At the end of the day, we all want peace of mind. Look at the word “inner peace” and you may see a clue to where you can find it. Then why do we believe that getting a new title, possession or relationship is going to give it to us?
And why can’t we see that even if we temporarily feel better by getting what we want outside of ourselves that it is a shaky proposition at best? Well, it’s wired into our brains and body. Since memory is held in the body at a cellular level, it is not going anywhere until we learn how to change it.
Here’s a key: memory is a story that you create. Yes, facts happen, events happen, but it is the MEANING that you assign makes all of the difference. And you will assign your meaning primarily based upon your own self-image.
If you feel powerless and insecure you will view how someone reacted to you differently than someone who loves themselves and “knows that they know” that what they do is NOT who they are – two very different things.
When I have my identity wrapped up in my activity, roles and appearance, I will be very vulnerable to change. When I realize that my essence is separate and apart from what others think about me, I can make a conscious decision to respond with confidence and power rather than being knocked over by the opinion of someone who at the end of the day will not expand my life in any way.
We can’t have peace of mind until we change the thoughts about life that keep us chasing this elusive state of being. I grew up on many beliefs that were held as “common sense”. They may be common but they make no sense if you want to live an empowered, abundant and happy life. What are some of these beliefs?
Topics of empowerment always grab my attention because I know that feeling victimized and out of control is no way to live.
In fact, since stress is such a killer, if we are chronically overwhelmed and ill at ease, we will not live a long life and at best, certainly if we do our life will not be of a high quality.
So, since I highly value peace of mind and good health, I made it my business to get to the root of my dis-ease. I started to notice that I had this companion hanging around my life that did not support me, that put me down and seemed to cause me to miss opportunities that could have created more abundance and adventure in my life.
It seemed to follow me wherever I went, and though it felt familiar, it did not seem to have my best interest at heart. Why would you ask, did I allow such a companion to hang out with me? Good question. As soon as I started to realize this, I began to make it my business to cut the ties and figure out how to get rid of it.
Who or what was this companion? It is fear. We can get so attached to fear that it becomes our familiar way of traveling through life. Fear, or Fictitious Evidence Creating Reality, it is the story that we wire into our brains that life is unsafe, full of suffering and lack and that is just “the way it is”.
Notice I say “fictitious”; we are making it all up.
Can life have physical threat and dangers? Of course, events happen. But this is not the general rule or else you would probably not be alive to read these words. I assume you are more than 5 years old.
The average man or woman lives around 75 years or so. How is it that we use up those years suffering and afraid to get out of our box? The main reason is that we do not know how our brain and minds work, and we take in the outdated beliefs of those who arrived here before us and we think that these beliefs are the Truth of the entire Universe.
While empowerment starts as an idea in mind, it doesn’t make any difference until we start taking the action to make it happen. Having a lot of good ideas or intentions is nice, but at the end of the day, results matter.
Time is something that I’ve noticed people talk about frequently. I often hear “I don’t have enough time”, “I’m sooooo busy”, and “Time is moving so fast”…these are only a few thoughts that do not empower you. They can in fact create a sense of powerlessness.
I’ve tried many “time management” tricks in the past, none of which really worked for me as they were all about changing my behavior. In fact, that is where most “change agents” focus their attention. They give you new behaviors to perform without really addressing what is driving your behavior in the first place.
Since I started working with the root cause of behavior, my life has drastically shifted for the better. What’s the root cause of behavior, you may ask? It’s thought and feeling, which forms your belief. Fundamentally, it is energy.
The belief will then cause us to take action and create the story of our life. It is simple; yet it is easy only if you convince your self that you CAN change your life, enjoy your life even, without struggle and “hard work”. What I’m saying here is that we are making up our life experiences, and what they MEAN to us as we go.
So, one of the most empowering things that has happened to me is to become aware of certain key elements that determine the quality of our life experience and begin to consciously deal with them. Getting back to time – did you know that time is not “real”? Even Einstein talked about time and the “theory of relativity”.
Stress is so common now that there is an American Institute of Stress. Unfortunate. I read a statistic recently that 75-90% of all visits to a primary care doctor is due to stress. What is stress?
Essentially it is an emotional dis-ease. It is a chronic feeling of overwhelm, insecurity and feeling out of control in some way. It is a perception based in danger or threat. And the good news is, it is by far psychological. I say “good” in that if you learn how to change your mindset, you can change your level of stress.
