Women owned businesses have been the fastest growing segment of new start up entrepreneurial endeavors. I’m glad to see this as I’ve been a professional and an entrepreneur for many, (yes, many) years now.
I have found being an entrepreneur takes a special kind of courage and it can be an amazing platform to grow one up spiritually, mentally, and emotionally. I can tell you story after story of the types of personal growth and expansion experiences that I’ve undergone that would not have presented themselves as dramatically if I had only stayed in the world of the job market.
Now job markets have their place for accelerating personal growth also – especially when they dry up as they are doing now! Our changing times are an opportunity to develop your courage and follow your purpose in developing your business platform to support your soul’s journey in evolving to your true potential.
Now, I want to touch on the biggest dragon that will need to be slain on this journey to fulfillment and empowerment; you may have guessed it, it is the issues that continue to haunt women and society concerning money. Money has been blamed for all manner of “evil”; in fact, people often MIS-QUOTE the Bible saying, “Money is the root of all evil”.
Actually, it said the “love of money” and here love refers to trust in or coveting – it refers to the true root of greed, selfishness and the belief in “not enoughness”. Do you know what this is? It’s FEAR – Fictitious Evidence Affecting Reality. Fear is the root of the perception of evil. Fear of lack, to be more specific and this lack covers everything from lack of love, security and even self-esteem – three fundamental human ego needs. I’m listening to an audiobook called, “Unleashing the Soul of Money” by Lynne Twist. The Universe always brings to me just what I need to explore and to solidify a lesson I’m undergoing.
In recent weeks, I have received many insights into my relationship with money. I’ll share a couple as it relates to the Soul of Money and business. As a young child, I always seemed to easily save and attract money. I never had fear about it; I just assumed I would have lots of it. I had a teenage experience however, that was full of drama, and ultimately, I made a decision; I created a paradigm that was based on a FEAR that money would not be there for me when I needed it.
Confidence and empowerment is something near and dear to my heart, as I know the pain of self-rejection and the hazard of constantly striving to over achieve. It’s not productivity that is the problem; the issue is the mindset in which the goals are set and undertaken.
If we as women buy into the faulty thinking that our worth is based on what we do, what we look like and whom we are trying to please today, we will never have peace of mind, empowerment and personal power or authentic confidence.
The driven behavior that is going on in our society today is not even healthy masculine behavior. Truly healthy masculine energy (not male, -masculine- there is a difference) allows us to move forward into life and get things done. It creates a sense of independence, provision and protection.
Even as women we need to have a balance of these qualities in order to speak up, have courage to go through fear and to keep people out of our space when we need to. These qualities are not limited to males/men. The driven quality that most people attribute to men that we see is really the wounded ego. In fact, men need to live in more balance and tap into the feminine qualities of the Queen also, truth be told. The need to relax, feel and enjoy life is a human need for health and well-being.
The ego, our sense of human identity has its place and I believe that if you did not have one, you would not be able to self-identify yourself. Yes, you can be aware that you have an ego, yet are NOT the ego. You can be aware of yourself as a spiritual being, yet living the human experience via your “role” or as you call yourself, yet not get lost in the ego. This only comes via awareness and spiritual maturity which is a process unique to everyone.
It is not a one size fit all cookie-cutter process. Anyway, the ego wounded pushes and drives us as it gets lost in “survival of the fittest”, judgment, competition, all based in fear. Ego gone wild is fear at its worse. So, in earlier decades of my life, my ego, (I too was lost in it at one time), in its need to survive and get, (notice I said “get” not “receive”) affirmation and what I perceived then as love was always striving to prove that I was “good enough”.
Yet, funny thing was I never truly felt good enough or that I had enough of anything, be it time, energy or money. This is no way to live and accounts for all of the stress, fear and chaos that is going on in the world today, not to mention war, disease and greed. As women, it’s time to see through this nonsense and stop the madness in ourselves first, and then perhaps we can do what the Dalai Lama said in regard to “the western woman saving the world”.
If we don’t save ourselves first, the attempt to play rescuer again is a waste of time and as dysfunctional as ever. If we don’t develop confidence from our CORE, it’s just fake, cosmetic. Living into the Queen is about self-love, self-acceptance, and recognizing the POWER of love and feelings. Our feelings are just a guidance system to reveal to us what we truly perceive; not what we give lip service to.
As human, women and men, we have allowed ourselves to be conditioned like Pavlov’s dog to repress our feelings and run away. When we learn to make friends with them, we then are able to be truly empowered and physically healthier as well. As we face our fears and release this repressed pain-body of emotion that dwells within us at a cellular and energetic level, we can heal. Once we heal our wounded ego, these “cataracts of the soul” can fall away and we can let our Light shine and see others and ourselves more clearly.
