First of all, unless you want to damage the left hemisphere of your brain (which was her challenge when she had the stroke), you are going to have a sense of “identity” which is what the ego is. It is the mental construct of the “false self”.

Ego is imbedded within your personality. Within the word personality is “persona”, which means, “mask”. It is not the real you, it is what I call the “Mental Me”; the story of who you THINK you are. This is in opposition to the “Magnificent Me” that most people apparently are not aware of.

The Magnificent Me is the Authentic Self, the Real Deal, not the memory you hold of yourself based on genetics (karma if you are so inclined), environment and simply the illogical mind of the child you once were. Most of our sense of limited identity starts in early childhood, which is when we are most susceptible and predisposed to believing the opinions of others and making up the meaning of our experiences.

It is not what happens to you; it is HOW you interpret the facts of your experience that determines the meaning that is assigned. This is what perception is in a nutshell. This would explain why one person can experience an event as horribly traumatic while for another it may just be “water off a duck’s back”.

We need an ego to play the game of life as a “separate” individual. I say, “separate” as we are all really connected at the quantum field, energetic level. In fact, we are all “one”. We all come from the One Source and yet we all have different soul memories and experiences that are unique to us. This is the diversity of life.

It’s wonderful as long as you keep your ego in a healthy condition. The problem is that most people have “wounded” egos. When the ego is wounded is sees life through the eyes of survival and fear – FEAR = Fictitious Evidence Affecting Reality. In other words, stories that impact how you experience reality, as reality is relative.

I call these stories “cataracts of the soul”. They cover our Light, the light of our souls and keep our lives constricted and living in the dark. They also keep us from shining and seeing the light in others with a strong tendency to focus on what is wrong with the world instead of the beauty that is here right now, all around us – if we could only perceive it!

So, don’t waste your time trying to become “egoless”. If you are blissed out 24/7 you would be of no earthly good. The key is to eliminate the blind spots, these “cataracts” so that the Authentic Self is at the helm of the ship of your life. You can be present in your awareness of the now moment, and live with joy, peace and love, while at the same time move forward actively engaged in everyday life.

Your personality, the Mental Me, is meant to serve the Magnificent Me. The ego thinks it’s the queen or king, but it is to be the servant that allows you to take your Divinely inspired ideas and bring it into manifested form. Then you can be free to be, the “Magnificent Me”. What do you think about this?

Well, for one thing, what the French author Anais Nin said many years ago is true:

“We don’t see things the way they are; we see them as we are”

You will not ever really rise above your own self-image. You may outwardly look pretty good, but inside, you won’t have peace of mind if you are always comparing your sense of self-worth, or even your material possessions to someone else.

This behavior often also impacts your attitude and the altitude that you rise to in life. You will always find someone who has more or less than you in some area. This is true whether the comparison is love, money, beauty or intelligence.

The answer is not in finding someone less than you to make you feel good about yourself. The answer is to learn how to love and accept yourself independent of the world around you. I had someone ask me recently in regard to her thoughts about feeling inadequate, “what if what they say is correct”?

Here’s my short answer. Everyone has their opinion and most of it is just a projection onto you of their own self-judgment. You see, what you do is not the same as who you are in your essence. What you do does reveal your character at the moment and it does reflect your level of consciousness, but consciousness shifts. What you do changes.

Even the roles you play changes. The external world is constantly shifting and changing. The key to personal power and peace of mind is to learn how to separate who you know you are from who you THINK you are.

You are not your thoughts, strictly speaking. Thoughts are limiting, defining perceptions created by your linear “logical” mind. Thoughts are really energy/information that is interpreted based on the way you have wired your nervous system. It’s like the paint on the artist’s palette that draws and colors the picture; but it is only a picture, and not the ultimate truth.

Feelings come and go and they create experience in your body. The trick is to recognize these passing thoughts and feelings as human experiences, a part of the drama of life. If you can experience without attaching your very sense of identity to the experience, then you can live a life of self-mastery. It’s when we connect our sense of identity, our need for love, security and self-esteem with fear and the need to control and feel safe outside of ourselves that we lose ourselves.

Our true identity, our Authentic Self is cannot be limited and defined, as it is spirit.  This is why a spiritual practice that elevates your awareness of your connection to Life is so important. When you can feel the love and light of the Universe in a personal way, you will not need to chase it down from others.

You will have more courage to learn and grow to expand your network and your business. You will become less “self” conscious and more aware of others and the opportunities all around you. The decrease in stress alone will help your body to feel healthier and stronger.

Not to mention how much more likely you are to experience happier, healthier relationships. How much nicer it is to look into the mirror with eyes of compassion and admiration for who God has created you, uniquely, to be.

When you can look into the Mirror of Life and have reflected back to you a life of passion, peace and prosperity, you will know that you are now seeing clearly within the vision for your life that allows you to shine. One that gives and receives and allows you to lead a life that is well lived.

How you see yourself, your sense of self-esteem, does impact your confidence and how you lead your life and it all begins from inside out.  Do you see any where in your world where self-esteem issues hold either you back or someone you know?  What do you think about this?

