<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?>
<rss version="2.0"
	xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/"
	xmlns:wfw="http://wellformedweb.org/CommentAPI/"
	xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/"
	xmlns:atom="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom"
	xmlns:sy="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/syndication/"
	xmlns:slash="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/slash/"
	>

<channel>
	<title>The Confidence Doc &#187; Confidence</title>
	<atom:link href="http://www.valenciaray.com/theconfidencedocblog/tag/confidence/feed/" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml" />
	<link>http://www.valenciaray.com/theconfidencedocblog</link>
	<description>Weblog of Valencia Ray MD</description>
	<lastBuildDate>Thu, 29 Jul 2010 19:55:47 +0000</lastBuildDate>
	<language>en</language>
	<sy:updatePeriod>hourly</sy:updatePeriod>
	<sy:updateFrequency>1</sy:updateFrequency>
	<generator>http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0</generator>
		<item>
		<title>Confidence and Networking: Have You Noticed Yet that the Sun Has Set on the Lone Ranger?</title>
		<link>http://www.valenciaray.com/theconfidencedocblog/confidence-and-networking-have-you-noticed-yet-that-the-sun-has-set-on-the-lone-ranger/</link>
		<comments>http://www.valenciaray.com/theconfidencedocblog/confidence-and-networking-have-you-noticed-yet-that-the-sun-has-set-on-the-lone-ranger/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 26 Jul 2010 19:13:21 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Valencia Ray MD</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Confidence and Self-Esteem]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Money and Career]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Breakthrough Fear]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Confidence]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Networking]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Self-Image]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Women and Empowerment]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[women in business]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.valenciaray.com/theconfidencedocblog/?p=815</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[It takes confidence to go out and network with people to build your business. Remember that confidence nor courage mean the absence of fear; no, you can have “fear” and go ahead and do what you need to do anyway. If networking is new for you, or a skill that you never took the time [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://www.valenciaray.com/theconfidencedocblog/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/cowboy.jpg"><img class="alignleft size-medium wp-image-816" style="margin-left: 10px; margin-right: 10px;" title="confidence, networking" src="http://www.valenciaray.com/theconfidencedocblog/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/cowboy-300x300.jpg" alt="" width="300" height="300" /></a>It takes confidence to go out and network with people to build your business.  Remember that confidence nor courage mean the absence of fear; no, you can have “fear” and go ahead and do what you need to do anyway.</p>
<p>If networking is new for you, or a skill that you never took the time to develop with intention, like anything else that is new and involves putting yourself out there, it can be intimidating at first.</p>
<p>Remember that growth is often preceded by discomfort; however, it does not have to be painful.  Excitement can be uncomfortable also, so it just depends on how you are focusing – focusing on fear or confidence?</p>
<p>Are you expecting the best from yourself and others or fearing rejection?  Even rejection is a mindset issue.  Rejection can actually be like “water off a duck’s back” as long as you don’t take it personally or tie your sense of self-worth to needing the approval from others.</p>
<p>It just depends on the story you tell yourself ABOUT yourself and the meaning you give to the word “no”. This all being said, our attitude about “rugged individualism” needs to be evolved and updated if you are going to succeed in this new environment we are all finding ourselves in.</p>
<p>I think it is great to have motivation to step out of our box and out of our comfort zone to build our confidence.  It also illustrates why it is so important to understand that our beliefs and thoughts need to be flexible and fluid if we are to live to our highest levels of possibility.</p>
<p>Just because something use to work, does not mean it still will today.  I like the motto, “I believe what I believe – until I change my mind”.  Your behavior and beliefs are not “just the way you are” – no it’s just the way you are behaving or being due to your thinking and feeling, i.e. beliefs.  You have permission to change – if you give it to yourself.</p>
<p>While I think our times dictate development of our individual self, our boundaries and talents, it is a paradigm that includes meeting our own needs to grow first, <em>SO THAT </em>we are healthier and self-fulfilled in our <em>service </em>to others.  It is important to nurture and grow ourselves as we serve others; the day of the doormat is also over.</p>
<p>If you continue to be a doormat to the neglect of managing your own energy, you are risking the development of disease in your body.  This may sound extreme, but it is very real when you understand the mind-body connection and health.  It is important to authentically connect with others and develop relationships, not just call up people when you need something.</p>
<p><span id="more-815"></span>I was so busy as an eye surgeon/mother/wife/physician caretaker, that I did not need to network and had very little time for relationships even though I wanted more social interaction in my professional world.  My family background did not encourage network building either, so I have had to set my intention to develop this skill.</p>
<p>Fortunately, I am naturally outgoing, yet, I know of people who were not and now they are very successful at connecting with others and also connecting people to people.  It can be done though again, you may have to call on your CORE confidence to do it!  Think about it, don’t you feel slimed when someone does not support you or ignores you until they think you have something they need? And then they call wanting to “pick your brain” and suck up your energy and time? This is really shortsighted and will not help you in business these days, that’s for sure.</p>
<p>Just notice the explosion in social media.  The writing is on the wall.  People want relationships.  Here are 3 tips that I’ve learned so far as I continue to grow in my confidence and awareness of relationship building:</p>
<p>1.  <strong>“Dig the well before you are thirsty”</strong> as Harvey Mackay has said.  Building relationships take an investment of time. Notice I said “investment”.  It’s not “spending” or “wasting” time.  If you unconsciously see people through this type of constrictive lens, they will notice.  When you understand the value of honoring others and giving and receiving knowledge/wisdom, experiences, you can appreciate people more.  Also of course, we all want to feel connected to others in a genuine and authentic way.</p>
