Staying healthy and stress seems to be on a lot of people’s minds lately. I came across an article just today that referred to the new study done by Dr. Anil Sood and others in the Journal of Clinical Investigation, that demonstrates that when experiencing stress, mice and humans had acceleration in the growth of cancer cells, in this case, ovarian.
The bottom line – stress is hazardous to your health. Many people do not realize that the chronic feelings of “overwhelm” that they feel – you know, not enough hours in the day, long “to-do” lists and not enough rest and sleep – is really what stress is.
It is the feeling that you cannot control what is happening to you and it is also the fear that you are under threat of some kind, be it job loss and even feelings of insecurity. Yes, it has also been shown that low self-esteem can trigger this stress response in your body. So, is stress something that “you cannot help”?
Do you believe that if your environment where different that then and only then, you can overcome overwhelm? If you believe this, you are like most people. I used to buy into this one back in the 1990’s. It was then that I first experientially realized that stress starts within, it is an inside issue.
It is not the “facts” that cause stress. It is not the things that are happening around you as much as it is the “fiction”, the story about the meaning of the facts. It is about where you are putting your focus and whether or not you are taking care of your mind and body – from the inside out.
The time for empowerment for women – the world actually – is now. Can you sense that the energy in our world is changing? Things are not the same.
I think this is a good thing as I see room for growth and improvement in our society and in the way we treat others, the planet and ourselves in general. It is also time to integrate our power and stop breaking ourselves into different “parts” some which are less important than others and creating a sense of insufficiency and lack regarding our own worth or belittling the value that we place on our own gifts and talents.
Now, instead of focusing on what is “wrong” it is time to take your power back and learn how to get to where you want to go. As long as you stay focused on fear and what is wrong, your brain will help you to stay there. You see, what you focus on expands and what you resist persists.
This is just the way your mind and body work. Your brain does not judge your choices per se, it only brings to you, like a missile seeking machine, that which you truly expect and believe.
Also, we have been conditioned to only use our intellect that is operating only 10% of what runs our daily lives. You see, most of what runs our day-to-day operations is unconscious. We just don’t know what we don’t know and what we think is true, in general is based in lack thinking, competition and “survival of the fittest”.
Career transition and the world, as we know it is changing right before our eyes. This can be a scary proposition if you come from a place of fear and hold on to the belief system that change is a “bad” thing.
Stop and think about it a moment. Change is the one thing that is guaranteed in life and if you resist it, it is like trying to stop a Mack truck by refusing to get out of it’s way. You WILL be smashed! Now the other alternative is to accept the inevitable and proactively learn how to revamp the way that you have been conditioned to see life.
The old way was that by the time we are about 18-21 years of age, just out of childhood, we are suppose to figure out our life path for the rest of our lives and not deviate – even if the ladder is against the “wrong” wall or if we’ve outgrown it. This is the path to pain and suffering and it is why so many people hate Monday morning and sing, “thank God it’s Friday” at the end of the week.
What a sad and miserable way to live. It doesn’t have to be this way. I believe that many, many people know that they are stuck and want to move on, yet they are fearful of change for many reasons. Some are the reasons are:
1. What will “they” think if I change my mind?
2. How will I do it?
3. What do I want?
4. Life is suppose to be like _________ (control)
5. I’m not good enough to ____________
All of these examples are based in FEAR. Not the fear of physical threat; this is psychological – Fictitious Evidence Affecting Reality. I say fictitious as while the facts may be unsettling, it’s your story about the facts that will make or break you. Two examples from my life:
Staying healthy is the goal of most people. As I look at our healthcare system, it has never been as important as it is today to be proactive in staying healthy.
Between the expense healthcare and medication, the threat to your financial stability and the questionable “scientific” data that supports that taking a million, kazillion (I know this is not a valid term) drugs is acceptable, I’d say one had better do everything possible to maintain their health as naturally and as cost effectively as possible.
Did you know that there is a definite mind-body connection and that stress is related to the reason for 75-90% of all primary care visits to physicians? Actually, I could have told you this without any fancy statistics.