As long as you are “looking for love in all the wrong places” you will not find it. You must first begin within and then you will see it “with out” – out there in the world. Now ego gets a bad rap and a lot of people who are seeking spiritual principles are inclined to think that they need to get rid of it.

Another challenge I see in people seeking spiritual awareness is that they tend to judge almost everything in sight! Well, one spiritual truth that has made all the difference in my world is learning to stop judging people, including myself – actually, especially myself.

As I’ve come to embrace the “shadow” parts of my ego, forgive myself and “upgrade” the beliefs around these parts of my self, I’ve become more compassionate and loving towards others. Judgment is a tool to show us where we need to develop compassion in ourselves, for others and ourselves.

It is not about condoning behavior; it is about transmuting it. It is about changing the energy around the beliefs about the behavior as a reflection of who you THINK you are. You see, what you do is NOT the same as WHO you are.

We get the two confused because we have been conditioned to believe as children that our self-worth comes from our performance. This is a characteristic of the “wounded” fear-driven ego. The ego is needed to be human however.

The key to power is in recognizing that the Authentic You is not the ego. The challenge is to stay aware and present in the moment enough to realize that you are playing a role; ego is not really the real YOU as the Being. In fact, there is an area in our brains, the area of “autobiographical memory” that allows you to function as a social person (actually persona or “mask”) in the world.

If you had no ego you would not say, “my name is so and so”. You would not be able to distinguish your body/self from another. It would be like experiencing a left-hemisphere stroke of your brain. So forgot about getting rid of your ego, it is just another misunderstanding made on the evolutionary journey to your personal power.

Instead, learn how to heal the misperceptions you hold, that you have wired into the brain. This is the “shadow”. The stories we have created about who we think we are that we have a lot of negative emotion around in our cellular memory and we keep avoiding dealing with it. If we would learn how to access these parts of ourselves and deal with them, which can be done without a lot of emotional shock if you know how to work with energy, you can empower yourself in quantum leaps!

You see, you also need a healthy ego to express in a healthy way in the world. You need to be able to speak up and push back when some of those dysfunctional egos come at you to try to manipulate your money out of your pockets or to have forceful control over your choices. If you don’t heal your ego shadows, you will have a tendency to be a “pleaser” who cannot not speak up for your own truth and is more concerned about being liked than being honest about your own soul’s needs.

So the root of self-esteem is connected with healing the ego’s misperceptions, the stories of the “Mental Me” so that the True, Authentic Self of you can “glow on” and let your Light shine.  I call this the “Magnificent Me”.  When you learn how to transmute these shadows of the ego, it will turn into the gold of love energy, (see what an alchemist you are?), the love energy that is the substrate of all things.

It’s just that your consciousness, which has been clouded over by fear is distorting the love light that is already the Truth of who you really are. Self-esteem has to come from the inside out or it is just another “fiction of your imagination”. What do you think?

And why can’t we see that even if we temporarily feel better by getting what we want outside of ourselves that it is a shaky proposition at best? Well, it’s wired into our brains and body. Since memory is held in the body at a cellular level, it is not going anywhere until we learn how to change it.

Here’s a key: memory is a story that you create. Yes, facts happen, events happen, but it is the MEANING that you assign makes all of the difference. And you will assign your meaning primarily based upon your own self-image.

If you feel powerless and insecure you will view how someone reacted to you differently than someone who loves themselves and “knows that they know” that what they do is NOT who they are – two very different things.

When I have my identity wrapped up in my activity, roles and appearance, I will be very vulnerable to change. When I realize that my essence is separate and apart from what others think about me, I can make a conscious decision to respond with confidence and power rather than being knocked over by the opinion of someone who at the end of the day will not expand my life in any way.

We can’t have peace of mind until we change the thoughts about life that keep us chasing this elusive state of being. I grew up on many beliefs that were held as “common sense”. They may be common but they make no sense if you want to live an empowered, abundant and happy life. What are some of these beliefs?

1. “No pain, no gain” – Who says? Since I stopped expecting pain, I’m gaining more inner peace, joy and abundance than I’ve ever experienced before.

2. “I have to work hard to be successful” – No, you may have to be persistent, disciplined and do a good job, but you do not have to wear yourself out to get things done – this is purely a mindset issue.

3. “I should face reality” – Whose reality? True, you need to live up to your obligations but to keep your focus on what is going on in your world that you do not like will only keep it in place. Use your imagination to take you to where you want to go to get unstuck.

4. “What I do is who I am” – Oh really? Than this explains why so many people feel lost and go through an identity crisis when they lose their jobs. Your work is what the real “YOU” is experiencing, it does not change the essence of who you are.

5. “I will be happy when tomorrow (event/person/possession) comes” – only tomorrow never arrives as when it does it is called “today”. And chances are, the “happiness” is short-lived and fragile. In the meantime, we are forever chasing happiness in the next thing that is on its way – supposedly.