<p>2.<strong> Listen</strong> – People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care, as it’s said.  This is true.  I learned this as an eye surgeon.  One day as I was reflecting on my new business here, I asked myself, “How was I so successful as an eye surgeon without much networking or advertising?”  The answer?  My patients KNEW how much I cared, that I listened to them as valued people, and that I had their best interest at heart.  They felt loved.  When I saw this, my attitude really shifted in my new business.  I don’t have a “business” as much as a platform to develop myself and unfold my purpose in service to the world and this has to come from the heart ultimately.  Yes, I’ve had to learn tons of new skills, yet at the end of the day, I had to remember to stay connected from my passion, my heart and care about individuals, not just my clients, seeing their light within and valuing them. As far as networking goes, I built my practice in a different era, and being a doctor is not the same field as the business of being a speaker, author and mindset coach.</p>
<p>3.  <strong>The Leader is the Servant of All</strong> – again forget the hierarchy of “power over” and “what’s in it for me”.  I’m finding just as I did as a physician, that when we are living from our purpose and leading with passion and enthusiasm with integrity, with an attitude of service, “what’s in it for me” is obvious.  In fact, your “cup will overflow” when you stop worrying about this and just give your best.  If you are going to be for yourself, you will end up being by yourself.  Of course, I’m practical so, make sure that you have the business structure in place to be able to receive.  I’m not talking airy-fairy here.  Keep it real.</p>
<p>So, while I was a fan of the Lone Ranger reruns as a kid (I think it was because of my unconscious belief in those years that I did not fit in with my family – who knows), if you live as the Lone Ranger, be forewarned that the sun has gone down on this paradigm.  While we need to be able to develop our personal power and confidence so that we can speak our truth with love and fulfill our individual purpose and possibly mission, we need to do it in an interconnected way, not just for what we can take from others.</p>
<p>Confidence in networking grows as we breakthrough our fears and learn to embrace who we are as we learn how to better connect with others.  What you do think?  Do you think collaboration is an idea whose time has come, or do you think the Lone Ranger can continue to prosper?</p>
]]></content:encoded>
			<wfw:commentRss>http://www.valenciaray.com/theconfidencedocblog/confidence-and-networking-have-you-noticed-yet-that-the-sun-has-set-on-the-lone-ranger/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Women Confidence and Self-Image: Who You Become is Up to You</title>
		<link>http://www.valenciaray.com/theconfidencedocblog/women-confidence-and-self-image-who-you-become-is-up-to-you/</link>
		<comments>http://www.valenciaray.com/theconfidencedocblog/women-confidence-and-self-image-who-you-become-is-up-to-you/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 15 Jul 2010 21:02:05 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Valencia Ray MD</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Confidence and Self-Esteem]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Empowerment]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Confidence]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Empower women]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Self-Esteem]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Self-Image]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Stay Healthy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[women in business]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.valenciaray.com/theconfidencedocblog/?p=800</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Empowerment and confidence is about choice. It&#8217;s about awareness at it&#8217;s foundation as if you are not aware that you have choice, you will not exercise your will and your will will become flabby. While I think that we have natural gifts and talents and that we have a purpose that is unique to us, [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><object classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000" width="640" height="385" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" /><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always" /><param name="src" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/guo6fqvI7_4&amp;hl=en_US&amp;fs=1?rel=0" /><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true" /><embed type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="640" height="385" src="http://www.youtube.com/v/guo6fqvI7_4&amp;hl=en_US&amp;fs=1?rel=0" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object></p>
<p>Empowerment and confidence is about choice.  It&#8217;s about awareness at it&#8217;s foundation as if you are not aware that you have choice, you will not exercise your will and your will will become flabby.</p>
<p>While I think that we have natural gifts and talents and that we have a purpose that is unique to us, I believe that whether or not you live out your purpose or just your fate (meaning weaknesses, strengths, environmental and genetic tendencies) will be determined by how clear you are and how much courage you have.  Courage and confidence does not mean you have no fear.</p>
<p>Fear is ubiquitous and is just a part of the human game.  What will determine if you can feel the fearful feelings and proceed forward anyway is based upon how awake and aware you are about the options that you have.  Do you believe you are &#8220;only human&#8221; or are you also tapping into your intuition and spiritual nature?</p>
<p>If not, you are weakening yourself and doing yourself a disservice.  Are you are of how to consciously operate your own brain and mind?  Or is it set on the default button of FEAR: <strong> F</strong>ictitious <strong>E</strong>vidence <strong>A</strong>ffecting <strong>R</strong>eality?  Either way, there is no judgment from me, I don&#8217;t think it&#8217;s &#8220;good or bad&#8221;.</p>
<p>The question is, do you want to live an abundant whole life or do you want to continue to play the role of the hapless victim and miss out on the incredible experience that you could have if you would choose to stop listening to the outer voices that keep you stuck, struggle and playing small.</p>
<p>You too can begin to <a href="http://www.valenciaray.com/products.html" target="_blank">Empower UP and Play Big</a> when you learn how to get in touch with your CORE confidence from the Authentic YOU and learn how to operate the greatest &#8220;supercomputer&#8221; on the planet &#8211; your own brain and mind.  Who do you think you are?  It&#8217;s time to &#8220;Breakthrough to the Real YOU&#8221;!  What do you think?</p>
]]></content:encoded>
			<wfw:commentRss>http://www.valenciaray.com/theconfidencedocblog/women-confidence-and-self-image-who-you-become-is-up-to-you/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Women Empower Up and Play Big &#8211; Breakthrough What&#8217;s Holding You Back</title>
		<link>http://www.valenciaray.com/theconfidencedocblog/women-empower-up-and-play-big-breakthrough-whats-holding-you-back/</link>
