There is too often a disconnect between how we really feel and what we do, or what we say. We talk about “pursuit of happiness” yet, when we or others attempt to come from an inner place of authenticity, if it does not fit inside of a narrow little box, there is not uncommonly, shame, guilt or blame heaped upon the one who finds a little courage to venture outside the “accepted” behavior for the group they currently associate with.

Well, I think it’s time to talk about how these dynamic impacts in a negative way everything from your health and aging, to whether or not you die with your joy and happiness locked deep inside of you. Over the many years I spent practicing medicine, I found that the people who were happiest, healthier and had the happier relationships tended to be open-minded, less concerned about what others thought of them and more likely to have a sense of humor or playfulness.

When we think that acting like an “adult” means that we have to be “serious”, or that to be successful we have to “work hard” or that health comes from focusing on avoiding being sick – we disempower ourselves in all of these areas. These are just common myths, common beliefs.

Just because a lot of people see life this way, does not mean that it is the best way, and certainly not the only way. As you may recall, the majority at one time also thought that the world was flat. What I have found is that, while there are principles or “secrets of the universe” that when followed work no matter what culture, century or educational level you apply them to, most of the stuff we believe is just a bunch of hand-me-down beliefs that may no longer apply to the current times or be in your best interest.

For example, happiness is not something that can really be obtained outside of you for any significant time. Haven’t you noticed how transient our feelings can be when tied to some person, place or thing? Or how about working hard – why can’t we be successful without all of the “sacrifice” and struggle? Of course we can, but if you only see life this way – this is the way that your nervous system will cause you to focus to “make you right”.

In fact, if your success comes easy, if you have this belief of hard work and struggle, you may sabotage yourself just because you feel guilty about life being so abundant for you. Hopefully, you get the point – much of the way we look at life is making our experience hard and full of struggle not because it has to be this way, as much as it is because this is the way we expect it to be.

You do have the right to change your mind. In fact, that is the only way you can let new, more empowering information in.

Here are 3 simple ways that you can switch your paradigm to one that is more likely to give you results tending toward more health and happiness and I use them all and they are working for me. Let me make it clear that I use to also believe, very much so, that life was hard and that success took much struggle and preventative health meant, “avoiding disease”.

For Mind Health:

1. Make it your business to escape the trap of all work and no play -
examples:

Get uncomfortable and play at the beach, get messy and wet in the sand, join a group that sets an intention to go on “play dates”, watch funny movies, this could be a long list. Let your imagination and “inner kid” come back to life. This is the best way to “anti-age” yourself. The point is, stress is a killer, accounting for as much as 90% of all visits to primary care doctors. When you play and relax, you counteract the cascade of the stress response which damages your brain cells, – literally.

For Body Health:

2. Of course, exercise and plenty or rest, but also some less often realized ideas include focusing on health and instead of fearing that you will be the next cancer victim. Worry actually weakens your immune system. Well, guess what? A weakened immune system makes you more susceptible to cancer and other diseases. Hence, the fear that you have is making you more likely to experience the very thing you want to avoid.

Your brain and mind cannot tell the difference between something vividly imagined and something really happening. You may just be scaring yourself to death with all of your fear of having a disease.

For Spirit:

3. Spirit is not the same as “religious” though some people do use the term interchangeably. Happiness is generally a response to something we want. The key to peace of mind and joy though is to either desire without “needing” and wanting to control or hold on. It has been so empowering for me to realize that I cannot micromanage the Universe and it is futile to try. It is also better for my health and mind. It just makes for much resistance and unhappiness and blocks the joy that can only come from within. Joy/happiness that is lasting is coming from our core, our spirit and looking for it outside ourselves is looking for it in “all the wrong places”. The belief that you can “be happy when _________ is one of the most common self-sabotaging myths going. Let it go.

These are three real and lasting yet uncommon ways to empower up from the inside out. Notice that they all overlap in many ways, as our mind, emotions, body and spirit are one – all interconnected and until we start to bring these pieces of ourselves into a whole unit, we are not very likely to find the joy, abundance and peace of mind that a truly empowered life can bring. Do you have any other ideas to add?

Emotion is something that is in your best interest to get acquainted with and stop fearing. Considering that emotions carries 5,000 times more magnetic energy than thought alone (visit HeartMath.org for more info), it is nothing to play around with and ignore if you want to optimize your health – mentally as well as physically.

Emotions play a major role in the state of your health. For example, hypertension is “life under pressure” or high tension. Stress, which is attributed to be the underlying reason for 75-90% of all primary care visits, is an emotional disease. When you feel stress, you are triggering the fear response in your body and it is typically psychological, as we don’t often have physical threat on a daily basis.

Today it snowed again in Chicago, and I could either whine and complain about it, and feel helpless to change it, or I could intend to find the beauty in it, which is what I consciously choose to do. This is always a choice. The challenge is slowing down enough to become aware of your thought pattern and then reset your default dial.