Money and career success in general impacts our relationships, our lifestyles and even our health. All around us the workplace and business landscape is shifting. Being a former eye surgeon, I know what it means to invest a lot of time and effort at learning a skill yet, nowadays, there is no profession that is immune from change.
Job transition and entrepreneurship rates are rising rapidly, and depending on your perspective, this can be a “good” or “bad” thing. One thing is for sure – if you want to successfully navigate our changing times with your physical and financial health intact, you will need to consider opening your mind and become aware of what FEAR is – Fictitious Evidence Affecting Reality.
I’m referring to psychological fear. When I wrote my book Empower Up and Play Big which introduces new cutting-edge brain science and practical ways to apply it into our everyday lives, it occurred to me that based on the way our brain works, if we are unaware of managing our attention, it is all to easy to create “stories” of fear of success of fear of failure.
These terms are tossed around loosely and often without much consideration as to what they really mean. From a practical point of view of learning how to “breakthrough fear”, I think it’s important to define what is the root issue in the first place. Fear of failure and success break down into the fear that there is a threat to either our sense of security, love or self-esteem.
If you are familiar with the chakra system of integrative health, you will understand that these are issues in the first three chakra levels, and even if you are not familiar you can still understand the point here, so stay with me. If these two fears are related to these three human needs, how do they play out? In essence “Fear of Failure or Success” show up in our lives as:
Staying healthy is not just about exercise and diet. In fact, breaking through fear is just as much about staying healthy as it is about personal growth. Why?
Fear, psychological fear is what I call Fictitious Evidence Affecting Reality, an acronym I created when I wrote my book,Empower Up and Play Big: Winning at Life from the Inside Out. When we focus on what we don’t want or want to avoid, it creates the stress response in our bodies.The brain and mind cannot tell the difference between facts in front of your eyes and mental movies in your mind with feelings attached.
I say “fictitious” because it is a story, it has not actually happened. It’s just your imagination running away and taking you to worry land. Negative self-talk has the same effect. If you think it is humble to beat yourself up, you are on the fast track to chronic health challenges.
Not to mention, damaging your self-image and confidence. One of the more ignorant socially conditioned beliefs we have is that putting ourselves down is admirable. It’s the old, “that’s just little ‘ole me”, and then we wonder why we feel so self-conscious and insecure when it comes to risk taking or speaking before a crowd.
Law of Attraction was presented to the masses of people popularly via the movie “The Secret”. I know this movie often receives a lot of criticism, however I’m glad that it opened the doors to the conversation of our role in co-creation. Of course the Law of Attraction is not simply “positive thinking”.
It is also not about becoming paranoid if you have a negative thought. (For the record, negative and positive are relative terms of judgment). The idea of positive thinking is not new, as there were many books written about it even decades ago.
It is very important to realize though that your thoughts do absolutely contribute to the “reality” that you experience and this is now science. If this still sounds like “woo-woo” to you, I have to tell you that you simply don’t know what you don’t know. In business and life, if you can make your life easier and more enjoyable and on purpose, why not learn how to do so? One of the main missing ingredients though is the energy of feelings.
You see feelings carry far more magnetic and electrical energy than thought alone. It acts as the glue that wires thought into the body’s nervous system and thus, cellular memory. Once we wire our brain, either with strong emotional response or through repetition, it goes into the subconscious mind. This is when you go on autopilot as far as the action or behavior that is wired is concerned.
This is fine if you like the response and it serves to help you experience your hearts desire. If you have all of the love, joy, peace and abundance you desire great – though we all know that circumstances in business and life are constantly changing.
So if your current situation is not expanding you to your next level of purposeful evolution, you may want to consider the following keys as you consciously intend to use the Law of Attraction to affect change. This list is not intended to be inclusive; I just want to point out 3 important yet common mistakes that are made when attempting to consciously shift in areas of your business or personal life.
Empowerment involves awareness. Becoming aware of how to consciously operate the greatest “supercomputer” on the planet is very important, more now than ever. Guard your focus, because what you focus on expands and if you want an abundant, whole life, focus on what you want and learn how to get excited and expect this. I use to think that the way I saw life was “just the way it is”. Actually, perception, HOW we see the facts that show up in our lives, or what we think we can have or not is relative. It’s relative to what we believe about ourselves and the way “life is”. I have lived in the “hostile” universe model and I am now living in the “friendly” universe model. As Einstein said:
“The most important decision you will ever make is whether you live in a friendly or hostile universe”
Yes, you get to decide. It depends on how you see it. Let me tell you, friendly is much better and peaceful. No, I can’t control everything, and I no longer try, when I stay aware and present (happening more and more these days, yeah!). I do what I can do, feel good, get clear as I can, and release it to the Universe to take care of the details. This is making for an adventurous life instead of a life full of fear, resistance and struggle. You interested? Come join me.