		<comments>http://www.valenciaray.com/theconfidencedocblog/women-empower-up-and-play-big-breakthrough-whats-holding-you-back/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 14 Jul 2010 18:15:18 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Valencia Ray MD</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Cataracts of the Soul-Fear]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Empowerment]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Breakthrough Fear]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Career Transition]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Confidence]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[confident women]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Empower women]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Self-Esteem]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.valenciaray.com/theconfidencedocblog/?p=796</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Empowerment involves awareness. Becoming aware of how to consciously operate the greatest &#8220;supercomputer&#8221; on the planet is very important, more now than ever. Guard your focus, because what you focus on expands and if you want an abundant, whole life, focus on what you want and learn how to get excited and expect this.  I [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><object classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000" width="640" height="385" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" /><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always" /><param name="src" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/QTN4wv8rkbY&amp;hl=en_US&amp;fs=1?rel=0" /><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true" /><embed type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="640" height="385" src="http://www.youtube.com/v/QTN4wv8rkbY&amp;hl=en_US&amp;fs=1?rel=0" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object></p>
<p>Empowerment involves awareness.  Becoming aware of how to consciously operate the greatest &#8220;supercomputer&#8221; on the planet is very important, more now than ever.  Guard your focus, because what you focus on expands and if you want an abundant, whole life, focus on what you want and learn how to get excited and expect this.  I use to think that the way I saw life was &#8220;just the way it is&#8221;.  Actually, perception, <em>HOW</em> we see the facts that show up in our lives, or what we think we can have or not is relative.  It&#8217;s relative to what we believe about ourselves and the way &#8220;life is&#8221;.  I have lived in the &#8220;hostile&#8221; universe model and I am now living in the &#8220;friendly&#8221; universe model.  As Einstein said:</p>
<p>&#8220;The most important decision you will ever make is whether you live in a friendly or hostile universe&#8221;</p>
<p>Yes, you get to decide.  It depends on how you see it.  Let me tell you, friendly is much better and peaceful.  No, I can&#8217;t control everything, and I no longer try, when I stay aware and present (happening more and more these days, yeah!).  I do what I can do, feel good, get clear as I can, and release it to the Universe to take care of the details.  This is making for an adventurous life instead of a life full of fear, resistance and struggle.  You interested?  Come join me.</p>
]]></content:encoded>
			<wfw:commentRss>http://www.valenciaray.com/theconfidencedocblog/women-empower-up-and-play-big-breakthrough-whats-holding-you-back/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Empowerment for Women:  BreakThrough to the Real YOU</title>
		<link>http://www.valenciaray.com/theconfidencedocblog/empowerment-for-women-breakthrough-to-the-real-you/</link>
		<comments>http://www.valenciaray.com/theconfidencedocblog/empowerment-for-women-breakthrough-to-the-real-you/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 08 Jul 2010 15:10:19 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Valencia Ray MD</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Empowerment]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Happiness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Breakthrough Fear]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Career Transition]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Confidence]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Intuition]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Self-Esteem]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[women empowerment]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.valenciaray.com/theconfidencedocblog/?p=786</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Empowerment is just that – power within, coming from the inside out. This blog post is introducing my new video series, “BreakThrough to the Real YOU”. Do you know that there is an area in the brain known as the area of “autobiographical memory”? It is the STORY of who you think you are. When [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><object classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000" width="640" height="385" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" /><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always" /><param name="src" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/njJladgB0hY&amp;hl=en_US&amp;fs=1?rel=0" /><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true" /><embed type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="640" height="385" src="http://www.youtube.com/v/njJladgB0hY&amp;hl=en_US&amp;fs=1?rel=0" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object></p>
<p>Empowerment is just that – power within, coming from the inside out.  This blog post is introducing my new video series, “BreakThrough to the Real YOU”.  Do you know that there is an area in the brain known as the area of “autobiographical memory”?  It is the STORY of who you think you are.  When I wrote my book, &#8220;Empower Up and Play Big: Winning at Life from the Inside Out&#8221;, I called it the “Mental Me”.  You can also call it “ego”.</p>
<p><span id="more-786"></span>Ego is just your personality and even in the word personality is the word “persona” which means, “mask”.  Ego is not “bad”, in fact you need it to play the roles in life that you play, and unless you plan on eliminating this area of your brain via a stroke or something, you WILL have an ego to manage.  The ego serves an important role.</p>
<p>You just need to understand that it is not the Real YOU and that these stories that form the ego often need to be updated and rewritten as they often disempowered you.  I used to think of myself in very negative terms; notice I said THINK of myself.  This is what forms our self-image.  And the cool part is that we are really making it all up.</p>
<p>If it is keeping you small, then learn how to Self-correct it.  I say “Self” in that the True You, the Authentic Self is the real you anyway.  I call it the “Magnificent Me”.  In Quantum Physics it is called the “Observer” or “Consciousness”.  This is where your life force power comes from.  When you make the time to listen to your intuition and nurture this spirit self, your essence, you can get in touch with your unique soul “blueprint” so to speak so that you can live the life you came here to live.</p>
<p>Not a life that is weak, fearful and disempowered, but the life you were meant to live – one that is creative, adventurous and fun.  Aren’t you tired of struggle and feeling insecure?  Comparing yourself to everybody and everything around you?  This is no way to live.</p>
<p>I think all of this change going on in the world is a good thing.  It just gives us all more incentive to stop playing small and to breakthrough the Mental Me stories, or “Cataracts of the Soul” and live our lives at a more empowered level.  What do you think?</p>
]]></content:encoded>
			<wfw:commentRss>http://www.valenciaray.com/theconfidencedocblog/empowerment-for-women-breakthrough-to-the-real-you/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Career and Money: Is Money Really the Root of All Evil or an Innocent Bystander?</title>
		<link>http://www.valenciaray.com/theconfidencedocblog/career-and-money-is-money-really-the-root-of-all-evil-or-an-innocent-bystander/</link>
