Archive for March, 2010
Monday, March 29th, 2010
 Empowerment is not just about confidence and speaking up or taking risks. It’s really all-inclusive – relationships, finance/career and health. Integrative empowerment involves spirit, mind and body. One of the reasons we struggle throughout life is that we are taught to compartmentalize ourselves.
There is too often a disconnect between how we really feel and what we do, or what we say. We talk about “pursuit of happiness” yet, when we or others attempt to come from an inner place of authenticity, if it does not fit inside of a narrow little box, there is not uncommonly, shame, guilt or blame heaped upon the one who finds a little courage to venture outside the “accepted” behavior for the group they currently associate with.
Well, I think it’s time to talk about how these dynamic impacts in a negative way everything from your health and aging, to whether or not you die with your joy and happiness locked deep inside of you. Over the many years I spent practicing medicine, I found that the people who were happiest, healthier and had the happier relationships tended to be open-minded, less concerned about what others thought of them and more likely to have a sense of humor or playfulness.
When we think that acting like an “adult” means that we have to be “serious”, or that to be successful we have to “work hard” or that health comes from focusing on avoiding being sick – we disempower ourselves in all of these areas. These are just common myths, common beliefs.
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Tags: Confidence, Empowerment, Happiness, Peace of Mind, Staying Healthy
Posted in Happiness, Staying Healthy | 2 Comments »
Friday, March 26th, 2010
 Empowerment seems to be a developing buzzword these days. I think people are starting to realize that there is more to life than stress and struggle and they want to do something about the status quo other than whine and complain about it.
I’m all for it as truth be told, talking about what is wrong all day long only makes things worse – or at least feel worse. This is because what you focus on expands and your words and language matter.
This is true also when you speak your words powerfully. When you speak in terms of what you want and imagine what you can do, be or have, you are just as likely to feel good and excited and achieve your goals as when you do the opposite. Think about it; when was the last time you saw someone who was chronically negative, do anything of significance that attracted abundance and happiness?
Those that walk around in a funk complaining about the sky falling down are not very likely to notice opportunities all around them or to take action to move toward success. They are too overcome by fear, their story about how bad life is.
Well, even the words “self-improvement”, though innocent I’m sure, are not the best way to focus your attention if you want to start making some upward bound quantum leaps in your life. Here’s why.
It’s the word “improvement”. It implies that there must be something “wrong” with you right now. I have an “aha” that has really shifted my perception. It is not “improvement” so much as it is “growth” or unfolding.
Why does a “weakness” have to be “bad”? It’s because we are geared to be critical and judgmental and look for the worse, to look for “flaws” in others and ourselves. I’m not advocating that we ignore our weak areas, no; I’m saying that wisdom dictates that we shift only our perception of how we interpret them.
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Tags: Confidence, Empowerment, Overcome Fear, Self-Esteem, Stress
Posted in Empowerment | 2 Comments »
Tuesday, March 23rd, 2010
 Core Confidence is about finding your own inner voice and living your authentic life. You are unique and special, and there is no one else with your fingerprint or exact set of gifts, talents and character traits.
Then why are we so often comparing ourselves to the next person? Why are we so afraid to stand out, stand up and do what is important to us and near and dear to our soul? As a quote usually credited to Dr. Seuss says:
“Those that mind don’t matter, those that matter don’t mind”
It’s time to be authentic and stop worrying what others think – does it matter?
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Tags: Career Transition, Confidence, Empowerment, Overcome Fear, Self-Esteem
Posted in Confidence and Self-Esteem | 1 Comment »
Friday, March 19th, 2010
 Confidence and empowerment is much need in our current environment – core confidence that is. If you have built your sense of self upon external opinions and the quicksand of what material possession, job or degree you hold, you may be feeling insecure right now.
I used to be caught in the trap of comparing myself to others. I had “delusions of inferiority” instead of grandeur. I’ve noticed that the story lines are not that varied. Most people spend their lives living much less content and abundant than they need to.
The problem is, we give all of our attention to the external world, to the neglect of our inner Spirit. This is why we don’t feel empowered. We are more than “only human”. Human is fine, and I think we should be grateful to be alive and appreciate the journey.
Yet, if you are not aware of the power of the invisible world, including “thoughts, feelings and emotions”, you will hit all sorts of land mines on the road of life. We tend to only look at the physical. What we do not realize often, is that the physical is that last thing to manifest, meaning, your physical world is formed from the invisible.
Your body believes every thing your mind believes, as they are not separate. If you believe that “life is under pressure”, don’t be surprised if you develop high blood pressure. If you think that people around you are a pain in the neck, don’t be surprised if you have tight neck and shoulders. You may even demonstrate a rigid personality, which could be the source of your aliments!
