Posts Tagged ‘Self-Esteem’
Tuesday, June 22nd, 2010
 Confidence is a key element to empowerment. If you can’t speak up, take risks or all too often buckle under the opinions of others, your gifts and talents will likely never reach authentic expression. Let me say that confidence from the core, authentic self is what I am referring to.
Not the “fake it ’till you make it” to whatever status you believe holds the magical key to empowerment. I’m referring to knowing that you know that the “real you” is already ok, just because you breathe. The starting point from this place is assuming that you are not broken, just in evolution, like the plant in the garden that is in the process of unfolding to its true beauty and potential.
We as a society tend to come from a mindset of lack and deficiency – the old paradigm of selfishness and “survival of the fittest”. This is just one way of seeing life; it is not the only way. We live in a world of infinite potential, and what determines how you experience “reality” is based on your perceptual system. How you wire your brain and nervous system really matters.
And get this; what runs your life is generally the 90% that is out of your awareness and comes from the unconscious part of your mind. So, why is self-love so important and why is it not ok to beat yourself up and put yourself down? Aren’t we taught that this is “humble”? Isn’t it “pride” to think good of yourself? Isn’t it “narcissistic”?
Narcissism stems from fear and is often rooted in insecurity. When you come from core confidence, you know that there is no need to compare yourself and judge worth and value between people. Yes, we vary in the expression of our gifts and talents, yet at our essence, the “founders” of our country had it correct when they said, “all men (and women) are created equal”.
When you come to know this Authentic Self, the essence of your very life force, you can begin to separate yourself from the “stories” of who you think you are that keep you stuck and playing small. These stories that you’ve wired into your mind and nervous system can be re-written when you are ready to accept the challenge. And it is much simpler than you may think.
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Tags: Confidence, Empowerment, Neuroscience, Self-Esteem, Self-Image, Self-Love
Posted in Confidence and Self-Esteem, Empowerment | No Comments »
Friday, June 18th, 2010
 Ego often gets a bum rap. I was happy to see the video of Dr. Jill Bolte-Taylor, author of “My Stroke of Insight”, (see her video at the end of this post) a while back as she exemplifies why we need an ego and why is not a good idea to try to “get rid” of it.
First of all, unless you want to damage the left hemisphere of your brain (which was her challenge when she had the stroke), you are going to have a sense of “identity” which is what the ego is. It is the mental construct of the “false self”.
Ego is imbedded within your personality. Within the word personality is “persona”, which means, “mask”. It is not the real you, it is what I call the “Mental Me”; the story of who you THINK you are. This is in opposition to the “Magnificent Me” that most people apparently are not aware of.
The Magnificent Me is the Authentic Self, the Real Deal, not the memory you hold of yourself based on genetics (karma if you are so inclined), environment and simply the illogical mind of the child you once were. Most of our sense of limited identity starts in early childhood, which is when we are most susceptible and predisposed to believing the opinions of others and making up the meaning of our experiences.
It is not what happens to you; it is HOW you interpret the facts of your experience that determines the meaning that is assigned. This is what perception is in a nutshell. This would explain why one person can experience an event as horribly traumatic while for another it may just be “water off a duck’s back”.
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Tags: Confidence, Ego, Neuroscience, Self-Esteem, Spirituality, women empowerment
Posted in Practical Spirituality | No Comments »
Tuesday, June 8th, 2010
 Happiness and peace of mind seems to be on many people’s minds. After all, happiness and peace of mind are two elements that make for a life well lived. The challenge though is being clear enough to stay focused on principles that allow us to avoid getting pulled into the trap of “common knowledge”.
Common knowledge is often simply hand-me-down opinions that have been accepted as “just the way life is”. There is not a way life is that is universally true. What determines how you see life is the filter that you see the facts around you through, known as perception.
Perception is the lens we interpret through and if your brain has been unwittingly wired, particularly at a young age, to see life as threatening, this viewpoint will color the way that you see the world.
I’ve come to call these filters that keep us from connecting with our Authentic Self, sense of power, wisdom and peace of mind as “cataracts of the soul”. We all have many gifts and talents that are unique and would make a positive difference in the world.
Yet, once we develop perceptions about the world around us, our brain and nervous system keep us focused on the people, places and circumstances to keep our established perceptual systems in place. This is often the reason why change is challenging and why we stay stuck. It is difficult to have happiness, health, wealth and great relationships when your filter says, age brings disease, money is hard to get and people cannot be trusted.
The answer is to re-educate yourself while at the same time learning systems and processes that allow you to release the old perceptual memory from your nervous system/body. You can then learn how to more easily rewire and retrain your brain.