		<comments>http://www.valenciaray.com/theconfidencedocblog/career-and-money-is-money-really-the-root-of-all-evil-or-an-innocent-bystander/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 05 Jul 2010 20:20:58 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Valencia Ray MD</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Money and Career]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Career and Money]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Confidence]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Self-Esteem]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Women and Empowerment]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.valenciaray.com/theconfidencedocblog/?p=781</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Career and business is the vehicle by which money flows into our life for the majority of people. You can find people who work 80-hour weeks, two jobs and may even beg, borrow or steal to get it. Here&#8217;s the essential question; does money make you do it? It&#8217;s like the old Flip Wilson comedian [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://www.valenciaray.com/theconfidencedocblog/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/Money.jpg"><img class="alignleft size-medium wp-image-782" style="margin-left: 10px; margin-right: 10px;" title="Career, Confidence, Self-Esteem" src="http://www.valenciaray.com/theconfidencedocblog/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/Money-300x200.jpg" alt="" width="300" height="200" /></a>Career and business is the vehicle by which money flows into our life for the majority of people.  You can find people who work 80-hour weeks, two jobs and may even beg, borrow or steal to get it.  Here&#8217;s the essential question; does money make you do it?</p>
<p>It&#8217;s like the old Flip Wilson comedian who use to say &#8220;The devil made me do it&#8221; (by the way, devil is &#8220;lived&#8221; spelled backwards which is the way we often think about money in the first place).  Money is often at the root of marital problems, particularly when there&#8217;s a shortage of it, social status and quality of healthcare and lifestyle.</p>
<p>People are blatantly in a love-hate relationship with it and to the degree that you are unaware of your unconscious beliefs about money; you can sabotage your business and relationships success as well as run your health into the ground.  The idea that money is &#8220;bad&#8221; is one reason why many women entrepreneurs struggle with achieving the level of business success they desire, yet they really want to have more money to provide for their families and yes, go shopping without getting into debt.  Why is this?  How did money get blamed for what we choose to do with it?</p>
<p>Notice the keyword here: choice.  The catch is, to the degree that you are aware or not is the degree to which you can manage money in a healthy, abundant manner.  Money cannot tell you what to do with it, and it cannot &#8220;make&#8221; you do anything.  The issue is that we project our values and beliefs onto it and then use it accordingly.  If we believe we are &#8220;good people&#8221; and money is &#8220;bad&#8221;, then we will tend to either struggle to attract it, or lose it almost as fast as we receive it.</p>
<p>If we think we are unworthy and that only &#8220;lucky&#8221; or &#8220;good people&#8221; have abundance, then we again, will manage to keep money out of our lives.  Then there are the &#8220;but what will they think about me if I have it&#8221; stories.  These are linked to our perceptions that others will reject us if we have more than they do.  What about power?  We are taught that money is power, yet those who secretly feel internally insecure are often the most likely to hide behind their money or strive to maintain &#8220;power over&#8221; others with their money.</p>
<p>So, money makes them do this, right?  I say &#8220;wrong&#8221;.</p>
<p><span id="more-781"></span>Money is energy and it is a tell-tell indicator of the consciousness of the person controlling it.  It is actually a type of teacher in that it shows you what you unconsciously believe about your personal power, worth and ability to interact with others in integrity.  It&#8217;s energy in that it solves or creates problems, again based on the mission it was sent on.</p>
<p>And what I have experienced is, the healthier my self-image became and the more I actually dealt with my unconscious limiting beliefs about money, the more generous I became and the more money I have.  Money is only one aspect of living the abundant, whole life.  It makes life easier when you have a consciousness based in gratitude, spirit and the awareness of the unity of life.</p>
<p>We can do great things or destructive things, we can provide employment or we can go out of business &#8211; all based on how we perceive money.  An abundant whole life is going to be contingent on having the energy, the money, to cover whatever the outflow or expenses are.  How much is enough?  When you are coming from a place of love and abundance, you are far less likely to fall to greed and you can recognize that there is more than enough to meet your heart&#8217;s desire.</p>
<p>The Mirror of Life will reflect to you your hidden money relationship.  Money is the bystander that is standing on ready to reveal to you where you need to expand the vision for your life &#8211; if you would only be willing to perceive it!  What do you think?</p>
]]></content:encoded>
			<wfw:commentRss>http://www.valenciaray.com/theconfidencedocblog/career-and-money-is-money-really-the-root-of-all-evil-or-an-innocent-bystander/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Career Transition: Change is the Doorway to Expanding the Vision for Your Life</title>
		<link>http://www.valenciaray.com/theconfidencedocblog/career-transition-change-is-the-doorway-to-expanding-the-vision-for-your-life/</link>
		<comments>http://www.valenciaray.com/theconfidencedocblog/career-transition-change-is-the-doorway-to-expanding-the-vision-for-your-life/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 02 Jul 2010 15:29:27 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Valencia Ray MD</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Money and Career]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Career Transition]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Confidence]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Self-Esteem]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Women and Empowerment]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.valenciaray.com/theconfidencedocblog/?p=776</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Career Transition seems to be at an all time high and it is only going to continue for many people as the world as we&#8217;ve known it falls away and evolves to the next version of expansion. I proactively chose to listen to my inner wisdom and evolve into the next version of my purpose. [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://www.valenciaray.com/theconfidencedocblog/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/iStock_000003409647XSmall.jpg"><img class="alignleft size-medium wp-image-777" style="margin-left: 10px; margin-right: 10px;" title="Career Transition" src="http://www.valenciaray.com/theconfidencedocblog/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/iStock_000003409647XSmall-300x223.jpg" alt="" width="300" height="223" /></a>Career Transition seems to be at an all time high and it is only going to continue for many people as the world as we&#8217;ve known it falls away and evolves to the next version of expansion.  I proactively chose to listen to my inner wisdom and evolve into the next version of my purpose.</p>