I know from first hand experience. It’s not even how much you do, as it is how you are thinking ABOUT what you are doing. It is generally not due to a real physical threat, only one in your imagination.
If you set your intention to change, and find someone, like me, who understands how to consciously calm down your brain, and reframe the way you perceive life, you can shift your reality from one based in fear, dread and unhappiness to one that is expansive, abundant and out right peaceful. Does it take effort?
Yes, and probably not as much as you think. However I will say, if you think you can change your life without any determination or commitment, you are just going to continue to stress yourself out.
Eliminating stress is really an inside job. Once you change your inner reality, the outer will just line up – it’s magical how that happens.
Confidence and self-esteem is needed now more than ever. It would do people much more good than medication, which is only masking the symptoms of fear and inner turmoil. That inner turmoil, and depression can set up a loop of low confidence and self-esteem, and the lower the confidence and self-esteem, the more stress and feelings of struggle can wreck havoc on your body.
That’s right – there have been studies that show that low self-esteem is bad for our health.
One way it works is that negative self-talk and that queasy feeling you get when you worry about what others are thinking of you actually triggers the stress response in the body.
A chronic stress response will weaken you immune system, raise your blood pressure, damage your heart and arteries, kill off your brain cells and stiffen your muscles and joints. All of this because you are living under the illusion that you are not good enough, not worthy or the crazy belief that something is “wrong with you”.
Boy, did I know that one. I used to have “delusions of inferiority”. Thank goodness I finally woke up and realized that I was making it all up. All the world is a stage all right and it is empowering to know that I can change my role I am playing at will when I know how – and you can too.
I think it is silly how some psychologist actually promote putting yourself down as if “thinking too highly of yourself” is a bad thing. Now, I’m not talking about narcissism, which is actually a form of insecurity and ego-based comparison. Narcisstic people don’t come from a place of inner peace either.
I’m referring to “core” confidence, which comes from your spirit, your heart. In fact, the word “courage” comes the French word “cour” which means “heart”. Courage is strength of heart. It does take courage to look at your fears, worries and negative self-talk in the face and boldly DECIDE to change.
Yes, it is a decision, a choice.
When you take the time to learn how to let go of the conditioned fears and small mindsets that are passed on to us, we can change from the inside out and let go, empower up and play a bigger game. I’ve done it and I continue to grow.
Empowerment is more often a topic for discussion lately, I believe because we are undergoing a shift in paradigms. Most people are looking at the changes going on in the world as a “bad” thing. I see the metaphor of the butterfly when I look around.
What it feels like to me is that society is like the caterpillar that is undergoing change and in that transition of going from the less than gracefully caterpillar to the butterfly there is a struggle. With change comes turmoil often because most people resist it and react instead of responding from a place of power.
We all want a better health care system, yet just look at all of the resistance going on in Washington. We want prosperity, yet our system breed debt and Wall Street and the markets are a mess. Then there’s the issue of relationships. Depression and dysfunction is at an all time high, yet, most people resist personal change until they hit the proverbial brick wall.
Why wait?
Change is going to come either way. We can resist kicking and screaming or adapt and learn how to get into the flow. We can proactively release our old baggage and wounded emotional patterns by learning new ways of shifting using our awareness and working with the energy of life, or we can stuff our feelings and continue to experience more chronic disease and lack of peace within ourselves and with others.
Emotion is something that is in your best interest to get acquainted with and stop fearing. Considering that emotions carries 5,000 times more magnetic energy than thought alone (visit HeartMath.org for more info), it is nothing to play around with and ignore if you want to optimize your health – mentally as well as physically.
Emotions play a major role in the state of your health. For example, hypertension is “life under pressure” or high tension. Stress, which is attributed to be the underlying reason for 75-90% of all primary care visits, is an emotional disease. When you feel stress, you are triggering the fear response in your body and it is typically psychological, as we don’t often have physical threat on a daily basis.
Today it snowed again in Chicago, and I could either whine and complain about it, and feel helpless to change it, or I could intend to find the beauty in it, which is what I consciously choose to do. This is always a choice. The challenge is slowing down enough to become aware of your thought pattern and then reset your default dial.