When we believe that we are at the mercy of people places and circumstances, we unconsciously keep our attention on what we don’t want, who we don’t like and “if only” something outside of ourselves would change – then we could be happy.
Well, don’t hold your breath, because you will not be long on the planet.
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Tags: Career Transition, Confidence, Empowerment, Happiness
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Friday, March 12th, 2010
 Confidence is required to talk publicly about money, especially when you come from a place of abundance. Since there is so much scarcity thinking around money, buttons are highly likely to be pushed.
I don’t know what is the more sensitive subject matter, money, religion or politics. Have you ever wondered why people get upset about money when they spend a full one-third (at least) of their life pursuing it?
Also, while I often hear people make negative assumptions about people with money, people who they never met and do not know, while at the same time putting celebrities on a pedestal. If money is so bad, why do we chase after it and all too often feel inferior to those with it?
What an incongruent disconnect. Even those who profess that it is the root of all evil will not be found getting rid of theirs. No, quite the contrary. They can be very stingy, actually. This is why most people struggle with money all of their lives. On the one had they want it, and on the other they either feel it is bad, or they themselves are not worthy.
Money is neutral.
It is whatever we send it out into the world to accomplish. It can be used for good or destruction. And if you want to have business success, you had better get clear about the role you want to play with money.
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Tags: Confidence, Empowerment, Money and Career, Self-Esteem
Posted in Money and Career | 2 Comments »
Thursday, March 11th, 2010
 At the end of the day, we all want peace of mind. Look at the word “inner peace” and you may see a clue to where you can find it. Then why do we believe that getting a new title, possession or relationship is going to give it to us?
And why can’t we see that even if we temporarily feel better by getting what we want outside of ourselves that it is a shaky proposition at best? Well, it’s wired into our brains and body. Since memory is held in the body at a cellular level, it is not going anywhere until we learn how to change it.
Here’s a key: memory is a story that you create. Yes, facts happen, events happen, but it is the MEANING that you assign makes all of the difference. And you will assign your meaning primarily based upon your own self-image.
If you feel powerless and insecure you will view how someone reacted to you differently than someone who loves themselves and “knows that they know” that what they do is NOT who they are – two very different things.
When I have my identity wrapped up in my activity, roles and appearance, I will be very vulnerable to change. When I realize that my essence is separate and apart from what others think about me, I can make a conscious decision to respond with confidence and power rather than being knocked over by the opinion of someone who at the end of the day will not expand my life in any way.
We can’t have peace of mind until we change the thoughts about life that keep us chasing this elusive state of being. I grew up on many beliefs that were held as “common sense”. They may be common but they make no sense if you want to live an empowered, abundant and happy life. What are some of these beliefs?
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Tags: Confidence, Empowerment, Happiness, Peace of Mind, Self-Esteem
Posted in Empowerment, Practical Spirituality | 1 Comment »
Wednesday, March 10th, 2010
 Topics of empowerment always grab my attention because I know that feeling victimized and out of control is no way to live.
In fact, since stress is such a killer, if we are chronically overwhelmed and ill at ease, we will not live a long life and at best, certainly if we do our life will not be of a high quality.
So, since I highly value peace of mind and good health, I made it my business to get to the root of my dis-ease. I started to notice that I had this companion hanging around my life that did not support me, that put me down and seemed to cause me to miss opportunities that could have created more abundance and adventure in my life.
It seemed to follow me wherever I went, and though it felt familiar, it did not seem to have my best interest at heart. Why would you ask, did I allow such a companion to hang out with me? Good question. As soon as I started to realize this, I began to make it my business to cut the ties and figure out how to get rid of it.
Who or what was this companion? It is fear. We can get so attached to fear that it becomes our familiar way of traveling through life. Fear, or Fictitious Evidence Creating Reality, it is the story that we wire into our brains that life is unsafe, full of suffering and lack and that is just “the way it is”.
Notice I say “fictitious”; we are making it all up.
Can life have physical threat and dangers? Of course, events happen. But this is not the general rule or else you would probably not be alive to read these words. I assume you are more than 5 years old.
The average man or woman lives around 75 years or so. How is it that we use up those years suffering and afraid to get out of our box? The main reason is that we do not know how our brain and minds work, and we take in the outdated beliefs of those who arrived here before us and we think that these beliefs are the Truth of the entire Universe.
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Tags: Confidence, Empowerment, Inner Peace, Self-Esteem
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Friday, March 5th, 2010
 While empowerment starts as an idea in mind, it doesn’t make any difference until we start taking the action to make it happen. Having a lot of good ideas or intentions is nice, but at the end of the day, results matter.