<p>You could also call it career or whatever suits you.  Just as the Universe continues to evolve and expand, so do we as we are a part of our grand universe.  We can either focus on the figment of our imagination known as our past or we can embrace the inevitable change that we are faced with now.  Why do I say &#8220;inevitable&#8221;?</p>
<p>If it has shown up, then it is already here &#8211; so it has happened.  We suffer when we resist what &#8220;is&#8221; or refuse to change our perception about these &#8220;facts&#8221;.  Remember, your reality is based on your perception.  If you see the glass half full or half empty &#8211; you are right!</p>
<p>I have come to make friends with change.  Sure there is some change that I only accept and then there is some change that I am outright enthusiastic about.  At the very least, my goal is to stay present to what is and while I may have preferences, I do my best not to get attached to having to have things just a certain way or trying to micromanage my world.</p>
<p>This is what surrender is; it does not mean that you have no preference and just take what is handed to you.  It just means that you in this moment weigh your options and make a conscious choice in the present moment to shift in your inspired direction. Then, whatever happens, you notice it, and adjust.  Inner peace for me is rooted in my awareness that there is more to life than meets the eye.</p>
<p>From a practical point of view, I always thought that I would grow up to meet interesting people, travel the world and be a lifelong learner.  Ironically, as I became a young adult and chose the &#8220;safe&#8221; and socially acceptable path as the physician, little did I know that ultimately it would start to evolve into a career that boxed me in to a limited way of being.</p>
<p>While I enjoyed it very much overall, ultimately, I found myself not growing very much as between being crazy busy and loaded with responsibility, I also was only meeting other ophthalmologists or physicians in my small little niche.  My only reprieve was when I went to my husband&#8217;s business dinners.  Well, ultimately, as my guidance led me on, I listened and followed.</p>
<p>Was it scary?  Some days it was.  Am I glad I sold my practice and moved on?  Yes.</p>
<p><span id="more-776"></span>As I write this I am sitting in the airport, leaving a business group meeting that I am currently a part of. Within this group, I have met a former Princeton University professor who is now doing interesting things online, another physician who now empowers middle-aged women on mind, body spirit issues, a clinical psychologist who is starting her own empowerment education institute, a corporate trainer (who is also an actress) who is now building her coaching practice to help parents get their children into acting who is glamorous and fun, and this is only a small list of the many interesting people I&#8217;ve met in the past six months.</p>
<p>None of us were particularly Internet savvy and some of us had no professional experience in our new arenas that we could claim when we first took the leap.  Yet, since I had a vision, and learned to trust my own inner voice, I am now feeling that I am continuing the journey toward my destiny instead of staying stuck in my &#8220;fate&#8221;.</p>
<p>Either way is not so much as wrong or right.  It&#8217;s just that I am enjoying expanding the vision for my life and regardless of where it takes me, I am happy to continue to live with passion and growing personal power, inner peace and life experience instead of hanging on to a career that I had outgrown.  Life is a series of choices not chances; if I were to &#8220;fall down&#8221; I&#8217;ll just get back up.</p>
<p>To me, this is better that staying stuck like a deer in the headlight and dreading another day.  While this was not my mindset, I&#8217;m glad that I had the courage to move on instead of waiting until I did resent living in a world that I needed to expand beyond.  Is career transition a place that you are finding yourself right now?  Go ahead, take the plunge, the water is great, if you are willing to go with the flow and grow more into your true potential.  What do you think?</p>
]]></content:encoded>
			<wfw:commentRss>http://www.valenciaray.com/theconfidencedocblog/career-transition-change-is-the-doorway-to-expanding-the-vision-for-your-life/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Career Transition:  I Want to Be an Entrepreneur &#8211; So Why Am I So Stuck?</title>
		<link>http://www.valenciaray.com/theconfidencedocblog/career-transition-i-want-to-be-an-entrepreneur-so-why-am-i-so-stuck/</link>
		<comments>http://www.valenciaray.com/theconfidencedocblog/career-transition-i-want-to-be-an-entrepreneur-so-why-am-i-so-stuck/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 28 Jun 2010 17:30:02 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Valencia Ray MD</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Money and Career]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Career Transition]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Confidence]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Self-Esteem]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Women and Empowerment]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.valenciaray.com/theconfidencedocblog/?p=772</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Career transition is quite common considering that many people are searching for more meaning in what they do, or by sheer necessity, they have to make some hard choices. Why are they so hard? Life is really meant to be enjoyed, not one week of drudgery after another. I heard someone I know say over [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://www.valenciaray.com/theconfidencedocblog/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/Confusion-11829501XSmall.jpg"><img class="alignleft size-medium wp-image-773" style="margin-left: 10px; margin-right: 10px;" title="Career Transition" src="http://www.valenciaray.com/theconfidencedocblog/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/Confusion-11829501XSmall-203x300.jpg" alt="" width="203" height="300" /></a>Career transition is quite common considering that many people are searching for more meaning in what they do, or by sheer necessity, they have to make some hard choices.  Why are they so hard?  Life is really meant to be enjoyed, not one week of drudgery after another.</p>
<p>I heard someone I know say over the weekend how much she dreads Mondays because she hates her job and her boss.  This is no way to live.  So why is it such a common problem?  At the core of the matter is mindset.  We don’t know what we even want as our soul’s desire is often buried under a ton of “shoulds”.</p>
<p>Do you know what you <em><strong>really</strong></em><strong><em></em></strong> want?  Have you even asked yourself this question?  I truly understand where this fear comes from as I have had to muster up lots of courage over the years to arrive to where I am in life and that is still constantly changing.  My secret?</p>
<p>I felt the fear and moved on through it, while at the same time dealing with the stories that were creating the feelings in the first place.  I’ve learned to make friends with change and feelings.  I also discovered that there is a little known secret to how thoughts, feelings and emotions wire our brains and our nervous system.</p>
<p>Yes, we are “spiritual beings” having a human experience, yet if you don’t understand the practical implications of how to manage the greatest “supercomputer” on the planet – your own brain and mind – your spiritual power cannot manifest into form – at least not the form you want.</p>
