believe you are “only human” or are you also tapping into your intuition and spiritual nature?
If not, you are weakening yourself and doing yourself a disservice. Are you are of how to consciously operate your own brain and mind? Or is it set on the default button of FEAR: Fictitious Evidence Affecting Reality? Either way, there is no judgment from me, I don’t think it’s “good or bad”.
The question is, do you want to live an abundant whole life or do you want to continue to play the role of the hapless victim and miss out on the incredible experience that you could have if you would choose to stop listening to the outer voices that keep you stuck, struggle and playing small.
You too can begin to Empower UP and Play Big when you learn how to get in touch with your CORE confidence from the Authentic YOU and learn how to operate the greatest “supercomputer” on the planet – your own brain and mind. Who do you think you are? It’s time to “Breakthrough to the Real YOU”! What do you think?
Staying healthy is more important than ever considering the rising rates of cancer and chronic disease in our world – not to mention the expense of healthcare and the emotional fallout. While I personally have healthy nutrition habits and exercise regularly, I do very little specific teaching on what supplements to take or what exercise routine one should be on.
I tend to come from the core of what makes us stay healthy or get sick – mindset. Yes, even disease is related to how you think and feel. In fact, it can make or break you and holistic/integrative physicians already get this.
When we become aware of the role of thoughts, feelings and emotions, we become even more empowered to make healthier choices and actually apply them in the first place. Also, intuitively doesn’t it just make sense that if you think and feel joyful and connected to life, you will feel and be healthier than if you are full of worry, judgment and anger?
In our changing times this information that I am sharing is critical. We are generally conditioned to fear change and by the time the “survival” instinct kicks in, we can find ourselves overwhelmed with worry and anxiety if we are not aware of how to deal with our own brain and nervous system. We think that we have a “right to our opinion” and we certainly do.
The question to ask is, what would you rather be, “right” or healthy? In fact, does it really even matter as to what other people are doing in the details of their life and why waste time looking over the fence into the lives of others? Does our opinion about what others are wearing, doing (particularly if it is legal and not harming others) or how they live their lives, really matter?
Will our opinion change them? Does complaining, worrying or gossiping really create the abundant, prosperous life that you desire? Actually, what I know for sure is that our opinions can be hazardous to not only our body’s health; if left unchecked, they can drain our entire lives. On the other hand, becoming consciously aware of the power of what we think and feel to attract the health and wealth we seek is the most economical and quickest way to achieve it, and this is science, not woo-woo.
Here is a powerful point: Every thought you have has a type of quality of feeling associated with it. When you send out negative opinions with negative feelings about others out into the universe, you ALWAYS feel it in your own body first. This should give new meaning to the ancient proverb: “Do unto to others as you would have others to do unto you”.
Healthcare is on many people’s minds these days. Unfortunately it is a heavy weight on most people’s minds as they are focused on worry, or actually “dis-ease” care when it comes to their health.
This is a part of the very problem we are faced with – worry and focus on disease. Your brain does not like stress; in fact it is toxic to brain cells and a health hazard in general. I believe that the financial pressure from our existing system will likely be the last straw that breaks the camel’s back.
I don’t care how much money is pumped into the system, until the waste stops and people change their paradigm, their belief system about HOW they think – about themselves, their bodies and life in general – the system is going to fail ultimately.
What do I mean by “how we think”? We focus on fear and what we don’t want without realizing that this is not only damaging our brains, it’s creating the very havoc we see in our lives. The hormones and processes that are released in your body when your worry and stress (both based in fear) can not only kill off brain cells, it can damage your heart, your immune system, your digestive tract and your musculoskeletal system…among other things.
Confidence is something that is invaluable in my life and business. I was an eye surgeon and entrepreneur for a long time, though confidence, true core confidence and a healthy self-image was not something that I actually possessed despite outward appearances.