If you have a habit of focusing on what you do not like, you will raise your risk of all sorts of chronic disease. This is also why I choose not to believe in a “cold and flu season”. What is that? Last I checked there were only four seasons, winter spring, summer and fall. Every since I stopped believing in and expecting a season to catch cold, I very rarely even have one.
Confidence and self-esteem boils down to this: you are making it all up. Think about it. Where do you get the ideas to judge yourself by? Why do you think you are born unworthy?
Is that the absolute “Truth”? How do you know? Who told you this? Why do you accept it as true? These are some of the questions I eventually asked myself, as I broke free from the fear of “thinking outside of the box”.
Granted, at one time in our social history we were highly likely to die if the “tribe” kicked us out of the group, but nowadays, with so many options available, you can always find a new “tribe”.
I know that there are feelings involved, however, I’ve come to the conclusion that if someone does not care enough about my well-being to support what is dear and near to my heart (they don’t have to agree, but they don’t have to reject me over it), then it’s just time for me to get over it and move on.
The more comfortable I am in my own skin, the easier it is to move on. After all, I have to live with me; I have no choice (I don’t a have desire to check out of my body). I just say, “there’s only you and me so let’s just disagree” and move on if we cannot work it out – no harm done. Anyway, as far as forming our self-esteem, what we believe about our selves come from a variety of sources when we are not aware of what belief is and how it rules our world.
Is your Mindset dialed to wealth or debt? Success, or fear of failure? It matters to your money where you keep your focus as it will determine what actions you will take unconsciously. For example, most people want to have plenty of money even if the say otherwise. How do I know? As Emerson said (paraphrased),
“I can’t hear what you say because what you do speaks so loudly”
If someone is playing the lottery or working multiple jobs, they have a value placed on obtaining more money for whatever the reason. Considering the level of consumerism and debt in this country, for many people, it is not just to survive that they are working and getting in debt.
Now here is the conflict. Whatever the dominant belief or “vibe” that you put out to the universe will be reflected back to you. The stronger vibration wins. What I mean is, once you realize that your situation and circumstances are reflecting what you feel or believe instead of what you “think” you want, you can begin to see what is really going on. It all boils down again to learning how to manage your own thoughts and feelings, which like anything else, becomes easier once you take the time to learn how to do it.
Now take for example, this issue of focus. You may be an entrepreneur or professional and you want financial success. If you keep talking about how bad things are, or regretting previous decisions, or focusing on your debt, you are giving your energy and attention to this and this will stick like glue to you until you stop it.
Or, if you think that money is bad, or rich people are evil, or that money and spirituality don’t mix and you consider yourself “spiritual”, then you will have inner turmoil over having money. Then there are beliefs such as what could have been passed down through religion or those around you.
What is mindset? Think of it as a radio station that has a frequency that you must dial into. Your mind set tends to be set to a certain way of thinking and keeps bringing the results in your life. It has to do with perception.
If you want to expand the vision for your life, your have to be willing to turn the station from where you are to where you want to find yourself. You have to be willing to open your mind and consider new possibilities.
Or else how are you going to even begin to see a new vision, you keep looking at the old stuff around you, which is yesterday’s vision. So what are the ingredients to mindset? Thought, emotions and feelings. This trio forms the basis of your beliefs, and beliefs are just thoughts and feelings that you keep reinforcing through your perception, HOW you perceive the world.
It is your nervous system’s job, which includes your brain, to make you right and keep looking for and finding what you program yourself to believe by the thoughts, feelings and emotions you experience.
Most of this is done unconsciously, so if you want to change your dial, you have to learn how to consciously switch the dial. Now while this is not necessarily a quick fix, it just depends on your willingness to grow.
If you are looking for the magic pill, you will not find it here, yet, change does not have to take a long time or be a long, drawn out process. That is, if you are willing to be open-minded and develop some discipline along the way.
One of the first steps would be a willingness to change.
1. Set Intention to change
2. Start to see responsibility as the “ability to respond” instead of a dirty word
3. Realize that much of what we are conditioned to think about the world is what is keeping us from living empowered lives. Your life is a reflection of your beliefs. So you have to open your mind to think new thoughts for new results.
At the end of the day, we all want peace of mind. Look at the word “inner peace” and you may see a clue to where you can find it. Then why do we believe that getting a new title, possession or relationship is going to give it to us?
