It takes confidence to go out and network with people to build your business. Remember that confidence nor courage mean the absence of fear; no, you can have “fear” and go ahead and do what you need to do anyway.
If networking is new for you, or a skill that you never took the time to develop with intention, like anything else that is new and involves putting yourself out there, it can be intimidating at first.
Remember that growth is often preceded by discomfort; however, it does not have to be painful. Excitement can be uncomfortable also, so it just depends on how you are focusing – focusing on fear or confidence?
Are you expecting the best from yourself and others or fearing rejection? Even rejection is a mindset issue. Rejection can actually be like “water off a duck’s back” as long as you don’t take it personally or tie your sense of self-worth to needing the approval from others.
It just depends on the story you tell yourself ABOUT yourself and the meaning you give to the word “no”. This all being said, our attitude about “rugged individualism” needs to be evolved and updated if you are going to succeed in this new environment we are all finding ourselves in.
I think it is great to have motivation to step out of our box and out of our comfort zone to build our confidence. It also illustrates why it is so important to understand that our beliefs and thoughts need to be flexible and fluid if we are to live to our highest levels of possibility.
Just because something use to work, does not mean it still will today. I like the motto, “I believe what I believe – until I change my mind”. Your behavior and beliefs are not “just the way you are” – no it’s just the way you are behaving or being due to your thinking and feeling, i.e. beliefs. You have permission to change – if you give it to yourself.
While I think our times dictate development of our individual self, our boundaries and talents, it is a paradigm that includes meeting our own needs to grow first, SO THAT we are healthier and self-fulfilled in our service to others. It is important to nurture and grow ourselves as we serve others; the day of the doormat is also over.
If you continue to be a doormat to the neglect of managing your own energy, you are risking the development of disease in your body. This may sound extreme, but it is very real when you understand the mind-body connection and health. It is important to authentically connect with others and develop relationships, not just call up people when you need something.
Empowerment and confidence is about choice. It’s about awareness at it’s foundation as if you are not aware that you have choice, you will not exercise your will and your will will become flabby.
While I think that we have natural gifts and talents and that we have a purpose that is unique to us, I believe that whether or not you live out your purpose or just your fate (meaning weaknesses, strengths, environmental and genetic tendencies) will be determined by how clear you are and how much courage you have. Courage and confidence does not mean you have no fear.
Fear is ubiquitous and is just a part of the human game. What will determine if you can feel the fearful feelings and proceed forward anyway is based upon how awake and aware you are about the options that you have. Do you believe you are “only human” or are you also tapping into your intuition and spiritual nature?
If not, you are weakening yourself and doing yourself a disservice. Are you are of how to consciously operate your own brain and mind? Or is it set on the default button of FEAR: Fictitious Evidence Affecting Reality? Either way, there is no judgment from me, I don’t think it’s “good or bad”.
The question is, do you want to live an abundant whole life or do you want to continue to play the role of the hapless victim and miss out on the incredible experience that you could have if you would choose to stop listening to the outer voices that keep you stuck, struggle and playing small.
You too can begin to Empower UP and Play Big when you learn how to get in touch with your CORE confidence from the Authentic YOU and learn how to operate the greatest “supercomputer” on the planet – your own brain and mind. Who do you think you are? It’s time to “Breakthrough to the Real YOU”! What do you think?
Self-image is one of those words that if you pay attention, stirs up a lot of discomfort for most women. When I talk about “low self-image”, it stirs up avoidance for many because it is one of those words that unconsciously triggers embarrassment because of the stories we connect to admitting it.
This can actually be a trap, because since we are so conditioned to reject ourselves, especially women, if we refuse to look at our feelings honestly we will never be able to release the stories about our self-image that are holding us back.
They are only stories, as there is really nothing “wrong” with you. What you think and what you do, is not the same as WHO you ARE. At our core, our Authentic Self is “powerful beyond measure”. Unfortunately, if we don’t peel away the “cataracts of the soul” as I like to call them, these stories, we will stay blinded to our true potential and we will tend to continue to believe that we can’t be as successful as we could be.
I am now free of the identity story that “something is wrong with me” or that I am not “good enough”. I suffered through life unnecessarily believing this for most of my adult life. Now that I’m free of it, it is much easier for me to change, take risks and have the confidence to throw off the opinions of others – just think about it a moment.
As women, we are bombarded with comparison of ourselves to other’s standard very early in our childhood and it only gets worse as adults. The media is constantly telling you to change something about yourself and it profits greatly off of our insecurities. Men of course, are not conditioned in these ways to reject themselves.
Just notice the ratio of the references to the image or self-esteem of men compared to women as it relates to the need to “improve” something and you will see implied deficiencies in women far, far exceed those made for men. What is self-image and why does it matter in business? We cannot rise above our self-image and stay there in peace.
Confidence is a key element to empowerment. If you can’t speak up, take risks or all too often buckle under the opinions of others, your gifts and talents will likely never reach authentic expression. Let me say that confidence from the core, authentic self is what I am referring to.
Not the “fake it ’till you make it” to whatever status you believe holds the magical key to empowerment. I’m referring to knowing that you know that the “real you” is already ok, just because you breathe. The starting point from this place is assuming that you are not broken, just in evolution, like the plant in the garden that is in the process of unfolding to its true beauty and potential.
We as a society tend to come from a mindset of lack and deficiency – the old paradigm of selfishness and “survival of the fittest”. This is just one way of seeing life; it is not the only way. We live in a world of infinite potential, and what determines how you experience “reality” is based on your perceptual system. How you wire your brain and nervous system really matters.