Hopefully you understand that I’m not saying that we cannot desire “things” or that having titles or roles are a “bad” thing. No, I’m just saying that inner peace is the starting point if you want to build a life that is strong and can weather the storms of life.

Life will have storms; it is a matter of “when” not “if”. I’m not talking airy-fairy or woo-woo here. I’m talking practical matters of just learning how to manage your own brain and mind. Learning how to make friends with change and emotions, which are two things you are guaranteed to experience as long as you have life in your body.

So instead of making your journey one of fear and suffering, why not examine what you believe and update the ones that no longer serve you? Remember, YOU are not your thoughts and beliefs, but your thoughts and beliefs will determine your peace of mind and experience on the stage of life! What do you believe about beliefs?

If it does not empower me to live a healthy, happy and prosperous life – it just has to go. The ideas have outlived their welcome. There was a time in my life when I used to blame the devil for the drama in my life.

It was a funny thing; I wondered how was it that this devil knew all of my thoughts? How was it that it could “make” me do anything and how was it creating the drama in my life and fear thoughts? Here’s something interesting – spell devil backwards and notice what you get.

Devil is “Lived” spelled backwards. Well, knowing what I know now, I’d say I was living my life backwards all right. In fact I commonly lived with regret and worry all the time. Or, I was unforgiving and bitter about something from my past. I rarely lived in the present moment.

Here’s something else. Notice that “evil” is “live” backwards. I personally don’t see life as “the devil made me do it” anymore at all. In fact, the closest thing I see to some devil is a wounded ego. I don’t believe that the ego is the enemy; it is just that if your thoughts and your sense of self formed in the brain’s area of “autobiographical memory” is full of negative perceptions, you will wire your nervous system with negative self-talk.

Your ego, or “false sense of self” just needs to have its stories re-written, so to speak. These thoughts/beliefs literally get wired into your body at a cellular level. Well, when your negative wounded ego storyteller gets going, you start thinking negative thoughts and acting on them.

This is the source of those negative thoughts. There’s no devil doing anything. It is just your unconscious management of your life happening. You are living your life going in the wrong direction. Instead of learning the “secrets of the Universe”, the principles that will expand your life and bring peace and joy, you are inadvertently creating fear and drama for yourself.

The key to empowering spirituality is to heal an unforgiving perception so that your heart can open and heal, and you can start to remove the emotional blockages that block your Light from shining and that constrict the vision for your life.

Practical spirituality based on universal principles instead of folklore or hand-me-down systems that you have outgrown, is something that can help you to live a healthy, happy and prosperous life.  Once the wounded ego is healed of its emotional blocks and healthy flow restored, those devils and boogymen under the bed will probably flow right on out of your awareness as well!  Any thoughts?

I read an interesting discussion somewhere this week that discussed the issue of forgiveness.  In summary, the author was asking the question about whether forgiving someone is necessary or really valid.  On the table was also the issue of whether or not forgiveness is even possible.  I had the sense that the perspective was, as it is so often, that forgiveness was for the perpetrator, versus the “victim”.

This issue about who is forgiveness for is the point of confusion that leads to the downfall of so many people.  Forgiveness as a benefit is NOT for the perpetrator – it is for the person who feels wronged!  “What?” you may ask.  “How so”?

Forgiveness is of extreme importance for you, the person who feels harmed.  Holding a grudge against someone is quite literally like taking poison and expecting the other person to die.  When you hold unforgiveness and bitterness in your heart, you are setting yourself up to recycle negative energy in your body at a cellular level.

It has been shown in medical studies, that bitterness and chronically held anger is associated with such diseases as chronic arthritis and cancer, just to name a few.  When we self-righteously hold someone else in bondage within our own minds, we poison our own bodies.  I say “self-righteous” because if you are past the age of two, you probably have made mistakes somewhere with someone, in some relationship.

Also, this is how “button pushing” gets set up.  The very things that we feel like a victim over, we are likely to react vehemently in future similar situations that remind us of our previous wound.  Also, have you ever noticed that many self-righteous people often commit the same crimes that they are judging someone else for?

In psychology, this is known as “Projection”.  Until we heal the parts of ourselves that we are uncomfortable with, we tend to look for these same flaws in others and point them out so that we can unconsciously take the focus off of our own issue.  It’s the “I would never do such a thing” point of view.  Well, keep living.  Hopefully you won’t, but life is full of surprises.  By the Grace of God, you may escape certain experiences.  Compassion for others makes this possibility more likely.

The problem of course is this behavior keeps our own weaknesses alive and well.  While we cannot control others, if we really want to be powerful personally, that is empowered, we have to “shake the dust off our feet”, learn how to forgive and move on.

Forgiveness does not mean that you have to continue to allow the other person into your world.  Please notice also, that I am not saying that it is easy.  I am saying for certain, that it is possible.  By forgiving them, you take away the power of the negative memory to hold your energy in bondage to painful drama memories that will only cause further destruction in your own spirit, mind, emotions and physical body.  The need to forgive in order to live free of pain and unhappiness yourself, is a principle.

You choose, for empowerment is a choice!