It just plain makes intuitive sense. When you are angry and upset, notice how your body feels. Notice how much more difficult it is to concentrate. Then notice how you feel when you are joyful and happy.
In fact, have your blood pressure checked as you blow a fuse. Have it checked when you are in a relaxed state. It is likely that it will be high with anger and normal to low when relaxed. A relaxed state is a healthy state. I want to pick on worry in this blog post today though, because it is so epidemic.
I had the clerk in my neighborhood grocery store yesterday, tell me in definite “I will not change my mind terms” that there were “no jobs” available for her son to obtain in all of the United States, and that he would have to leave the country to find a job in his field.
Unless he made horse and buggies or telegraph/typewriters, – you know, something we don’t even use anymore – I doubt that her statement is true.
Yet, she obviously looked worry and upset as I discerned her energy and noticed the contorted expression on her face. I’m going to give you 7 reasons why you don’t want to go there. Worry is essentially faith for what you DON’T want. Simple as that.
It hasn’t happened, the person is just imagining it to be happening or is expecting (faith) that it will happen. Why not expect the best? Or at least remain neutral. In a nutshell, people generally worry because we are conditioned to do so.
As a world, we have so trained our brain to live in fear and expecting the next disaster that our nervous system is always on alert to “fight, flight or freeze”. This is what the stress response is.
Core confidence is the key to breaking the never-ending cycle of not being “good enough”. As you know “good enough” is relative so how could you ever make this determination as a way to being?
It is so connected to “doing” that you will always have something else to, well, do. Basing your confidence and self-esteem on what you accomplish, your job title or how much money you make is a bottomless pit – here today, gone tomorrow.
Do you want to continue to live like this? I think not. The way to peace of mind and true success and abundance is to get to the core of the matter. That’s why I speak about “core confidence” as the only type of authentic confidence to be uncovered.
Notice I said “uncovered”. This place of inner power is already there. It’s a place of inner knowing of courage that comes from the inside out. It takes courage to turn your attention away from seeking outside of yourself – including seeking love, security and self-esteem.
We are so conditioned from the time we are very young children to go after these human needs outside of ourselves and this will impact your level of achievement in every area of your life, including business, relationships and health. Why? Because mindset is at the root of all of the actions you take.
Perception forms your mindset and mindset forms your perception. It is a feedback loop. Until we understand that HOW you think is the foundation to what actions you take and what opportunities you can perceive to take advantage of, we cannot be effective or come from our highest potential.
It was not until I discovered how to root out the stories of not good enough, not enough, or not worthy that I could finally come from a place that get more and more unshakable every year.
Here’s a key tip: YOU are not your thoughts. As shocking as that may be to some people, what you think is not the same as who you are. Brain science can demonstrate this beautifully and it’s time to shift your paradigm.
Video Blog Post: There is a science to learning how to deal with change so that you are able to go from where you are to where you want to be without all the fear and struggle that affects most people. It is all begins with mindset.
Self-esteem and self-image make a huge difference in the level of success you can have not only in your business, but it will affect relationships and even health. There have actually been studies that show that low self-esteem lowers your health, as for one thing, it impacts your susceptibility to stress and ineffective self-care.
If we try to go after love by taking care of everyone else but ourselves, we ultimately will not even be as effective in caring for those we love. We as women are also setting an example for our daughters. I have a 17 year-old daughter, and I have seen how the impact of media and peer pressure can cause wear and tear on the psych.
It has been my awareness of the importance of making it a point to develop self-esteem and keep a positive self-image that has spared my daughter all types of emotional drama that I see some of her peers going through. In fact my daughter is often mentoring her friends on getting through their challenges on self-esteem issues and on more than one occasion has told me how grateful she is for the information that I share with her.
We live in a community that has recognized that there is a problem with competition, materialism, and perfectionism. All three of these issues are directly related to an issue with low self-esteem and trying to hide feelings of insecurity. Often trying to find security, love and self-esteem creates that type of messy experience in not only teen-aged girls, but also throughout the lives of grown women.
