Staying healthy is not just about going to the gym. This helps, no doubt, yet if you are only focusing on your physical body and ignoring the power of your mind, you are not being as effective if you could be. Why? Dis-Ease starts in the mental and emotional realm.
You are a whole person, spirit, mind, emotions and physical. We all to often get stuck only on what our eyes can see right in front of us. If what you are focusing on is pulling your energy downward, you are potentially setting yourself up for ill health.
According to a study supported by the NIH, “Social Rejection Linked to Inflammation” which can be viewed online at MedPage Today (Click Here) there are some serious diseases associated with fear of rejection. The list is nothing to sneeze at: asthma, cardiovascular disease, depression and arthritis are named in the article.
Now here is a conclusion to think about – worrying about what others think of you, or fear of rejection is hazardous to your health. Yet, it is only hazardous if “thinking makes it so”. What do I mean? Just because someone rejects you, does not mean it has to matter to you. In fact, if you don’t mind, it does not matter!
This is the power of your thoughts, emotion (perception) and feelings. The same “fact”, that someone rejects you does not have to stir up negative emotion as you realize that their perception of you is just that –their perception. The negative feelings you have is harming your physiology and contributing to sickness. Acquiring years on the planet is not what is causing the disease.
It is HOW we manage our energy, our power, over time is what is creating all the ill health. Staying healthy is about waking up to this important and empowering idea. You have the power of “response – ability” to choose not to respond negatively. Here is the key: YOU must believe that you are good enough. YOU must believe that while you have “strengths and weaknesses” that there is no judgment for where you are.
You are where you are and everyone is doing the best that they are aware to do at the time. We are all in process, at different stages of growth. The need to judge self and others is just another conditioned behavior, like Pavlov’s dog, that keeps us stuck and playing small. When you start to love and accept yourself, recognizing yes, that here are behaviors and habits that no longer serve you and that it is good to grow and change, then you can do so easier and without the dread of being rejected for stepping out of your box.
I learned, the hard way, that fearing the opinions of others is a needless form of suffering. There can be many reasons that we fear other’s opinions, and here are three:
It takes confidence to go out and network with people to build your business. Remember that confidence nor courage mean the absence of fear; no, you can have “fear” and go ahead and do what you need to do anyway.
If networking is new for you, or a skill that you never took the time to develop with intention, like anything else that is new and involves putting yourself out there, it can be intimidating at first.
Remember that growth is often preceded by discomfort; however, it does not have to be painful. Excitement can be uncomfortable also, so it just depends on how you are focusing – focusing on fear or confidence?
Are you expecting the best from yourself and others or fearing rejection? Even rejection is a mindset issue. Rejection can actually be like “water off a duck’s back” as long as you don’t take it personally or tie your sense of self-worth to needing the approval from others.
It just depends on the story you tell yourself ABOUT yourself and the meaning you give to the word “no”. This all being said, our attitude about “rugged individualism” needs to be evolved and updated if you are going to succeed in this new environment we are all finding ourselves in.
I think it is great to have motivation to step out of our box and out of our comfort zone to build our confidence. It also illustrates why it is so important to understand that our beliefs and thoughts need to be flexible and fluid if we are to live to our highest levels of possibility.
Just because something use to work, does not mean it still will today. I like the motto, “I believe what I believe – until I change my mind”. Your behavior and beliefs are not “just the way you are” – no it’s just the way you are behaving or being due to your thinking and feeling, i.e. beliefs. You have permission to change – if you give it to yourself.
While I think our times dictate development of our individual self, our boundaries and talents, it is a paradigm that includes meeting our own needs to grow first, SO THAT we are healthier and self-fulfilled in our service to others. It is important to nurture and grow ourselves as we serve others; the day of the doormat is also over.
If you continue to be a doormat to the neglect of managing your own energy, you are risking the development of disease in your body. This may sound extreme, but it is very real when you understand the mind-body connection and health. It is important to authentically connect with others and develop relationships, not just call up people when you need something.
Empowerment and confidence is about choice. It’s about awareness at it’s foundation as if you are not aware that you have choice, you will not exercise your will and your will will become flabby.
While I think that we have natural gifts and talents and that we have a purpose that is unique to us, I believe that whether or not you live out your purpose or just your fate (meaning weaknesses, strengths, environmental and genetic tendencies) will be determined by how clear you are and how much courage you have. Courage and confidence does not mean you have no fear.
Fear is ubiquitous and is just a part of the human game. What will determine if you can feel the fearful feelings and proceed forward anyway is based upon how awake and aware you are about the options that you have. Do you believe you are “only human” or are you also tapping into your intuition and spiritual nature?
If not, you are weakening yourself and doing yourself a disservice. Are you are of how to consciously operate your own brain and mind? Or is it set on the default button of FEAR: Fictitious Evidence Affecting Reality? Either way, there is no judgment from me, I don’t think it’s “good or bad”.
The question is, do you want to live an abundant whole life or do you want to continue to play the role of the hapless victim and miss out on the incredible experience that you could have if you would choose to stop listening to the outer voices that keep you stuck, struggle and playing small.