A practical example of how this plays out in your life can be seen from an article I read today about an “Aha” moment that Jada Pinkett Smith had. In the article you will note that she says that she micromanaged everything because:
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Tags: Brain, Breakthrough Fear, Empowerment, Happiness, Self-Esteem, Women Confidence
Posted in Cataracts of the Soul-Fear, Happiness | No Comments »
Wednesday, June 2nd, 2010
 If confidence and self-esteem does not come from the inside out, we are bound to seek it from outside in. This is a never-ending bottomless pit. Who cares, you may ask. Why even concern yourself with confidence or self-esteem issues?
Well, for one thing, what the French author Anais Nin said many years ago is true:
“We don’t see things the way they are; we see them as we are”
You will not ever really rise above your own self-image. You may outwardly look pretty good, but inside, you won’t have peace of mind if you are always comparing your sense of self-worth, or even your material possessions to someone else.
This behavior often also impacts your attitude and the altitude that you rise to in life. You will always find someone who has more or less than you in some area. This is true whether the comparison is love, money, beauty or intelligence.
The answer is not in finding someone less than you to make you feel good about yourself. The answer is to learn how to love and accept yourself independent of the world around you. I had someone ask me recently in regard to her thoughts about feeling inadequate, “what if what they say is correct”?
Here’s my short answer. Everyone has their opinion and most of it is just a projection onto you of their own self-judgment. You see, what you do is not the same as who you are in your essence. What you do does reveal your character at the moment and it does reflect your level of consciousness, but consciousness shifts. What you do changes.
Even the roles you play changes. The external world is constantly shifting and changing. The key to personal power and peace of mind is to learn how to separate who you know you are from who you THINK you are.
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Tags: Confidence, Empowerment, Self-Esteem, Self-Mastery, Spirituality, women in business
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Monday, May 31st, 2010
 Being a woman entrepreneur and professional myself has given me a genuine hands on perspective of what it means to succeed in business and yet stay at the top of my game with my professional skills.
In my case, I was a practicing eye surgeon who right out of fellowship training took a corporate job for a couple of years, just long enough to get my practice up and running. After over two decades of owning and operating my practice (I had also acquired my mentor’s large practice when he retired), I sold it to do what I am doing now.
I help women entrepreneurs and professionals eliminate the blind spots that limit their self-image and constrict their vision for business success and it should be noted that the two are definitely linked.
In fact, how we see ourselves also constricts our relationships, including our ability to network effectively, how we dress, the opportunities and risks we are willing to expose ourselves to and even impacts our overall health in a huge way. I just came across an article in the small business section of the Wall Street Journal dated Monday, May 17, 2010 on What’s Holding Back Women Entrepreneurs? and I would recommend it for sure. Here are two highlights that the author, Sharon G. Hadary, sited as being the answer to this question and I quote:
1. First, you have women’s own self-limiting views of themselves, their businesses and the opportunities available to them.
2. But equally problematic are the stereotypes, perceptions and expectations of business and government leaders.
Now here’s what I know from my own personal experience; number one is more powerful than number two. When you deal with number one, you are far better equipped to deal with negativity from others.
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Tags: Confidence, Self-Esteem, women empowerment, women entrepreneurs, women in business
Posted in Money and Career | No Comments »
Wednesday, May 26th, 2010
 Self-esteem is essential to living free of external “busy bodies” that want to tell you have to live. It is very important to love and accept yourself if you want freedom of expression and to live out a high level of your potential gifts and talents.
As long as you are “looking for love in all the wrong places” you will not find it. You must first begin within and then you will see it “with out” – out there in the world. Now ego gets a bad rap and a lot of people who are seeking spiritual principles are inclined to think that they need to get rid of it.
Another challenge I see in people seeking spiritual awareness is that they tend to judge almost everything in sight! Well, one spiritual truth that has made all the difference in my world is learning to stop judging people, including myself – actually, especially myself.
As I’ve come to embrace the “shadow” parts of my ego, forgive myself and “upgrade” the beliefs around these parts of my self, I’ve become more compassionate and loving towards others. Judgment is a tool to show us where we need to develop compassion in ourselves, for others and ourselves.
It is not about condoning behavior; it is about transmuting it. It is about changing the energy around the beliefs about the behavior as a reflection of who you THINK you are. You see, what you do is NOT the same as WHO you are.
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Tags: Confidence, Ego, Empowerment, Happiness, Self-Esteem, Self-Mastery
Posted in Confidence and Self-Esteem, Practical Spirituality | No Comments »
Monday, May 24th, 2010
 Self-image and confidence is not to be taken lightly. You cannot really rise above, or at least stay above your self-image. In fact, your brain acts as a cybernetic mechanism, which is a fancy way of saying “thermostat”. Whatever is your set point tends to be your self-fulfilling prophecy.