<p><span id="more-772"></span>You have a body/mind for a reason and your spirit, your Authentic Self, must express itself via this outward body form.  The unfortunate thing is that if you wire your brain with faulty information that disempowers you, your brain does not stop you.  Your brain is going to go after what you focus on and when it becomes your belief, your “reality” will just keep showing up!</p>
<p>Your reality is really what you have trained your perceptual system to believe is true for you by holding your thoughts and feelings onto ways of thinking long enough, or with enough emotion that it gets wired into your body at a cellular level.  This is science, not woo-woo.  We just don’t know what we don’t know and until we change this, we will keep getting whatever we’ve been getting – <em>for better or for worse, again the brain does not judge</em>.  So you want to be an entrepreneur?  Here are 3 ideas to consider:</p>
<p>1.  <strong>Get clear about what you want </strong>– Do you have a vision?  I coach my clients on how to get clear, and go deeper and eliminate “cataracts of the soul” that block their vision for business and relationship success, and then help to point their missile-like seeking brains in the right direction.</p>
<p>2.  <strong>Stop putting yourself down </strong>– Self-doubt and negative self-talk is deadly to career transition.  Did you know that research shows that negative self-talk is a major cause of stress and stress is even linked with brain cell damage and cancer?  You won’t have confidence doing this, yet we have been conditioned to think that we keep ourselves “humble” this way.  This is not even what humility is from my point of view.  You can’t get out your box playing small.</p>
<p>3.  <strong>Learn how to shift your energy and drop the drama so that you can attract more of what you want</strong> – I can tell you that it takes more than just rolling up your sleeves and collecting information on the Internet to be successful.  The question is, who are you attracting, is the information appropriate for our day, and can you take action?  Knowledge is not power; application of cutting-edge “right” information and good relationship skills pave the way to success.  You can accomplish more easier as you learn how to shift your energy to a higher way of being.</p>
<p>These are 3 ideas to consider and if you look carefully, they are ultimately related to “<em>how</em>” you see yourself in relationship to life and others.  It is also important to note that simply working hard will not do it.  In fact, I’m learning by experience more and more that my mindset and energy is the golden key to allowing my Authentic Light and power come through.</p>
<p>Sure this is a process, yet it moves as fast as your clarity and internal shifting moves, and this is based more on intention and listening to your own inner guidance than anything else.  Are you listening?  The power has always been within, yet with the challenges we are faced with today, it is imperative that we learn how to tap into our inner resources, as business as usual is no longer working.  Career transition can be an adventure and expand your personal power when you come from the inside out!</p>
]]></content:encoded>
			<wfw:commentRss>http://www.valenciaray.com/theconfidencedocblog/career-transition-i-want-to-be-an-entrepreneur-so-why-am-i-so-stuck/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Stay Healthy: 3 Key Questions to Determine If Your Opinions are Harmful to Your Health</title>
		<link>http://www.valenciaray.com/theconfidencedocblog/stay-healthy-3-key-questions-to-determine-if-your-opinions-are-harmful-to-your-health/</link>
		<comments>http://www.valenciaray.com/theconfidencedocblog/stay-healthy-3-key-questions-to-determine-if-your-opinions-are-harmful-to-your-health/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 25 Jun 2010 21:04:31 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Valencia Ray MD</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Staying Healthy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Confidence]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Healthy Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Neuroscience]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Self-Esteem]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Stay Healthy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Women and Empowerment]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.valenciaray.com/theconfidencedocblog/?p=768</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Staying healthy is more important than ever considering the rising rates of cancer and chronic disease in our world &#8211; not to mention the expense of healthcare and the emotional fallout. While I personally have healthy nutrition habits and exercise regularly, I do very little specific teaching on what supplements to take or what exercise [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://www.valenciaray.com/theconfidencedocblog/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/Health-2.jpg"><img class="alignleft size-medium wp-image-769" style="margin-left: 10px; margin-right: 10px;" title="Stay Healthy" src="http://www.valenciaray.com/theconfidencedocblog/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/Health-2-300x144.jpg" alt="" width="300" height="144" /></a>Staying healthy is more important than ever considering the rising rates of cancer and chronic disease in our world &#8211; not to mention the expense of healthcare and the emotional fallout.  While I personally have healthy nutrition habits and exercise regularly, I do very little specific teaching on what supplements to take or what exercise routine one should be on.</p>
<p>I tend to come from the core of what makes us stay healthy or get sick &#8211; mindset.  Yes, even disease is related to how you think and feel.  In fact, it can make or break you and holistic/integrative physicians already get this.</p>
<p>When we become aware of the role of thoughts, feelings and emotions, we become even more empowered to make healthier choices and actually apply them in the first place.  Also, intuitively doesn&#8217;t it just make sense that if you think and feel joyful and connected to life, you will feel and be healthier than if you are full of worry, judgment and anger?</p>
<p>In our changing times this information that I am sharing is critical.  We are generally conditioned to fear change and by the time the &#8220;survival&#8221; instinct kicks in, we can find ourselves overwhelmed with worry and anxiety if we are not aware of how to deal with our own brain and nervous system.  We think that we have a &#8220;right to our opinion&#8221; and we certainly do.</p>
<p>The question to ask is, what would you rather be, &#8220;right&#8221; or healthy?  In fact, does it really even matter as to what other people are doing in the details of their life and why waste time looking over the fence into the lives of others?  Does our opinion about what others are wearing, doing (particularly if it is legal and not harming others) or how they live their lives, really matter?</p>
<p>Will our opinion change them?  Does complaining, worrying or gossiping really create the abundant, prosperous life that you desire?  Actually, what I know for sure is that our opinions can be hazardous to not only our body&#8217;s health; if left unchecked, they can drain our entire lives.  On the other hand, becoming consciously aware of the power of what we think and feel to attract the health and wealth we seek is the most economical and quickest way to achieve it, and this is science, not woo-woo.</p>