You too can begin to Empower UP and Play Big when you learn how to get in touch with your CORE confidence from the Authentic YOU and learn how to operate the greatest “supercomputer” on the planet – your own brain and mind. Who do you think you are? It’s time to “Breakthrough to the Real YOU”! What do you think?
Empowerment involves awareness. Becoming aware of how to consciously operate the greatest “supercomputer” on the planet is very important, more now than ever. Guard your focus, because what you focus on expands and if you want an abundant, whole life, focus on what you want and learn how to get excited and expect this. I use to think that the way I saw life was “just the way it is”. Actually, perception, HOW we see the facts that show up in our lives, or what we think we can have or not is relative. It’s relative to what we believe about ourselves and the way “life is”. I have lived in the “hostile” universe model and I am now living in the “friendly” universe model. As Einstein said:
“The most important decision you will ever make is whether you live in a friendly or hostile universe”
Yes, you get to decide. It depends on how you see it. Let me tell you, friendly is much better and peaceful. No, I can’t control everything, and I no longer try, when I stay aware and present (happening more and more these days, yeah!). I do what I can do, feel good, get clear as I can, and release it to the Universe to take care of the details. This is making for an adventurous life instead of a life full of fear, resistance and struggle. You interested? Come join me.
Empowerment is just that – power within, coming from the inside out. This blog post is introducing my new video series, “BreakThrough to the Real YOU”. Do you know that there is an area in the brain known as the area of “autobiographical memory”? It is the STORY of who you think you are. When I wrote my book, “Empower Up and Play Big: Winning at Life from the Inside Out”, I called it the “Mental Me”. You can also call it “ego”.
Career and business is the vehicle by which money flows into our life for the majority of people. You can find people who work 80-hour weeks, two jobs and may even beg, borrow or steal to get it. Here’s the essential question; does money make you do it?
It’s like the old Flip Wilson comedian who use to say “The devil made me do it” (by the way, devil is “lived” spelled backwards which is the way we often think about money in the first place). Money is often at the root of marital problems, particularly when there’s a shortage of it, social status and quality of healthcare and lifestyle.
People are blatantly in a love-hate relationship with it and to the degree that you are unaware of your unconscious beliefs about money; you can sabotage your business and relationships success as well as run your health into the ground. The idea that money is “bad” is one reason why many women entrepreneurs struggle with achieving the level of business success they desire, yet they really want to have more money to provide for their families and yes, go shopping without getting into debt. Why is this? How did money get blamed for what we choose to do with it?
Notice the keyword here: choice. The catch is, to the degree that you are aware or not is the degree to which you can manage money in a healthy, abundant manner. Money cannot tell you what to do with it, and it cannot “make” you do anything. The issue is that we project our values and beliefs onto it and then use it accordingly. If we believe we are “good people” and money is “bad”, then we will tend to either struggle to attract it, or lose it almost as fast as we receive it.
If we think we are unworthy and that only “lucky” or “good people” have abundance, then we again, will manage to keep money out of our lives. Then there are the “but what will they think about me if I have it” stories. These are linked to our perceptions that others will reject us if we have more than they do. What about power? We are taught that money is power, yet those who secretly feel internally insecure are often the most likely to hide behind their money or strive to maintain “power over” others with their money.
So, money makes them do this, right? I say “wrong”.
Career Transition seems to be at an all time high and it is only going to continue for many people as the world as we’ve known it falls away and evolves to the next version of expansion. I proactively chose to listen to my inner wisdom and evolve into the next version of my purpose.
You could also call it career or whatever suits you. Just as the Universe continues to evolve and expand, so do we as we are a part of our grand universe. We can either focus on the figment of our imagination known as our past or we can embrace the inevitable change that we are faced with now. Why do I say “inevitable”?
If it has shown up, then it is already here – so it has happened. We suffer when we resist what “is” or refuse to change our perception about these “facts”. Remember, your reality is based on your perception. If you see the glass half full or half empty – you are right!
I have come to make friends with change. Sure there is some change that I only accept and then there is some change that I am outright enthusiastic about. At the very least, my goal is to stay present to what is and while I may have preferences, I do my best not to get attached to having to have things just a certain way or trying to micromanage my world.
This is what surrender is; it does not mean that you have no preference and just take what is handed to you. It just means that you in this moment weigh your options and make a conscious choice in the present moment to shift in your inspired direction. Then, whatever happens, you notice it, and adjust. Inner peace for me is rooted in my awareness that there is more to life than meets the eye.
From a practical point of view, I always thought that I would grow up to meet interesting people, travel the world and be a lifelong learner. Ironically, as I became a young adult and chose the “safe” and socially acceptable path as the physician, little did I know that ultimately it would start to evolve into a career that boxed me in to a limited way of being.
While I enjoyed it very much overall, ultimately, I found myself not growing very much as between being crazy busy and loaded with responsibility, I also was only meeting other ophthalmologists or physicians in my small little niche. My only reprieve was when I went to my husband’s business dinners. Well, ultimately, as my guidance led me on, I listened and followed.
