Low self-esteem can be thought of as a habit in that habits are simply thoughts that have been "hardwired" into the brain’s circuitry.Neuroscience shows how thoughts that are repetitive or that have initial strong emotion associated with them causes the necessary biochemical reactions in the brain to become a part of long term memory and a part of the deeper unconscious thinking processes that run your life. This is how low self-esteem gets started.
For example, I play the piano and when I first play a new musical piece, I have to think about it and play it over and over again in order to "play it masterfully". If I am disciplined and continue to regularly practice, soon I will not need the sheet music and I will start to play it from memory or from habit. In fact, when I sit down to play, if I consciously think about what I am doing too much, I usually will make mistakes. I play better when I simply put my hands on the keys and start to play using my feelings, as it becomes automatic. This would be an example of a habit.What neuroscience shows is that habits are formed by repeated thoughts and reinforced with feelings, and by taking action, over and over again. These thoughts literally "wire" your brain. Yes, you read correctly, the thoughts in your mind literally wire your brain. I don’t want to get too scientific and technical here as most people are not interested in this much detail, but your brain is set up like a receiver in many ways. The junctions that wired your thinking become stronger the more you focus on the thoughts and the more you feel the associated emotion and act out the behavior. Now this is important because the vast majority of people focus on what they DON’T want. Then they wonder why it keeps happening or why they aren’t getting ahead.
Low self-esteem starts with a thought somewhere in your past. Usually it is at such an early age that you don’t remember. Low self-esteem, or a feeling of unworthiness or inadequacy begins to become a "thought habit" and will, of course, influence your behavior. If you keep focusing your thoughts on negative self-talk, why you can’t do something, or what could go wrong with your life, don’t be surprised if your brain’s hardwiring for negative self-talk gets stronger with time. It’s like the formation of the Grand Canyon. It starts out with a small river but over time, the groves in the brain’s wiring tracks become so deep, they become difficult to break.The good news is, you don’t have to break them, you just have to start focusing on better thoughts about yourself and taking your attention away from the low self-esteem thoughts. The process of "use it or lose it" works in the brain as well. Going back to my piano analogy, when I stop playing the piano for a while, if I go back to that memorized musical piece I will not play it as well, if at all. Usually I have to pull out the sheet music again because the brain connections have fallen away to a great degree.This is how I originally started to break my low self-esteem habit even before neuroscience backed it up. I simply learned how to become mindful and watch my thoughts, took my attention away from the ones I did not want, and started to focus my attention, feelings and actions on what I wanted, using a variety of techniques. Changing my mind (thoughts) literally changes my brain.Low self-esteem is a habit that I can certainly live without!
Valencia Ray MD ©2009
The Confidence Doc
www.valenciaray.com |
