Core confidence, coming from an inner place of authenticity by default will cultivate a healthy sense of self-esteem. Let’s get clear here: self-esteem as I define it is not narcissism and is essential to personal power and a secure self-image.
If you buy into the idea that putting yourself down is “humble” or that what others say about you defines who you are and determines your level of confidence, you cannot live an empowered life.
Haven’t you noticed how fickle people can be? They can love you one moment and vilify you the next. This is because what they think about you really isn’t about YOU. It’s about how they see life and how you fit into their paradigm of “reality”. Reality is relative and as Albert Einstein said:
“Reality is an illusion; albeit a very persistent one”
It’s an illusion because your view of the world seems real and “right” to you – because your nervous system serves to keep you feeling as safe and as “right” as possible. To the degree that you are aware that who the “real” you are, the essence, the “consciousness” that you are is not the same as what you think, you can run your life by conscious choice.
The minute we think that we are our thoughts or that what other people think about us is the “truth”, we are setting ourselves up for a life filled with fear, struggle and overwhelm. It is very difficult to feel confident and like yourself if you base it on what the media says about what is “beautiful” (seems to change with the weather) or if you are afraid to make a mistake and beat yourself up constantly.
How will you learn anything new of substance if you are fearful of falling down? Trial and error comes with the territory of growth. It’s just a matter of practice. Of course confidence grows with experience. Confidence does not mean you won’t have fear; it is just the ability to feel the fear and go ahead and do what you want to do anyway.
Inner peace is just that – peace inside. So why do we all to often go searching for it in external “things” and relationships? I fell into this trap for many years and I have finally come to experience and see that this is not the path to peace.
