Confidence and self-esteem boils down to this: you are making it all up. Think about it. Where do you get the ideas to judge yourself by? Why do you think you are born unworthy?

Is that the absolute “Truth”? How do you know? Who told you this? Why do you accept it as true? These are some of the questions I eventually asked myself, as I broke free from the fear of “thinking outside of the box”.

Granted, at one time in our social history we were highly likely to die if the “tribe” kicked us out of the group, but nowadays, with so many options available, you can always find a new “tribe”.

I know that there are feelings involved, however, I’ve come to the conclusion that if someone does not care enough about my well-being to support what is dear and near to my heart (they don’t have to agree, but they don’t have to reject me over it), then it’s just time for me to get over it and move on.

The more comfortable I am in my own skin, the easier it is to move on. After all, I have to live with me; I have no choice (I don’t a have desire to check out of my body). I just say, “there’s only you and me so let’s just disagree” and move on if we cannot work it out – no harm done. Anyway, as far as forming our self-esteem, what we believe about our selves come from a variety of sources when we are not aware of what belief is and how it rules our world.

It comes from genetic tendencies, (karma for some), environmental factors (religion, schools, society) and childhood stories that we innocently make up about ourselves. Children believe that everything is their fault in general, and typically blame themselves for everything that upsets them. All of these things create the story of who you think you are. In fact there is an area of the brain known as the area that records your “autobiographical memory”.

Folks, we are making it up as we go. Our self-worth is the story of our self-esteem that we believe. Confidence comes with taking action in a conscious manner despite some feelings of fear. We selectively remember events based on their emotional memory and we interpret these events according to our own individual perception. Perception is based on thoughts, feelings and emotions, how you “see” the world.

The more fear-based you are, the more challenging the story. If you tend to perceive the good in self and others, the more pleasant your perceptions will tend to be. The fear-based stories about “how life is” that are typical of where most people live their lives are nothing but “Fictitious Evidence Affecting Reality”.

Especially when it comes to thoughts about who you think YOU are as a person. Yes, reality is relative. It is based on how you perceive the world, what you notice and stay focused on. This world is full of dramas of every kind and where you find yourself ultimately is related to what you believe and expect to find. Our brains look for what we’ve programmed in, and tends to ignore what we don’t expect.

Belief is ultimately something that you have accepted as true and now identify with, so you keep looking for it and unconsciously noticing it in the world around you. Think people are mean and envious? Be it unto you, as you believe. Think people are kind and supportive? Be it unto you, as you believe. I’ve been on both sides of this belief and I can tell you that I found what I was looking for in either case.

It just depends where my own dominant vibration is as to what I attract and experience. I am now more and more disciplined about focusing on where I am going, what I want instead of where I have been and what I don’t want. So since I want more love in my life, and a healthy sense of confidence and self-esteem, I choose my thoughts wisely and examine the nonsense that does not take me there.

I am no longer accepting as true beliefs that are really just opinions of others about what they may think about themselves or me, but that is none of my business. We raise our confidence and self-esteem by re-wiring our brains, creating new stories, and our bodies will naturally start moving in the direction of where we want to go.

Confidence and self-esteem starts with changing your script to a more productive way of imaging (imagining) yourself. What are your thoughts about this?

Tags: Confidence, Empowerment, Neuroscience, Self-Esteem

This entry was posted on Friday, February 19th, 2010 at 4:22 pm and is filed under Brain, Confidence and Self-Esteem. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.