Was it scary? Some days it was. Am I glad I sold my practice and moved on? Yes.
Career transition is quite common considering that many people are searching for more meaning in what they do, or by sheer necessity, they have to make some hard choices. Why are they so hard? Life is really meant to be enjoyed, not one week of drudgery after another.
I heard someone I know say over the weekend how much she dreads Mondays because she hates her job and her boss. This is no way to live. So why is it such a common problem? At the core of the matter is mindset. We don’t know what we even want as our soul’s desire is often buried under a ton of “shoulds”.
Do you know what you really want? Have you even asked yourself this question? I truly understand where this fear comes from as I have had to muster up lots of courage over the years to arrive to where I am in life and that is still constantly changing. My secret?
I felt the fear and moved on through it, while at the same time dealing with the stories that were creating the feelings in the first place. I’ve learned to make friends with change and feelings. I also discovered that there is a little known secret to how thoughts, feelings and emotions wire our brains and our nervous system.
Yes, we are “spiritual beings” having a human experience, yet if you don’t understand the practical implications of how to manage the greatest “supercomputer” on the planet – your own brain and mind – your spiritual power cannot manifest into form – at least not the form you want.
Staying healthy is more important than ever considering the rising rates of cancer and chronic disease in our world – not to mention the expense of healthcare and the emotional fallout. While I personally have healthy nutrition habits and exercise regularly, I do very little specific teaching on what supplements to take or what exercise routine one should be on.
I tend to come from the core of what makes us stay healthy or get sick – mindset. Yes, even disease is related to how you think and feel. In fact, it can make or break you and holistic/integrative physicians already get this.
When we become aware of the role of thoughts, feelings and emotions, we become even more empowered to make healthier choices and actually apply them in the first place. Also, intuitively doesn’t it just make sense that if you think and feel joyful and connected to life, you will feel and be healthier than if you are full of worry, judgment and anger?
In our changing times this information that I am sharing is critical. We are generally conditioned to fear change and by the time the “survival” instinct kicks in, we can find ourselves overwhelmed with worry and anxiety if we are not aware of how to deal with our own brain and nervous system. We think that we have a “right to our opinion” and we certainly do.
The question to ask is, what would you rather be, “right” or healthy? In fact, does it really even matter as to what other people are doing in the details of their life and why waste time looking over the fence into the lives of others? Does our opinion about what others are wearing, doing (particularly if it is legal and not harming others) or how they live their lives, really matter?
Will our opinion change them? Does complaining, worrying or gossiping really create the abundant, prosperous life that you desire? Actually, what I know for sure is that our opinions can be hazardous to not only our body’s health; if left unchecked, they can drain our entire lives. On the other hand, becoming consciously aware of the power of what we think and feel to attract the health and wealth we seek is the most economical and quickest way to achieve it, and this is science, not woo-woo.
Here is a powerful point: Every thought you have has a type of quality of feeling associated with it. When you send out negative opinions with negative feelings about others out into the universe, you ALWAYS feel it in your own body first. This should give new meaning to the ancient proverb: “Do unto to others as you would have others to do unto you”.
Confidence is a key element to empowerment. If you can’t speak up, take risks or all too often buckle under the opinions of others, your gifts and talents will likely never reach authentic expression. Let me say that confidence from the core, authentic self is what I am referring to.
Not the “fake it ’till you make it” to whatever status you believe holds the magical key to empowerment. I’m referring to knowing that you know that the “real you” is already ok, just because you breathe. The starting point from this place is assuming that you are not broken, just in evolution, like the plant in the garden that is in the process of unfolding to its true beauty and potential.
We as a society tend to come from a mindset of lack and deficiency – the old paradigm of selfishness and “survival of the fittest”. This is just one way of seeing life; it is not the only way. We live in a world of infinite potential, and what determines how you experience “reality” is based on your perceptual system. How you wire your brain and nervous system really matters.
And get this; what runs your life is generally the 90% that is out of your awareness and comes from the unconscious part of your mind. So, why is self-love so important and why is it not ok to beat yourself up and put yourself down? Aren’t we taught that this is “humble”? Isn’t it “pride” to think good of yourself? Isn’t it “narcissistic”?
Narcissism stems from fear and is often rooted in insecurity. When you come from core confidence, you know that there is no need to compare yourself and judge worth and value between people. Yes, we vary in the expression of our gifts and talents, yet at our essence, the “founders” of our country had it correct when they said, “all men (and women) are created equal”.
When you come to know this Authentic Self, the essence of your very life force, you can begin to separate yourself from the “stories” of who you think you are that keep you stuck and playing small. These stories that you’ve wired into your mind and nervous system can be re-written when you are ready to accept the challenge. And it is much simpler than you may think.
Staying healthy is not just about going to the gym. This helps, no doubt, yet if you are only focusing on your physical body and ignoring the power of your mind, you are not being as effective if you could be. Why? Dis-Ease starts in the mental and emotional realm.