And get this; what runs your life is generally the 90% that is out of your awareness and comes from the unconscious part of your mind. So, why is self-love so important and why is it not ok to beat yourself up and put yourself down? Aren’t we taught that this is “humble”? Isn’t it “pride” to think good of yourself? Isn’t it “narcissistic”?
Narcissism stems from fear and is often rooted in insecurity. When you come from core confidence, you know that there is no need to compare yourself and judge worth and value between people. Yes, we vary in the expression of our gifts and talents, yet at our essence, the “founders” of our country had it correct when they said, “all men (and women) are created equal”.
When you come to know this Authentic Self, the essence of your very life force, you can begin to separate yourself from the “stories” of who you think you are that keep you stuck and playing small. These stories that you’ve wired into your mind and nervous system can be re-written when you are ready to accept the challenge. And it is much simpler than you may think.
Self-image and confidence is not to be taken lightly. You cannot really rise above, or at least stay above your self-image. In fact, your brain acts as a cybernetic mechanism, which is a fancy way of saying “thermostat”. Whatever is your set point tends to be your self-fulfilling prophecy.
If you have a low self-image, you tend to struggle more with confidence and fear of rejection. You are less likely to take risks, and I certainly can say that dealing with change will be frightening if you are afraid of going into the unknown.
Now I hear people say often, “a part of me feels like…” I say it myself at times. What most people do not realize is that these “parts” of us can run your life. If you believe the real you is this “part” or that you are your thoughts and memories, you will be a set up for the stories and dramas that you tell yourself are “just the way life is”.
Actually, our life experiences are a reflection of the way that we see ourselves.
“We don’t see things as they are; we see them as we are” ~Anais Nin
There’s science for this. You see there is no “out there”. What we see and how we see it has more to do with our perception. We are conditioned to believe that what we do is WHO we are. Actually your “part” that is feeling a certain way has more to do with the way that you wired your brain to think of yourself.
Empowerment for me is about being able to do, be or have what I consciously choose to experience in my life, including positively impacting my world. It’s about being able to create what I want instead of floundering or feeling like a hapless victim, waiting for the next wave of situations and circumstances to “make” me unhappy.
I figured out a long time ago that if I have to wait for someone else or some circumstance to make me happy, I would probably live and die first. So, I decided, to turn my focus, a long time ago, to finding the path that could take me to my destiny. I think that there is fate, and then there is destiny.
Our destiny is paved with love, joy and peace – regardless of outer circumstances. Our fate is what gets played out based on genetics, karma, childhood experiences and the hand-me-down knowledge that we use in our life without questioning it. My fate was not getting me what I wanted, in fact I did not feel very empowered to go in the directions of my dreams and certainly I did not see then how to make it a reality.
One thing I have discovered is that when there are blind spots in the way, even if someone hands you the treasure map, you still will fall into a ditch and not find the goods. This is what a WHOLE lot of people (I know from my own past personal experience as well), do every single day. Instead of using wisdom and courage to eliminate these blind spots, we somehow think that we can live on a whole new higher level and still keep our bad habits and low self-images running rampant through our minds.
I saw again a movie called “The Kid” with Bruce Willis. I first saw this movie ten years ago and I rented it to watch with my husband last week. This is a great movie to give you an example of how our wounded “inner child” can run our lives in so many ways.
Self-Esteem and its role in shaping your destiny should not be underestimated. The way you view yourself, from body image to sense of self-worth can determine whether or not you suffer through life or if you feel empowered enough to pursue your hearts desire or suffocate your creativity.
I read an article online where in New York, protesters marched outside of Ralph Lauren’s headquarters to bring attention to the continued media onslaught of distorted female body image using Photoshop and other digital photo-altering software. The president of NOW-NYC is quoted as saying,
“Starting at younger and younger ages eating disorders, low self-esteem, and a preoccupation with appearance plague women and girls. Ralph Lauren and the advertising industry are complicit in making real women feel less sexy and less beautiful than they really are.”
I have to agree. This is why I’m so adamant that confidence has to come from the inside out.
As long as your attention is snared by outside influences that attempt to keep you feeling inadequate about your own sense of value and self-worth, you will be a sitting duck for spending your money on every gadget and new “beauty product” or fashion statement that goes across the airways in advertising. I realized years ago that body image marketing disproportionately targeted women.
Also, being female and around women quite a bit over the years, I realized a long time ago that we generally have greater self-image problems and a lower sense of self-esteem than men. No doubt, the social images influence this outlook. While men tend to hide their low self-esteem with achievement or sports, historically (though this has shifted in recent years), women tended to seek approval from others, including men, to feel valuable.
I remember even being told growing up that if I was too smart, that I would have a difficult time finding a suitable husband! Thank goodness I did not buy in to that idiotic belief. My feelings were, somewhere on the planet, out of billions of people, there will be someone that I am compatible with should I so choose to marry. I was right.
The point is, we need to empower ourselves with the understanding that perception affects reality. Reality is relative based on what you believe to be true. Learning how to separate your sense of self-esteem from your thoughts about your self is powerful and is a function of learning to live more present and becoming aware of your thoughts and choices.
The more I consciously take my power back, the healthier my self-esteem becomes. Self-esteem that is authentic and stable truly comes from the inside out. Do you think that healthy self-esteem matters? Here is the Ralph Lauren article (click here).
It takes confidence to go out and network with people to build your business. Remember that confidence nor courage mean the absence of fear; no, you can have “fear” and go ahead and do what you need to do anyway.
Self-Esteem and its role in shaping your destiny should not be underestimated. The way you view yourself, from body image to sense of self-worth can determine whether or not you suffer through life or if you feel empowered enough to pursue your hearts desire or suffocate your creativity.