If you have a low self-image, you tend to struggle more with confidence and fear of rejection. You are less likely to take risks, and I certainly can say that dealing with change will be frightening if you are afraid of going into the unknown.
Now I hear people say often, “a part of me feels like…” I say it myself at times. What most people do not realize is that these “parts” of us can run your life. If you believe the real you is this “part” or that you are your thoughts and memories, you will be a set up for the stories and dramas that you tell yourself are “just the way life is”.
Actually, our life experiences are a reflection of the way that we see ourselves.
“We don’t see things as they are; we see them as we are” ~Anais Nin
There’s science for this. You see there is no “out there”. What we see and how we see it has more to do with our perception. We are conditioned to believe that what we do is WHO we are. Actually your “part” that is feeling a certain way has more to do with the way that you wired your brain to think of yourself.
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Tags: Brain Research, Confidence, Empowerment, Self-Esteem, Self-Image
Posted in Brain, Confidence and Self-Esteem | No Comments »
Friday, May 21st, 2010
 Healthcare is on many people’s minds these days. Unfortunately it is a heavy weight on most people’s minds as they are focused on worry, or actually “dis-ease” care when it comes to their health.
This is a part of the very problem we are faced with – worry and focus on disease. Your brain does not like stress; in fact it is toxic to brain cells and a health hazard in general. I believe that the financial pressure from our existing system will likely be the last straw that breaks the camel’s back.
I don’t care how much money is pumped into the system, until the waste stops and people change their paradigm, their belief system about HOW they think – about themselves, their bodies and life in general – the system is going to fail ultimately.
What do I mean by “how we think”? We focus on fear and what we don’t want without realizing that this is not only damaging our brains, it’s creating the very havoc we see in our lives. The hormones and processes that are released in your body when your worry and stress (both based in fear) can not only kill off brain cells, it can damage your heart, your immune system, your digestive tract and your musculoskeletal system…among other things.
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Tags: Confidence, Empowerment, Meditation, Neuroscience, Self-Esteem, Stay Healthy
Posted in Brain, Staying Healthy | 5 Comments »
Thursday, May 20th, 2010
 Empowering behaviors and beliefs can seem paradoxical to us because for the most part, what we have been taught is actually contrary to leading a truly confident and empowered life.
What we learn is not only contrary; it’s often outright backwards. We think that how we think about ourselves is independent of how others think of us. In fact, we think that what others think about us is more significant than what we think about ourselves.
For example, from the time we are two, we are unconsciously taught to seek for love, security and self-esteem outside ourselves. This is where we first start “looking for love in all the wrong places”. We are taught that the opinions of others are more important than our own, and that our significance comes from our associations, titles and material possessions.
Considering that these are all external to our very Being, it is no wonder that we give our power away regularly. We even make the mistake of trying to “get” love from others when we don’t even give it to ourselves.
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Tags: Brain, Breakthrough Fear, Confidence, Ego, Empowerment, Self-Esteem
Posted in Brain, Empowerment | No Comments »
Tuesday, May 18th, 2010
 Empowerment is a frequent topic these days and I think it is reflective of where
we are in our evolutionary growth as humankind. It seems pretty obvious to me that people are looking for answers other than business as usual.
One thing for sure is that we cannot solve some of our current challenges by looking in our current memory toolbox of how to solve problems. The consciousness or “mindset” that that got us here will not be the same ways of thinking that help us to change the world.
I don’t equate change with “bad”. Why not just see things as evolving to the next level, especially when it comes to individual growth? Now here’s the dilemma – the Universe is still expanding and unfolding, yet, because of the way that we have as a whole conditioned our brain we tend to fear change.
We are still “unfolding” just as the Universe is. While there is more to us than meets the eye, meaning at our core we have a spiritual essence, a “True Self”, we still live and experience life as human beings living in a physical body.
Without this body, you cannot effect change or be alive as we generally think of it relating to being on the earth. So, while I’ve heard the saying “we are spiritual beings having a human experiences”, we need to learn how to skillfully live into both aspects of our natures.
We need to become aware of how to manage our human body’s sensory/perception system – the brain and mind. Otherwise you can be so “heavenly bound that you are no earthly good”. Enter Neuroscience.
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Tags: Brain Research, Breakthrough Fear, Changing Times, Confidence, Empowerment, Self-Esteem
Posted in Brain, Empowerment | 2 Comments »
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Confidence is a key element to empowerment. If you can’t speak up, take risks or all too often buckle under the opinions of others, your gifts and talents will likely never reach authentic expression. Let me say that confidence from the core, authentic self is what I am referring to.