<p>Here is a powerful point: Every thought you have has a type of quality of feeling associated with it.  When you send out negative opinions with negative feelings about others out into the universe, you ALWAYS feel it in your own body first.  This should give new meaning to the ancient proverb: &#8220;Do unto to others as you would have others to do unto you&#8221;.</p>
<p><span id="more-768"></span>You see, what we send out to others in terms of what we think and feel, has to run through our own body&#8217;s energy system first.  Check how you feel the next time you have an opinion about someone, positive or negative.  And, you don&#8217;t even have to say it; just think it and you will still feel the response.</p>
<p>Ask yourself the following 3 key questions to assess whether or not your opinions are harmful to your health:</p>
<p>1.  Do they (your opinions) uplift and inspire you? Do they bring feelings of joy?  If not, how do you feel?  Your feelings are your guidance system as to what kind of energy you are currently running through your body.</p>
<p>2.  Do they create the feeling of connection to, or separation from others?  Love is connection and stimulates health; separation is fear-based and stimulates disease.</p>
<p>3.  How do you feel in your body? Do an energy check &#8211; Angry? Irritated? Drained? Or Peaceful, Loving and Happy?</p>
<p>It really matters how you feel, as it is the first step in releasing chemicals in the body that lead to more or less health.  Health is your natural state.  Disease comes from mismanagement of our power as a rule.  Remember this the next time you think that you &#8220;feel irritated&#8221; because someone dyes their hair a color that you disagree with.  Is it really worth it?    Stay healthy by keeping your focus on your health (not disease), what you want and how you can learn how to live your version of the abundant, whole life.  What do you think?</p>
]]></content:encoded>
			<wfw:commentRss>http://www.valenciaray.com/theconfidencedocblog/stay-healthy-3-key-questions-to-determine-if-your-opinions-are-harmful-to-your-health/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Core Confidence: 3 Key Reasons Why Self-Love is Not Narcissism and Why You Should Care</title>
		<link>http://www.valenciaray.com/theconfidencedocblog/core-confidence-3-key-reasons-why-self-love-is-not-narcissism-and-why-you-should-care/</link>
		<comments>http://www.valenciaray.com/theconfidencedocblog/core-confidence-3-key-reasons-why-self-love-is-not-narcissism-and-why-you-should-care/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 22 Jun 2010 17:11:55 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Valencia Ray MD</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Confidence and Self-Esteem]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Empowerment]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Confidence]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Neuroscience]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Self-Esteem]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Self-Image]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Self-Love]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.valenciaray.com/theconfidencedocblog/?p=761</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Confidence is a key element to empowerment. If you can&#8217;t speak up, take risks or all too often buckle under the opinions of others, your gifts and talents will likely never reach authentic expression. Let me say that confidence from the core, authentic self is what I am referring to. Not the &#8220;fake it &#8217;till [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://www.valenciaray.com/theconfidencedocblog/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/Mirror.jpg"><img class="alignleft size-medium wp-image-763" style="margin-left: 10px; margin-right: 10px;" title="Self-Image, Self-Esteem" src="http://www.valenciaray.com/theconfidencedocblog/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/Mirror-201x300.jpg" alt="" width="201" height="300" /></a>Confidence is a key element to empowerment.  If you can&#8217;t speak up, take risks or all too often buckle under the opinions of others, your gifts and talents will likely never reach authentic expression.  Let me say that confidence from the core, authentic self is what I am referring to.</p>
<p>Not the &#8220;fake it &#8217;till you make it&#8221; to whatever status you believe holds the magical key to empowerment.  I&#8217;m referring to knowing that you know that the &#8220;real you&#8221; is already ok, just because you breathe.  The starting point from this place is assuming that you are not broken, just in evolution, like the plant in the garden that is in the process of unfolding to its true beauty and potential.</p>
<p>We as a society tend to come from a mindset of lack and deficiency &#8211; the old paradigm of selfishness and &#8220;survival of the fittest&#8221;.  This is just one way of seeing life; it is not the only way.  We live in a world of infinite potential, and what determines how you experience &#8220;reality&#8221; is based on your perceptual system.  How you wire your brain and nervous system really matters.</p>
<p>And get this; what runs your life is generally the 90% that is out of your awareness and comes from the unconscious part of your mind.  So, why is self-love so important and why is it not ok to beat yourself up and put yourself down?  Aren&#8217;t we taught that this is &#8220;humble&#8221;?  Isn&#8217;t it &#8220;pride&#8221; to think good of yourself?  Isn&#8217;t it &#8220;narcissistic&#8221;?</p>
<p>Narcissism stems from fear and is often rooted in insecurity.  When you come from core confidence, you know that there is no need to compare yourself and judge worth and value between people.  Yes, we vary in the expression of our gifts and talents, yet at our essence, the &#8220;founders&#8221; of our country had it correct when they said, &#8220;all men (and women) are created equal&#8221;.</p>
<p>When you come to know this Authentic Self, the essence of your very life force, you can begin to separate yourself from the &#8220;stories&#8221; of who you think you are that keep you stuck and playing small.  These stories that you&#8217;ve wired into your mind and nervous system can be re-written when you are ready to accept the challenge. And it is much simpler than you may think.</p>
<p><span id="more-761"></span>In the meantime, rejecting yourself will only keep you stuck.  Why or how does this work?  Here are 3 reasons why self-love is not narcissism and why you want to convert to self-love and stop putting yourself down.</p>
<p>1.  Narcissism by definition is rooted in fear and judgment.  It is seeking hierarchy and &#8220;power over&#8221; others based on comparison and disrespect.  When we come from &#8220;I am better than you&#8221; or &#8220;my needs are most important &#8211; period&#8221;, we are coming from lack.  Often, low self-esteem and self-absorption based on this is the cause of narcissism.</p>
<p>2.  Self-love stems from awareness of the Divine spirit that is within you and the source of life itself.  It has to do with respect for self and all of life and just acknowledges the gift of life that you are.  It is compassionate and says, &#8220;I&#8217;m growing&#8221; and I can see the abundance in light in life, instead of coming from a place of fear and lack.  It is giving our self space to grow and expand without shame and guilt &#8211; which are the two &#8220;terrorizing twins&#8221; that keep us playing small and losing in life.  Love grows and expands us; fear constricts.</p>
