Confidence from my point of view is about letting go of the stories that block the light and power that you already are. It is about, as Robert Browning said:
“There is an inmost center in us all, where truth abides in fullness;….and, to know, rather consists in opening out a way where the imprisoned splendor may escape, then in effecting entry for a light supposed to be without.”
We’ve had it backwards for so long. From the time we were children, we have been conditioned, via ignorance, to look for our security, love and self-esteem outside of ourselves. We look around the landscape and compare our worth relative to others, based on external values of gender, race, culture, class and even clothing.
These are all just judgments made from a wounded ego, the storytelling part of the brain. These are the way of victim consciousness and it is totally disempowering. The confidence that I speak of comes from “core confidence” which is an inside job.
I can sense though intuitively and from listening to others that these changing times of ours are shifting this tide. I have a sense that there is a sense of restlessness. A growing number of people are looking for some new answers to some old questions such as:
The time for empowerment for women – the world actually – is now. Can you sense that the energy in our world is changing? Things are not the same.
I think this is a good thing as I see room for growth and improvement in our society and in the way we treat others, the planet and ourselves in general. It is also time to integrate our power and stop breaking ourselves into different “parts” some which are less important than others and creating a sense of insufficiency and lack regarding our own worth or belittling the value that we place on our own gifts and talents.
Now, instead of focusing on what is “wrong” it is time to take your power back and learn how to get to where you want to go. As long as you stay focused on fear and what is wrong, your brain will help you to stay there. You see, what you focus on expands and what you resist persists.
This is just the way your mind and body work. Your brain does not judge your choices per se, it only brings to you, like a missile seeking machine, that which you truly expect and believe.
Also, we have been conditioned to only use our intellect that is operating only 10% of what runs our daily lives. You see, most of what runs our day-to-day operations is unconscious. We just don’t know what we don’t know and what we think is true, in general is based in lack thinking, competition and “survival of the fittest”.
Staying healthy begins with how you think, feel and act. The blueprint for staying healthy starts with mindset. If you focus on disease, “Dis-Ease”, you will create chemical reactions in your body that will incline you toward chronic disease and stress. If you focus on fear, and what you don’t want, you are more likely to get this – what you DON’T want.
This is because your nervous system tries to assist you by helping you to focus on and “find” whatever you keep your attention on – it does not judge whether is it good for you or not. Learn how to train your brain to focus and find what you want and breakthrough the fears that are robbing you of good health, including stress. Good health starts from the inside out! Have you noticed what you focus on expands? What do you think?
Core confidence, coming from an inner place of authenticity by default will cultivate a healthy sense of self-esteem. Let’s get clear here: self-esteem as I define it is not narcissism and is essential to personal power and a secure self-image.
If you buy into the idea that putting yourself down is “humble” or that what others say about you defines who you are and determines your level of confidence, you cannot live an empowered life.
Haven’t you noticed how fickle people can be? They can love you one moment and vilify you the next. This is because what they think about you really isn’t about YOU. It’s about how they see life and how you fit into their paradigm of “reality”. Reality is relative and as Albert Einstein said:
“Reality is an illusion; albeit a very persistent one”
It’s an illusion because your view of the world seems real and “right” to you – because your nervous system serves to keep you feeling as safe and as “right” as possible. To the degree that you are aware that who the “real” you are, the essence, the “consciousness” that you are is not the same as what you think, you can run your life by conscious choice.
The minute we think that we are our thoughts or that what other people think about us is the “truth”, we are setting ourselves up for a life filled with fear, struggle and overwhelm. It is very difficult to feel confident and like yourself if you base it on what the media says about what is “beautiful” (seems to change with the weather) or if you are afraid to make a mistake and beat yourself up constantly.
How will you learn anything new of substance if you are fearful of falling down? Trial and error comes with the territory of growth. It’s just a matter of practice. Of course confidence grows with experience. Confidence does not mean you won’t have fear; it is just the ability to feel the fear and go ahead and do what you want to do anyway.
Happiness and peace of mind is not something that will be found outside of you on any long-term basis. All of the rapid change and commotion that is going on in the world today is a reminder of this.
If my inner happiness were based on controlling the events that occur around me, I’d be in trouble right now. Yet, even in the midst of the outer instability in the world as reported by the media, I feel more grounded and less fearful than at anytime before in my life – why? For one thing, I’m learning the real power of mindset.
Empowerment seems to be a developing buzzword these days. I think people are starting to realize that there is more to life than stress and struggle and they want to do something about the status quo other than whine and complain about it.
I’m all for it as truth be told, talking about what is wrong all day long only makes things worse – or at least feel worse. This is because what you focus on expands and your words and language matter.
This is true also when you speak your words powerfully. When you speak in terms of what you want and imagine what you can do, be or have, you are just as likely to feel good and excited and achieve your goals as when you do the opposite. Think about it; when was the last time you saw someone who was chronically negative, do anything of significance that attracted abundance and happiness?
Those that walk around in a funk complaining about the sky falling down are not very likely to notice opportunities all around them or to take action to move toward success. They are too overcome by fear, their story about how bad life is.
Well, even the words “self-improvement”, though innocent I’m sure, are not the best way to focus your attention if you want to start making some upward bound quantum leaps in your life. Here’s why.
It’s the word “improvement”. It implies that there must be something “wrong” with you right now. I have an “aha” that has really shifted my perception. It is not “improvement” so much as it is “growth” or unfolding.
Why does a “weakness” have to be “bad”? It’s because we are geared to be critical and judgmental and look for the worse, to look for “flaws” in others and ourselves. I’m not advocating that we ignore our weak areas, no; I’m saying that wisdom dictates that we shift only our perception of how we interpret them.
Core Confidence is about finding your own inner voice and living your authentic life. You are unique and special, and there is no one else with your fingerprint or exact set of gifts, talents and character traits.
Then why are we so often comparing ourselves to the next person? Why are we so afraid to stand out, stand up and do what is important to us and near and dear to our soul? As a quote usually credited to Dr. Seuss says:
“Those that mind don’t matter, those that matter don’t mind”
It’s time to be authentic and stop worrying what others think – does it matter?
Confidence from my point of view is about letting go of the stories that block the light and power that you already are. It is about, as Robert Browning said:
