If networking is new for you, or a skill that you never took the time to develop with intention, like anything else that is new and involves putting yourself out there, it can be intimidating at first.

Remember that growth is often preceded by discomfort; however, it does not have to be painful. Excitement can be uncomfortable also, so it just depends on how you are focusing – focusing on fear or confidence?

Are you expecting the best from yourself and others or fearing rejection? Even rejection is a mindset issue. Rejection can actually be like “water off a duck’s back” as long as you don’t take it personally or tie your sense of self-worth to needing the approval from others.

It just depends on the story you tell yourself ABOUT yourself and the meaning you give to the word “no”. This all being said, our attitude about “rugged individualism” needs to be evolved and updated if you are going to succeed in this new environment we are all finding ourselves in.

I think it is great to have motivation to step out of our box and out of our comfort zone to build our confidence. It also illustrates why it is so important to understand that our beliefs and thoughts need to be flexible and fluid if we are to live to our highest levels of possibility.

Just because something use to work, does not mean it still will today. I like the motto, “I believe what I believe – until I change my mind”. Your behavior and beliefs are not “just the way you are” – no it’s just the way you are behaving or being due to your thinking and feeling, i.e. beliefs. You have permission to change – if you give it to yourself.

While I think our times dictate development of our individual self, our boundaries and talents, it is a paradigm that includes meeting our own needs to grow first, SO THAT we are healthier and self-fulfilled in our service to others. It is important to nurture and grow ourselves as we serve others; the day of the doormat is also over.

If you continue to be a doormat to the neglect of managing your own energy, you are risking the development of disease in your body. This may sound extreme, but it is very real when you understand the mind-body connection and health. It is important to authentically connect with others and develop relationships, not just call up people when you need something.

I was so busy as an eye surgeon/mother/wife/physician caretaker, that I did not need to network and had very little time for relationships even though I wanted more social interaction in my professional world. My family background did not encourage network building either, so I have had to set my intention to develop this skill.

Fortunately, I am naturally outgoing, yet, I know of people who were not and now they are very successful at connecting with others and also connecting people to people. It can be done though again, you may have to call on your CORE confidence to do it! Think about it, don’t you feel slimed when someone does not support you or ignores you until they think you have something they need? And then they call wanting to “pick your brain” and suck up your energy and time? This is really shortsighted and will not help you in business these days, that’s for sure.

Just notice the explosion in social media. The writing is on the wall. People want relationships. Here are 3 tips that I’ve learned so far as I continue to grow in my confidence and awareness of relationship building:

1. “Dig the well before you are thirsty” as Harvey Mackay has said. Building relationships take an investment of time. Notice I said “investment”. It’s not “spending” or “wasting” time. If you unconsciously see people through this type of constrictive lens, they will notice. When you understand the value of honoring others and giving and receiving knowledge/wisdom, experiences, you can appreciate people more. Also of course, we all want to feel connected to others in a genuine and authentic way.

2. Listen – People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care, as it’s said. This is true. I learned this as an eye surgeon. One day as I was reflecting on my new business here, I asked myself, “How was I so successful as an eye surgeon without much networking or advertising?” The answer? My patients KNEW how much I cared, that I listened to them as valued people, and that I had their best interest at heart. They felt loved. When I saw this, my attitude really shifted in my new business. I don’t have a “business” as much as a platform to develop myself and unfold my purpose in service to the world and this has to come from the heart ultimately. Yes, I’ve had to learn tons of new skills, yet at the end of the day, I had to remember to stay connected from my passion, my heart and care about individuals, not just my clients, seeing their light within and valuing them. As far as networking goes, I built my practice in a different era, and being a doctor is not the same field as the business of being a speaker, author and mindset coach.

3. The Leader is the Servant of All – again forget the hierarchy of “power over” and “what’s in it for me”. I’m finding just as I did as a physician, that when we are living from our purpose and leading with passion and enthusiasm with integrity, with an attitude of service, “what’s in it for me” is obvious. In fact, your “cup will overflow” when you stop worrying about this and just give your best. If you are going to be for yourself, you will end up being by yourself. Of course, I’m practical so, make sure that you have the business structure in place to be able to receive. I’m not talking airy-fairy here. Keep it real.

So, while I was a fan of the Lone Ranger reruns as a kid (I think it was because of my unconscious belief in those years that I did not fit in with my family – who knows), if you live as the Lone Ranger, be forewarned that the sun has gone down on this paradigm. While we need to be able to develop our personal power and confidence so that we can speak our truth with love and fulfill our individual purpose and possibly mission, we need to do it in an interconnected way, not just for what we can take from others.

Confidence in networking grows as we breakthrough our fears and learn to embrace who we are as we learn how to better connect with others. What you do think? Do you think collaboration is an idea whose time has come, or do you think the Lone Ranger can continue to prosper?

Core confidence comes from the inside out as does empowerment. Empower is just that, power coming from within. When I refer to core, I’m referring to the Authentic Self AND I see an acronym within the word.

C is for Courage, O is for Open-mind, R is for Reflection and E is for Enthusiasm. Within the word enthusiasm is “theos” which refers to God/Spirit and “en” is “in”/within.

So, in order to be truly empowered, your confidence and sense of self-esteem has to start from the inside out. As long as you look outside of yourself for security, love and self-esteem you are in trouble. Why do we allow others to tell us who we are and what we can do?

It’s primarily because we don’t trust ourselves. We’ve forgotten how to listen to our own intuition and guidance from spirit. We don’t “trust our gut”. This tends to come from years of not believe aware of how e wire our beliefs and just giving away our power out of fear of rejection. While rejection is particularly scary for children, and I do understand why, as grown adult women, we can make a decision and then set an intention to learn how to let go of the old stories that are wired into our own brain, nervous system and hence body.

Yes, this does require courage. Courage is not the absence of fear. FEAR here as referred to is Fictitious Evidence Affecting Reality – it’s psychological in nature. When I first started this journey, I had to first open my mind to new ideas. Trying to get a new result using the same information and doing things the same way really is a form of “insanity”.

I had to reflect on the thoughts feelings and emotions and stop judging them and running away. There is much wisdom to be gained from reframing our stories.   I learned how to make friends with them and “update” my belief system.

Lastly, instead of looking for transient artificial happiness “out there” somewhere, I realized that as I dropped the old stories that my body felt different, my perception of self and others changed, and I started feeling natural joy within – and it was more often than not independent of what was going on around me.

This is true enthusiasm. It comes from within, from the Authentic, spirit self. You see you do not need to seek the Light outside of you; the Light is already within you. Our behaviors and attitudes are not the same as who/what we are. They are just a reflection of what we believe. In fact, at your core, you are already “ok” right now – just because you breathe. What do you think?

Empowerment and confidence is about choice. It’s about awareness at it’s foundation as if you are not aware that you have choice, you will not exercise your will and your will will become flabby.

While I think that we have natural gifts and talents and that we have a purpose that is unique to us, I believe that whether or not you live out your purpose or just your fate (meaning weaknesses, strengths, environmental and genetic tendencies) will be determined by how clear you are and how much courage you have. Courage and confidence does not mean you have no fear.

Fear is ubiquitous and is just a part of the human game. What will determine if you can feel the fearful feelings and proceed forward anyway is based upon how awake and aware you are about the options that you have. Do you believe you are “only human” or are you also tapping into your intuition and spiritual nature?

If not, you are weakening yourself and doing yourself a disservice. Are you are of how to consciously operate your own brain and mind? Or is it set on the default button of FEAR: Fictitious Evidence Affecting Reality? Either way, there is no judgment from me, I don’t think it’s “good or bad”.

The question is, do you want to live an abundant whole life or do you want to continue to play the role of the hapless victim and miss out on the incredible experience that you could have if you would choose to stop listening to the outer voices that keep you stuck, struggle and playing small.

You too can begin to Empower UP and Play Big when you learn how to get in touch with your CORE confidence from the Authentic YOU and learn how to operate the greatest “supercomputer” on the planet – your own brain and mind. Who do you think you are? It’s time to “Breakthrough to the Real YOU”! What do you think?

Not the “fake it ’till you make it” to whatever status you believe holds the magical key to empowerment. I’m referring to knowing that you know that the “real you” is already ok, just because you breathe. The starting point from this place is assuming that you are not broken, just in evolution, like the plant in the garden that is in the process of unfolding to its true beauty and potential.

We as a society tend to come from a mindset of lack and deficiency – the old paradigm of selfishness and “survival of the fittest”. This is just one way of seeing life; it is not the only way. We live in a world of infinite potential, and what determines how you experience “reality” is based on your perceptual system. How you wire your brain and nervous system really matters.

And get this; what runs your life is generally the 90% that is out of your awareness and comes from the unconscious part of your mind. So, why is self-love so important and why is it not ok to beat yourself up and put yourself down? Aren’t we taught that this is “humble”? Isn’t it “pride” to think good of yourself? Isn’t it “narcissistic”?

Narcissism stems from fear and is often rooted in insecurity. When you come from core confidence, you know that there is no need to compare yourself and judge worth and value between people. Yes, we vary in the expression of our gifts and talents, yet at our essence, the “founders” of our country had it correct when they said, “all men (and women) are created equal”.

When you come to know this Authentic Self, the essence of your very life force, you can begin to separate yourself from the “stories” of who you think you are that keep you stuck and playing small. These stories that you’ve wired into your mind and nervous system can be re-written when you are ready to accept the challenge. And it is much simpler than you may think.

In the meantime, rejecting yourself will only keep you stuck. Why or how does this work? Here are 3 reasons why self-love is not narcissism and why you want to convert to self-love and stop putting yourself down.

1. Narcissism by definition is rooted in fear and judgment. It is seeking hierarchy and “power over” others based on comparison and disrespect. When we come from “I am better than you” or “my needs are most important – period”, we are coming from lack. Often, low self-esteem and self-absorption based on this is the cause of narcissism.

2. Self-love stems from awareness of the Divine spirit that is within you and the source of life itself. It has to do with respect for self and all of life and just acknowledges the gift of life that you are. It is compassionate and says, “I’m growing” and I can see the abundance in light in life, instead of coming from a place of fear and lack. It is giving our self space to grow and expand without shame and guilt – which are the two “terrorizing twins” that keep us playing small and losing in life. Love grows and expands us; fear constricts.

3. One cannot rise above and stay above their self-image. Your brain seeks to make you “right” in the way that you really “see” yourself (self-image). When I lived in self-rejection, I used sheer will power to push my way to my goals in the hopes of finding abundance and peace. What I realized is that self-sabotage, in its many forms (even Tiger had to learn this one), will kick in if you do not deal with the “blind spots” that distort your self-image in a proactive way. Also, be informed that negative self-talk has been shown to provoke the stress response in your body and stress accounts for up to 90% of primary care doctor visits. Your subconscious mind is going to show you via the Mirror of Life what you REALLY believe about yourself and life.

In this time of change there is also great opportunity for growth. The more you embrace who you are, with love and compassion, the more likely you are to be kind and accepting of others. This is a winning formula for success as when you feel deserving of success, you can stop all of the procrastination and confusion around your business success, relationships and you are even likely to stay healthier and have more life energy.

Core confidence can only come from the inside out when you make the time to consider – and love – who you really are.  What do you think?

Well, for one thing, what the French author Anais Nin said many years ago is true:

“We don’t see things the way they are; we see them as we are”

You will not ever really rise above your own self-image. You may outwardly look pretty good, but inside, you won’t have peace of mind if you are always comparing your sense of self-worth, or even your material possessions to someone else.

This behavior often also impacts your attitude and the altitude that you rise to in life. You will always find someone who has more or less than you in some area. This is true whether the comparison is love, money, beauty or intelligence.

The answer is not in finding someone less than you to make you feel good about yourself. The answer is to learn how to love and accept yourself independent of the world around you. I had someone ask me recently in regard to her thoughts about feeling inadequate, “what if what they say is correct”?

Here’s my short answer. Everyone has their opinion and most of it is just a projection onto you of their own self-judgment. You see, what you do is not the same as who you are in your essence. What you do does reveal your character at the moment and it does reflect your level of consciousness, but consciousness shifts. What you do changes.

Even the roles you play changes. The external world is constantly shifting and changing. The key to personal power and peace of mind is to learn how to separate who you know you are from who you THINK you are.

You are not your thoughts, strictly speaking. Thoughts are limiting, defining perceptions created by your linear “logical” mind. Thoughts are really energy/information that is interpreted based on the way you have wired your nervous system. It’s like the paint on the artist’s palette that draws and colors the picture; but it is only a picture, and not the ultimate truth.

Feelings come and go and they create experience in your body. The trick is to recognize these passing thoughts and feelings as human experiences, a part of the drama of life. If you can experience without attaching your very sense of identity to the experience, then you can live a life of self-mastery. It’s when we connect our sense of identity, our need for love, security and self-esteem with fear and the need to control and feel safe outside of ourselves that we lose ourselves.

Our true identity, our Authentic Self is cannot be limited and defined, as it is spirit.  This is why a spiritual practice that elevates your awareness of your connection to Life is so important. When you can feel the love and light of the Universe in a personal way, you will not need to chase it down from others.

You will have more courage to learn and grow to expand your network and your business. You will become less “self” conscious and more aware of others and the opportunities all around you. The decrease in stress alone will help your body to feel healthier and stronger.

Not to mention how much more likely you are to experience happier, healthier relationships. How much nicer it is to look into the mirror with eyes of compassion and admiration for who God has created you, uniquely, to be.

When you can look into the Mirror of Life and have reflected back to you a life of passion, peace and prosperity, you will know that you are now seeing clearly within the vision for your life that allows you to shine. One that gives and receives and allows you to lead a life that is well lived.

How you see yourself, your sense of self-esteem, does impact your confidence and how you lead your life and it all begins from inside out.  Do you see any where in your world where self-esteem issues hold either you back or someone you know?  What do you think about this?

As long as you are “looking for love in all the wrong places” you will not find it. You must first begin within and then you will see it “with out” – out there in the world. Now ego gets a bad rap and a lot of people who are seeking spiritual principles are inclined to think that they need to get rid of it.

Another challenge I see in people seeking spiritual awareness is that they tend to judge almost everything in sight! Well, one spiritual truth that has made all the difference in my world is learning to stop judging people, including myself – actually, especially myself.

As I’ve come to embrace the “shadow” parts of my ego, forgive myself and “upgrade” the beliefs around these parts of my self, I’ve become more compassionate and loving towards others. Judgment is a tool to show us where we need to develop compassion in ourselves, for others and ourselves.

It is not about condoning behavior; it is about transmuting it. It is about changing the energy around the beliefs about the behavior as a reflection of who you THINK you are. You see, what you do is NOT the same as WHO you are.

We get the two confused because we have been conditioned to believe as children that our self-worth comes from our performance. This is a characteristic of the “wounded” fear-driven ego. The ego is needed to be human however.

The key to power is in recognizing that the Authentic You is not the ego. The challenge is to stay aware and present in the moment enough to realize that you are playing a role; ego is not really the real YOU as the Being. In fact, there is an area in our brains, the area of “autobiographical memory” that allows you to function as a social person (actually persona or “mask”) in the world.

If you had no ego you would not say, “my name is so and so”. You would not be able to distinguish your body/self from another. It would be like experiencing a left-hemisphere stroke of your brain. So forgot about getting rid of your ego, it is just another misunderstanding made on the evolutionary journey to your personal power.

Instead, learn how to heal the misperceptions you hold, that you have wired into the brain. This is the “shadow”. The stories we have created about who we think we are that we have a lot of negative emotion around in our cellular memory and we keep avoiding dealing with it. If we would learn how to access these parts of ourselves and deal with them, which can be done without a lot of emotional shock if you know how to work with energy, you can empower yourself in quantum leaps!

You see, you also need a healthy ego to express in a healthy way in the world. You need to be able to speak up and push back when some of those dysfunctional egos come at you to try to manipulate your money out of your pockets or to have forceful control over your choices. If you don’t heal your ego shadows, you will have a tendency to be a “pleaser” who cannot not speak up for your own truth and is more concerned about being liked than being honest about your own soul’s needs.

So the root of self-esteem is connected with healing the ego’s misperceptions, the stories of the “Mental Me” so that the True, Authentic Self of you can “glow on” and let your Light shine.  I call this the “Magnificent Me”.  When you learn how to transmute these shadows of the ego, it will turn into the gold of love energy, (see what an alchemist you are?), the love energy that is the substrate of all things.

It’s just that your consciousness, which has been clouded over by fear is distorting the love light that is already the Truth of who you really are. Self-esteem has to come from the inside out or it is just another “fiction of your imagination”. What do you think?

If you have a low self-image, you tend to struggle more with confidence and fear of rejection. You are less likely to take risks, and I certainly can say that dealing with change will be frightening if you are afraid of going into the unknown.

Now I hear people say often, “a part of me feels like…” I say it myself at times. What most people do not realize is that these “parts” of us can run your life. If you believe the real you is this “part” or that you are your thoughts and memories, you will be a set up for the stories and dramas that you tell yourself are “just the way life is”.

Actually, our life experiences are a reflection of the way that we see ourselves.

“We don’t see things as they are; we see them as we are” ~Anais Nin

There’s science for this. You see there is no “out there”. What we see and how we see it has more to do with our perception. We are conditioned to believe that what we do is WHO we are. Actually your “part” that is feeling a certain way has more to do with the way that you wired your brain to think of yourself.

So, for example, if a part of your feels afraid to public speak, it may be related to self-images you have remembered from childhood. It could be when little Johnny laughed at you at the school recital, and you did not realize that his laughter had nothing to do with you. It was just his opinion or perhaps he was not even laughing at you, he could have been daydreaming and did not even notice what you were saying.

We make up stories like this all the time and then we go as far as attaching our very identity to the feelings that we have. If you over-identify with these “parts” you will think that they are the “real deal” the real you. Actually, there is the Mental Me and then there is the real me, the “Magnificent Me”. This Magnificent me is the spirit, the Observer, the Being of me.

What we do is separate from this Self but we get it all tangled up and confused and start judging our behavior as if it is WHO we are. Once we confuse “the what” with “the whom”, once we believe that the “part” that we play on the stage of life is the real US, our self-image and self-esteem gets involved.

Is Denzel Washington the part that he plays in his movies? No. He may feel the pain of his part if he really gets into the role, but at the end of the day, he is not that part. Well it is the same with our spirit Self as it plays the roles of human. Roles are behaviors; they are not identities.

Also remember that you cannot control what others say about you or how they perceive you. What matters only is how you perceive yourself. If you have a behavior that you want to change, change it. It has nothing to do with the Being of you; it does reflect your character (see the similarity to acting again – character?), and values but these things are fluid, they change.

Your consciousness is infinite; the only thing that constricts it is your own perceptual system – the way you wire your brain and mind. You want to play a bigger game in life? Then upgrade your parts. Until you learn how to do this, you will “get played” by the projections of others and the disempowering stories that you unconsciously create for yourself via these parts. Come and learn how to retrain your brain to win at life from the inside out. Your self-image and level of confidence can be aligned with your inner Authentic Self for true empowerment.  What do you think?

We have learned more about the brain, mind and nervous system in the past decade than in all the recorded centuries combined.

Why now? There can be several reasons and the ones I feel are surely relevant would be the following:

1. New technology
2. Open-minded scientists who are willing to explore the unknown instead of only staying within their “controllable” comfort zone.

It is a travesty how some researchers fight off new information that conflicts with what they want to perpetrate or believe. Knowing the tricks that the mind can play though, I think that sometimes this is done innocently. Our fear-based mindsets tend to want to hold onto predictability so unless there is a deeper awareness of the willingness to embrace change, it is common for people to close their minds to information that conflicts with their existing paradigm of the world.

Today I saw on the Oprah Show a conversation regarding weight and self-love. Overall, the message is one that I talk about often, which is that self-love and acceptance needs to be the starting point to personal growth and empowerment. There is a myth perpetuated within the psyche of most people that beating ourselves up is perfectly acceptable as a way to change behavior.

Talk about ignorance, this is just want you need to avoid! What you resist persists and creating feelings of shame is the last thing you want to do if you want to feel “good enough”. Just think about this – you are trying to feel good enough by beating yourself up. This is backwards.

Think of the flower garden since it is springtime. When your perennials come through the soil they look scrawny and dull. Or, if you plant a seedling, it starts out puny looking. Do you step on it? Do you spit on it can call it stupid, ugly or too skinny/big?

Or do you nurture it with loving energy, water and nutrients. Sunshine makes it grow, not covering it up and hiding it. We don’t say “shame on you, you ugly plant”. Well, I have news for you; you are a part of Nature also. You need to be nurtured to grow, to shine and be your best also.

I’m not saying that you are to pretend (you may have to at first – act enthusiastic and you will become so – you can reverse these beliefs), nor am I saying to condone and stay stuck where you are. I’m advocating looking at your life through eyes of compassion and say that you are doing your best at this point and that you are EVOLVING, expanding and growing.

If you keep your attention on the outcome, the potential that can unfold, and just be grateful as much as possible where you are, you mind can shift as you keep your attention on this positive outcome. Your mind is like a missile seeking machine. It goes just where you focus attention. It’s goal is to get what you focus on and the more emotion you have attached, the more powerful the mind moves to wire the brain and bring it to pass by causing the actions that you take.

You want a beautiful life garden? Stop “hating” yourself and learn to love yourself. This is what I’m teaching others as I use to believe something was wrong with me and that I was unlovable to the core. Now, finally, I “know that I know” I’m good enough. It has absolutely nothing to do with race, beauty, social or financial status. No, doggone it; I’m good enough because I breathe! As they say ‘God don’t make no junk”.

This kind of confidence and self-esteem can only be found by opening your mind, understanding how you were programmed in the first place and how to release these energetic stories, and getting in touch with your Authentic Self, and listening to your Guidance. It’s about letting go of the story about “who you think you are” and realizing who you really are. Removing the “cataracts of the soul” will allow you to see a whole new world, from the inside out!

“There is an inmost center in us all, where truth abides in fullness;….and, to know, rather consists in opening out a way where the imprisoned splendor may escape, then in effecting entry for a light supposed to be without.”

We’ve had it backwards for so long. From the time we were children, we have been conditioned, via ignorance, to look for our security, love and self-esteem outside of ourselves. We look around the landscape and compare our worth relative to others, based on external values of gender, race, culture, class and even clothing.

These are all just judgments made from a wounded ego, the storytelling part of the brain. These are the way of victim consciousness and it is totally disempowering. The confidence that I speak of comes from “core confidence” which is an inside job.

I can sense though intuitively and from listening to others that these changing times of ours are shifting this tide. I have a sense that there is a sense of restlessness. A growing number of people are looking for some new answers to some old questions such as:

1. Who am I?
2. Why am I here?
3. Why do I believe what I believe; what is life about?

For the most part, the stories of who we think we are were written from a foundation rooted in FEAR – the fiction accepted as Truth when in reality it was only a way of interpretation, a story that covered over the Light of our being, our Authentic Self. The challenge is that if it is “true” for you, it will create your experience via your nervous system.

In our brains, we have an area called “autobiographical memory” which via our conclusions and thus formed perceptions, we create a “Mental Me” – the story of who we think we are. Be aware through, that as a whole, these deeply rooted conclusions were formed by you unconsciously often before the age of seven when you were most illogical and a bundle of shifting emotions.

In other words, who you think you are was formed in the mind/brain of a child who still believed in the boogeyman under the bed. The way to empower up, truly empower yourself, is to realize that you are more than your stories and you are more than “only human”. This is the starting point. You must open your mind to new ideas from science and learn to trust your own intuitive guidance.