Time is something that I’ve noticed people talk about frequently. I often hear “I don’t have enough time”, “I’m sooooo busy”, and “Time is moving so fast”…these are only a few thoughts that do not empower you. They can in fact create a sense of powerlessness.
I’ve tried many “time management” tricks in the past, none of which really worked for me as they were all about changing my behavior. In fact, that is where most “change agents” focus their attention. They give you new behaviors to perform without really addressing what is driving your behavior in the first place.
Since I started working with the root cause of behavior, my life has drastically shifted for the better. What’s the root cause of behavior, you may ask? It’s thought and feeling, which forms your belief. Fundamentally, it is energy.
The belief will then cause us to take action and create the story of our life. It is simple; yet it is easy only if you convince your self that you CAN change your life, enjoy your life even, without struggle and “hard work”. What I’m saying here is that we are making up our life experiences, and what they MEAN to us as we go.
So, one of the most empowering things that has happened to me is to become aware of certain key elements that determine the quality of our life experience and begin to consciously deal with them. Getting back to time – did you know that time is not “real”? Even Einstein talked about time and the “theory of relativity”.
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Tags: Confidence, Empowerment, Self-Estem, Stress, Time Management
Posted in Empowerment, Money and Career | 3 Comments »
Wednesday, March 3rd, 2010
 Stress is so common now that there is an American Institute of Stress. Unfortunate. I read a statistic recently that 75-90% of all visits to a primary care doctor is due to stress. What is stress?
Essentially it is an emotional dis-ease. It is a chronic feeling of overwhelm, insecurity and feeling out of control in some way. It is a perception based in danger or threat. And the good news is, it is by far psychological. I say “good” in that if you learn how to change your mindset, you can change your level of stress.
I know from first hand experience. It’s not even how much you do, as it is how you are thinking ABOUT what you are doing. It is generally not due to a real physical threat, only one in your imagination.
If you set your intention to change, and find someone, like me, who understands how to consciously calm down your brain, and reframe the way you perceive life, you can shift your reality from one based in fear, dread and unhappiness to one that is expansive, abundant and out right peaceful. Does it take effort?
Yes, and probably not as much as you think. However I will say, if you think you can change your life without any determination or commitment, you are just going to continue to stress yourself out.
Eliminating stress is really an inside job. Once you change your inner reality, the outer will just line up – it’s magical how that happens.
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Tags: Confidence, Empowerment, Mindset, Self-Esteem, Stress
Posted in Cataracts of the Soul-Fear | 1 Comment »
Monday, March 1st, 2010
 Confidence and self-esteem is needed now more than ever. It would do people much more good than medication, which is only masking the symptoms of fear and inner turmoil. That inner turmoil, and depression can set up a loop of low confidence and self-esteem, and the lower the confidence and self-esteem, the more stress and feelings of struggle can wreck havoc on your body.
That’s right – there have been studies that show that low self-esteem is bad for our health.
One way it works is that negative self-talk and that queasy feeling you get when you worry about what others are thinking of you actually triggers the stress response in the body.
A chronic stress response will weaken you immune system, raise your blood pressure, damage your heart and arteries, kill off your brain cells and stiffen your muscles and joints. All of this because you are living under the illusion that you are not good enough, not worthy or the crazy belief that something is “wrong with you”.
Boy, did I know that one. I used to have “delusions of inferiority”. Thank goodness I finally woke up and realized that I was making it all up. All the world is a stage all right and it is empowering to know that I can change my role I am playing at will when I know how – and you can too.
I think it is silly how some psychologist actually promote putting yourself down as if “thinking too highly of yourself” is a bad thing. Now, I’m not talking about narcissism, which is actually a form of insecurity and ego-based comparison. Narcisstic people don’t come from a place of inner peace either.
I’m referring to “core” confidence, which comes from your spirit, your heart. In fact, the word “courage” comes the French word “cour” which means “heart”. Courage is strength of heart. It does take courage to look at your fears, worries and negative self-talk in the face and boldly DECIDE to change.
Yes, it is a decision, a choice.
When you take the time to learn how to let go of the conditioned fears and small mindsets that are passed on to us, we can change from the inside out and let go, empower up and play a bigger game. I’ve done it and I continue to grow.
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Tags: Confidence, Empowerment, Peace of Mind, Self-Esteem, Stress
Posted in Confidence and Self-Esteem | Comments Off
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Empowerment is not just about confidence and speaking up or taking risks. It’s really all-inclusive – relationships, finance/career and health. Integrative empowerment involves spirit, mind and body. One of the reasons we struggle throughout life is that we are taught to compartmentalize ourselves.