<p>3.  One cannot rise above and stay above their self-image.  Your brain seeks to make you &#8220;right&#8221; in the way that you really &#8220;see&#8221; yourself (self-image).  When I lived in self-rejection, I used sheer will power to push my way to my goals in the hopes of finding abundance and peace.  What I realized is that self-sabotage, in its many forms (even Tiger had to learn this one), will kick in if you do not deal with the &#8220;blind spots&#8221; that distort your self-image in a proactive way.  Also, be informed that negative self-talk has been shown to provoke the stress response in your body and stress accounts for up to 90% of primary care doctor visits.  Your subconscious mind is going to show you via the Mirror of Life what you REALLY believe about yourself and life.</p>
<p>In this time of change there is also great opportunity for growth.  The more you embrace who you are, with love and compassion, the more likely you are to be kind and accepting of others.  This is a winning formula for success as when you feel deserving of success, you can stop all of the procrastination and confusion around your business success, relationships and you are even likely to stay healthier and have more life energy.</p>
<p>Core confidence can only come from the inside out when you make the time to consider &#8211; and love &#8211; who you really are.  What do you think?</p>
]]></content:encoded>
			<wfw:commentRss>http://www.valenciaray.com/theconfidencedocblog/core-confidence-3-key-reasons-why-self-love-is-not-narcissism-and-why-you-should-care/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Practical Spirituality:  EGO is not the Enemy</title>
		<link>http://www.valenciaray.com/theconfidencedocblog/practical-spirituality-ego-is-not-the-enemy/</link>
		<comments>http://www.valenciaray.com/theconfidencedocblog/practical-spirituality-ego-is-not-the-enemy/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 18 Jun 2010 13:45:56 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Valencia Ray MD</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Practical Spirituality]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Confidence]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Ego]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Neuroscience]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Self-Esteem]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Spirituality]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[women empowerment]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.valenciaray.com/theconfidencedocblog/?p=756</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Ego often gets a bum rap. I was happy to see the video of Dr. Jill Bolte-Taylor, author of &#8220;My Stroke of Insight&#8221;, (see her video at the end of this post) a while back as she exemplifies why we need an ego and why is not a good idea to try to &#8220;get rid&#8221; [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://www.valenciaray.com/theconfidencedocblog/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/Mask-Ego1.jpg"><img class="alignleft size-medium wp-image-758" style="margin-left: 10px; margin-right: 10px;" title="Mask, Ego" src="http://www.valenciaray.com/theconfidencedocblog/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/Mask-Ego1-200x300.jpg" alt="" width="200" height="300" /></a>Ego often gets a bum rap.  I was happy to see the video of Dr. Jill Bolte-Taylor, author of &#8220;My Stroke of Insight&#8221;, (see her video at the end of this post) a while back as she exemplifies why we need an ego and why is not a good idea to try to &#8220;get rid&#8221; of it.</p>
<p>First of all, unless you want to damage the left hemisphere of your brain (which was her challenge when she had the stroke), you are going to have a sense of &#8220;identity&#8221; which is what the ego is. It is the mental construct of the &#8220;false self&#8221;.</p>
<p>Ego is imbedded within your personality.  Within the word personality is “persona”, which means, “mask”.  It is not the real you, it is what I call the &#8220;Mental Me&#8221;; the story of who you THINK you are.  This is in opposition to the &#8220;Magnificent Me&#8221; that most people apparently are not aware of.</p>
<p>The Magnificent Me is the Authentic Self, the Real Deal, not the memory you hold of yourself based on genetics (karma if you are so inclined), environment and simply the illogical mind of the child you once were.  Most of our sense of limited identity starts in early childhood, which is when we are most susceptible and predisposed to believing the opinions of others and making up the meaning of our experiences.</p>
<p>It is not what happens to you; it is HOW you interpret the facts of your experience that determines the meaning that is assigned.  This is what perception is in a nutshell.  This would explain why one person can experience an event as horribly traumatic while for another it may just be &#8220;water off a duck&#8217;s back&#8221;.</p>
<p><span id="more-756"></span>We need an ego to play the game of life as a &#8220;separate&#8221; individual.  I say, &#8220;separate&#8221; as we are all really connected at the quantum field, energetic level.  In fact, we are all &#8220;one&#8221;.  We all come from the One Source and yet we all have different soul memories and experiences that are unique to us.  This is the diversity of life.</p>
<p>It&#8217;s wonderful as long as you keep your ego in a healthy condition.  The problem is that most people have &#8220;wounded&#8221; egos.  When the ego is wounded is sees life through the eyes of survival and fear &#8211; FEAR = Fictitious Evidence Affecting Reality. In other words, stories that impact how you experience reality, as reality is relative.</p>
<p>I call these stories &#8220;cataracts of the soul&#8221;.  They cover our Light, the light of our souls and keep our lives constricted and living in the dark.  They also keep us from shining and seeing the light in others with a strong tendency to focus on what is wrong with the world instead of the beauty that is here right now, all around us &#8211; if we could only perceive it!</p>
<p>So, don&#8217;t waste your time trying to become &#8220;egoless&#8221;.  If you are blissed out 24/7 you would be of no earthly good.  The key is to eliminate the blind spots, these &#8220;cataracts&#8221; so that the Authentic Self is at the helm of the ship of your life.  You can be present in your awareness of the now moment, and live with joy, peace and love, while at the same time move forward actively engaged in everyday life.</p>
<p>Your personality, the Mental Me, is meant to serve the Magnificent Me.  The ego thinks it&#8217;s the queen or king, but it is to be the servant that allows you to take your Divinely inspired ideas and bring it into manifested form.  Then you can be free to be, the “Magnificent Me”.  What do you think about this?</p>
<p><object classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000" width="640" height="385" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" /><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always" /><param name="src" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/UyyjU8fzEYU&amp;hl=en_US&amp;fs=1&amp;" /><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true" /><embed type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="640" height="385" src="http://www.youtube.com/v/UyyjU8fzEYU&amp;hl=en_US&amp;fs=1&amp;" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object></p>
]]></content:encoded>
			<wfw:commentRss>http://www.valenciaray.com/theconfidencedocblog/practical-spirituality-ego-is-not-the-enemy/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
	</channel>
</rss>