I see these challenges in my peers all the time. So, what is a major source of this low self-esteem? It’s actually negative self-talk. That’s right, we have found the “enemy” and that enemy is the “Mental Me”. It is the voice in our head that is critical and always comparing and judging.
It is also the voice that may have come from external “mean girls” that we encountered early in life. I managed to avoid a lot of external mean girl voices, as I grew up in an environment that cultivated my aggressive side, so most girls did not mess with me. However, I was my worse critic.
Career and business success depends on this question: Who do you think you are? Often this question is asked with an attitude, as in “you must think you’re somebody”. Well, yes, I do, and you should too.
Not only are you “somebody” you are unique, special and it’s time to stop playing small and letting the world around you define you. Since the default setting for the mindset of the world is so constricted, and limited, focused far more on lack than on abundance, if you plug into this viewpoint – you are bound for lack and struggle right out the gate.
In these times of change and flux, you had better get a grip on your mindset and learn to consciously manage yourself or you will be in for a heck of a bumpy journey. I used to be so worried about the opinions of others and micromanaging life that I was stressing myself out and creating unnecessary drama.
Like most people, I operated my mindset out of a worldview of fear. Well fear, unless it is due to truly life-threatening circumstances, is really only “Fictitious Evidence Affecting Reality”. It is psychological. This acronym that I created when I wrote my book “Empower Up and Play Big”, is based in neuroscience. Even many years ago, Albert Einstein said:
“Reality is an illusion; albeit a very persistent one”
Reality is an illusion in that it is not “the way it is”. It is relative, based on one’s perceptual system, the way we wire our visual system, our brain and nervous system. We first wire, then we continue to find the evidence from the “facts”, (our nervous system is masterful at this without our awareness) the events and information of the material world around us, and we create our own “story” based on our view of life.
Core confidence, coming from an inner place of authenticity by default will cultivate a healthy sense of self-esteem. Let’s get clear here: self-esteem as I define it is not narcissism and is essential to personal power and a secure self-image.
If you buy into the idea that putting yourself down is “humble” or that what others say about you defines who you are and determines your level of confidence, you cannot live an empowered life.
Haven’t you noticed how fickle people can be? They can love you one moment and vilify you the next. This is because what they think about you really isn’t about YOU. It’s about how they see life and how you fit into their paradigm of “reality”. Reality is relative and as Albert Einstein said:
“Reality is an illusion; albeit a very persistent one”
It’s an illusion because your view of the world seems real and “right” to you – because your nervous system serves to keep you feeling as safe and as “right” as possible. To the degree that you are aware that who the “real” you are, the essence, the “consciousness” that you are is not the same as what you think, you can run your life by conscious choice.
The minute we think that we are our thoughts or that what other people think about us is the “truth”, we are setting ourselves up for a life filled with fear, struggle and overwhelm. It is very difficult to feel confident and like yourself if you base it on what the media says about what is “beautiful” (seems to change with the weather) or if you are afraid to make a mistake and beat yourself up constantly.
How will you learn anything new of substance if you are fearful of falling down? Trial and error comes with the territory of growth. It’s just a matter of practice. Of course confidence grows with experience. Confidence does not mean you won’t have fear; it is just the ability to feel the fear and go ahead and do what you want to do anyway.
Happiness and peace of mind is not something that will be found outside of you on any long-term basis. All of the rapid change and commotion that is going on in the world today is a reminder of this.
If my inner happiness were based on controlling the events that occur around me, I’d be in trouble right now. Yet, even in the midst of the outer instability in the world as reported by the media, I feel more grounded and less fearful than at anytime before in my life – why? For one thing, I’m learning the real power of mindset.
Staying healthy and stress seems to be on a lot of people’s minds lately. I came across an article just today that referred to the new study done by Dr. Anil Sood and others in the Journal of Clinical Investigation, that demonstrates that when experiencing stress, mice and humans had acceleration in the growth of cancer cells, in this case, ovarian.