Empowerment is just that – power within, coming from the inside out. This blog post is introducing my new video series, “BreakThrough to the Real YOU”. Do you know that there is an area in the brain known as the area of “autobiographical memory”? It is the STORY of who you think you are. When I wrote my book, “Empower Up and Play Big: Winning at Life from the Inside Out”, I called it the “Mental Me”. You can also call it “ego”.
Career Transition seems to be at an all time high and it is only going to continue for many people as the world as we’ve known it falls away and evolves to the next version of expansion. I proactively chose to listen to my inner wisdom and evolve into the next version of my purpose.
You could also call it career or whatever suits you. Just as the Universe continues to evolve and expand, so do we as we are a part of our grand universe. We can either focus on the figment of our imagination known as our past or we can embrace the inevitable change that we are faced with now. Why do I say “inevitable”?
If it has shown up, then it is already here – so it has happened. We suffer when we resist what “is” or refuse to change our perception about these “facts”. Remember, your reality is based on your perception. If you see the glass half full or half empty – you are right!
I have come to make friends with change. Sure there is some change that I only accept and then there is some change that I am outright enthusiastic about. At the very least, my goal is to stay present to what is and while I may have preferences, I do my best not to get attached to having to have things just a certain way or trying to micromanage my world.
This is what surrender is; it does not mean that you have no preference and just take what is handed to you. It just means that you in this moment weigh your options and make a conscious choice in the present moment to shift in your inspired direction. Then, whatever happens, you notice it, and adjust. Inner peace for me is rooted in my awareness that there is more to life than meets the eye.
From a practical point of view, I always thought that I would grow up to meet interesting people, travel the world and be a lifelong learner. Ironically, as I became a young adult and chose the “safe” and socially acceptable path as the physician, little did I know that ultimately it would start to evolve into a career that boxed me in to a limited way of being.
While I enjoyed it very much overall, ultimately, I found myself not growing very much as between being crazy busy and loaded with responsibility, I also was only meeting other ophthalmologists or physicians in my small little niche. My only reprieve was when I went to my husband’s business dinners. Well, ultimately, as my guidance led me on, I listened and followed.
Was it scary? Some days it was. Am I glad I sold my practice and moved on? Yes.
Career transition is quite common considering that many people are searching for more meaning in what they do, or by sheer necessity, they have to make some hard choices. Why are they so hard? Life is really meant to be enjoyed, not one week of drudgery after another.
I heard someone I know say over the weekend how much she dreads Mondays because she hates her job and her boss. This is no way to live. So why is it such a common problem? At the core of the matter is mindset. We don’t know what we even want as our soul’s desire is often buried under a ton of “shoulds”.
Do you know what you really want? Have you even asked yourself this question? I truly understand where this fear comes from as I have had to muster up lots of courage over the years to arrive to where I am in life and that is still constantly changing. My secret?
I felt the fear and moved on through it, while at the same time dealing with the stories that were creating the feelings in the first place. I’ve learned to make friends with change and feelings. I also discovered that there is a little known secret to how thoughts, feelings and emotions wire our brains and our nervous system.
Yes, we are “spiritual beings” having a human experience, yet if you don’t understand the practical implications of how to manage the greatest “supercomputer” on the planet – your own brain and mind – your spiritual power cannot manifest into form – at least not the form you want.
Career transition has money and career on many women’s minds lately. Since many women are sensing the change in the air, I’ve heard several comments about using this time of workplace instability to “find your bliss”.
What I’ve noticed is that often it is believed that if you “just do what you love”, you will be successful and your hobby will morph into a business that can take the place of your job. It would be nice if all we had to do were “build it and they will come”.
Nowadays, this is not even the case and what is really not likely to happen is that you will suddenly find yourself with a thriving business by simply following your bliss. No, what you are going to have to do is have a vision and a plan in place to put structure to your bliss so that it can take form in the marketplace.
This I know for sure, as I currently am following my bliss and I’ve had to take lots of action to turn it into a business. When I was a practicing physician opening a brick and mortar office it was obvious. Starting an online business or building a speaking or coaching business is no different in that you still have to know where you want to go and put structure around your ideas to bring it into manifestation.
If you do not, your bliss is going to stay a hobby. It is easy for people to get confused when they hear already successful people say things like “don’t worry about the money, just do your bliss” and assume that the well known successful one just became that way by showing up. If it were that simple everyone would just follow their bliss and watch the employees, programs, education and training and all other support just show up.
While I would not suggest you ever “worry” about money, (it’s a great way to stay broke or stress out trying to get and hang on to it – worry is a form of lack consciousness), the truth is, you are going to have to take action and do some planning. So, what are some things you need to consider as you consider leaving that job you hate or if you have been laid off?
Here are some things I did as I decided to continue to grow and move on to my next career adventure:
Women owned businesses have been the fastest growing segment of new start up entrepreneurial endeavors. I’m glad to see this as I’ve been a professional and an entrepreneur for many, (yes, many) years now.