Then as you learn how to retrain your brain, via updating your information, and opening your mind to use energy awareness and tools that can go to the root of these stories. You can eliminate the “blind spots” that are covering your inner splendor, that “Magnificent Me” instead of continuing to look for your power and love in all the wrong places.

This works and the change can be made as fast as you are willing to commit and evolve. This is not about “fixing” yourself for you are not “broken”. It is about awakening and remembering, getting in touch with your spirit, your Authentic Self, your purpose and having the courage, the “Core Confidence” to release the cellular memory, the energetic stories that are hanging out in your nervous system.

Yes, you have/are an inner spirit, yet you live in a physical body. Learning how to operate your own brain and mind consciously is the door to empowering yourself for lasting change, spiritually, emotionally, mentally and physically. These stories limit everything from business success to the level of good health you experience. You can only accomplish this sort of lasting change with awareness from the inside out. What do you think?

It is so connected to “doing” that you will always have something else to, well, do. Basing your confidence and self-esteem on what you accomplish, your job title or how much money you make is a bottomless pit – here today, gone tomorrow.

Do you want to continue to live like this? I think not. The way to peace of mind and true success and abundance is to get to the core of the matter. That’s why I speak about “core confidence” as the only type of authentic confidence to be uncovered.

Notice I said “uncovered”. This place of inner power is already there. It’s a place of inner knowing of courage that comes from the inside out. It takes courage to turn your attention away from seeking outside of yourself – including seeking love, security and self-esteem.

We are so conditioned from the time we are very young children to go after these human needs outside of ourselves and this will impact your level of achievement in every area of your life, including business, relationships and health. Why? Because mindset is at the root of all of the actions you take.

Perception forms your mindset and mindset forms your perception. It is a feedback loop. Until we understand that HOW you think is the foundation to what actions you take and what opportunities you can perceive to take advantage of, we cannot be effective or come from our highest potential.

It was not until I discovered how to root out the stories of not good enough, not enough, or not worthy that I could finally come from a place that get more and more unshakable every year.

Here’s a key tip: YOU are not your thoughts. As shocking as that may be to some people, what you think is not the same as who you are. Brain science can demonstrate this beautifully and it’s time to shift your paradigm.

Here is another point. In the early years, I considered myself a “spiritual seeker”, yet at some point, in order to be effective on this earth I had to get the “aha” that spirit and the everyday living of life needs to be integrated or else you can get “so heavenly bound that you are no earthly good”.

For example, I know this may be controversial for some people but I do not subscribe to the belief that money is not spiritual. Money is an innocent bystander to the consciousness that controls it. And if having money or desire to achieve is “bad” and not spiritual, then why as a “seeker” to bother to get out of the bed in the morning and go to work to get more money?

Why have any dreams to express your gifts? The key is to separate your sense of self and power from what you do.

Having wealth and goals make life interesting and can help raise the quality of life for all when used from an authentic, empowered space. Have plenty of both, but just be wise enough to not allow it to “have you”.  Simple as that.

When you attach your very identity to money or achievement you will start to lose your authentic self for the ego sense, Mental Me, sense of self. This ego identity lives in the space of fear and separation from others.  You have to have a sense of “ego” or human identity to function in the world. Yet, you need to separate “fact from fiction” and update this storytelling ego area of your brain so that you can let go of self-limiting perceptions.

When we learn how to drop the fear, the “Fictitious Evidence Affecting Reality” and learn what it means in a practical way to shine from our authentic self, we can truly live as confident women. I don’t know about you, but I plan on experiencing love, joy, peace and prosperity in my business, relationships and health. It does not have to be either/or and life was not meant to be one drama after another.

No, the answer lies within. It comes from accepting who you are and cultivating your unique gifts and talents. The “cures” for our woes start with understanding the science behind how our brains and minds work and being lead by spirit/intuition, the inner wisdom of our Authentic Self.

This is the path of true power. The world does not give this type of confidence and self-esteem and the world cannot take it away. What do you think?