If you have a habit of focusing on what you do not like, you will raise your risk of all sorts of chronic disease. This is also why I choose not to believe in a “cold and flu season”. What is that? Last I checked there were only four seasons, winter spring, summer and fall. Every since I stopped believing in and expecting a season to catch cold, I very rarely even have one.

When I sneeze, I assume something it just irritating my nose and my reaction is just getting rid of it. I never think, “I’m catchin’ a cold”. Perhaps that is why I don’t. If I run myself down and weaken my immune system, granted, I will be more susceptible, but even then there is no guarantee.

Our bodies are amazing at self-healing, especially when we cooperate with them by directing our minds and feelings on things to appreciate and be grateful for. Feel your body the next time you are complaining and resisting what you cannot change. Then take a deep breath and relax, and focus on something that makes you smile, that is beautiful or that you appreciate and see how you feel.

The relaxation response goes a long way toward healing and health. Make emotions your friend and learn how to manage them. Your body will love you for it! Have you ever thought about the connection between how you feel and how you heal? Or your health?

When one is overwhelmed, she or he is not feeling very empowered. Feeling stress then is to feel disempowered. Now this is certainly not something that is in our best interest. When you are stressed, you are feeling threatened and this is a mind/brain response whether the perceived threat is real, meaning physical threat or psychological.

If your life is in danger, the stress response can help you to run faster, fight stronger or, for better or for worse – freeze. Other than physical escape, the response can interfere with your performance.

If you were meeting a deadline, enthusiasm or excitement would serve you better than getting yourself all worked up about last minute preparedness. The main thing to consider about stress is to understand that it is also very dangerous to your health.

Sure, overwhelm is unpleasant, but that is the least of your concern when it comes to stress. Consider the following facts about stress:

1. Stress weakens your immune system, increasing your likelihood of contracting disease

2. Stress has even been associated with creating susceptibility to cancer

3. Stress reduces your cognitive ability – it can cause you to make “stupid” decisions

4. Chronic elevation of stress hormones can cause weight gain

5. Increases your risk of heart attack and stroke

6. Is toxic to brain cells and memory

7. Increases muscle tension and stiffness leading to an inflexible body

The list could easily go on. You get the point. It is not to be taken lightly. One of the best things you can do for stress and more peace of mind is to start taking your brain to the “mindfulness gym” to re-wire and retrain it to break the stress cycle, which is essentially a habitual response.

Mindfulness meditation is like hygiene for the brain. Also, aerobic exercise and staying hydrated with pure, clean water goes a long way as well. There are several other things you can do as well.  I will cover these at other times here on my blog.

For inner peace and better health overall, I highly recommend the mindfulness practices. Aren’t love, joy and peace what we are really after? When these feelings are our starting point, health, wealth and happy relationships are a natural consequence.

Worry and stress are destructive. Learning to relax is more than just a nice idea. It could save your life!

When we as a society stop conditioning ourselves to run and hide from feelings and emotions, we will really reform health care. In fact, it can finally move from disease care to real health maintenance. Just look at the word “disease”. You can break it down to “dis – ease, or “not at ease”.

This is the source of most of our disease. Stress is a sensation of overwhelm, and when we live in our heads to the neglect of our hearts and bodies, it’s no wonder heart disease and stiff bodies start to develop over time. It is not age that is doing it; it is the fact that negatively charged emotions that have been repressed over time takes its toll.

These emotions are hiding out in the body at a cellular level for sure and I believe also in the bio-energetic fields of the body. When I started facing my feelings and learning how to change the way I thought about emotions and feelings, I really became empowered to change my life.

We are conditioned to repress our feelings and emotions. The problem is, when you keep repressing them, they only re-circulate and “build up steam” within your body. For example high blood pressure, or hypertension is really just “life under pressure”.

Of course, if you keep pushing the lid down on your emotional body, when you do occasionally release it, it feels scary and overwhelming. I used to be terrified of negative feelings. I’ve learned though that this is all illusion and that I did not blow up once I retrained my brain to stop fearing feelings and live within (embody) my body instead of living in my head. Stop right now and notice your feet. Feel your legs.  “Being in your body” brings more energy into your body which raises health and vitality.  Your energy flows where your attention goes.

Most of us walk around numb all day and are too busy to notice how we are feeling. After accumulating years of negative emotions, we start to avoid even wanting to feel our body or stay in present awareness because we don’t want to deal with pain. Well, I learned its pay now or pay later.

Since I started facing my fear about running from feelings and emotions, I no longer am afraid and I discovered it was yet another childhood “boogeyman under the bed”, a fear all in my head. I’ve learned how to release old emotional memory energy from my body, and gratefully I can say I am a very healthy person.

In fact, the more I learn about energy and the role of mind and emotion on our bodies, I’ve been able to heal issues that use to bother me when I was “emotionally blocked”. My body is even more healthy and flexible now.

Emotional blocks are like the cataracts that I used to remove when I was a practicing eye surgeon. They block the light that allows you to see your vision for your life clearly.

Not clear about where you are going and why? Not feeling passionate about life anymore? Consider healing the blind spots of emotional blockages and you can, as I did, start to shine the light on your energy drainers and raise your level of health and vitality.